FREE CUT OUT AND KEEP DAVID LYNCH-O-METER

HOLLYWOOD – Wild at Heart but a bit of an Eraserhead? You need our free giveaway cut out and keep David Lynch-O-Meter!

‘Yes, I am making Twin Peaks!’ – ‘No, I’m not making Twin Peaks!’ – ‘Then again maybe I am making Twin Peaks, or Dune Messiah!’ For months it has been almost impossible to get The Straight Story from arch weirdo David Lynch, but don’t get Blue (Velvet). Here at the Studio Exec (with the help of master craftsman @ThePixelFactor) we have produced an EXCLUSIVE David Lynch-O-Meter to help predict the actions of the Lost Highway himself before he (Mulholland) Drives us all crazy.

Spin the wheel and find out what David Lynch is going to do today. Whether it is directing or not directing season three of Tin Peaks for Showtime, or perhaps putting the dental in Transcendental Meditation, this helpful implement will be fun for all the family from toddlers to Grandpa!

And did I mention it was FREE!

For more Twin Peaks News CLICK HERE.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DAVID LYNCH OPENS A DRIVING SCHOOL

HOLLYWOOD – Times have been hard for David Lynch, director of The Elephant Man, Dune and Blue Velvet.

He lost all his money in the great Transcendental Meditation scam of 2006 and was even reduced to directing a concert movie for eighties revival band Duran Duran, but luckily hope is on the way and the Lynchster (as he prefers to be known) is bouncing back in his own inimtable Eraserhead-ish way by opening a Driving School in Scotland.

The Mulholland Drive Driving School opened for business earlier this week in the city of Glasgow in Scotland, which is north of Great Britain in England. 

When we spoke to Mr. Lynch, he seemed cheerfully keen on his new venture:

I got the idea from watching Breaking Bad. He gets a car wash. And I get a driving school. Of course, I don’t have a meth lab yet, but that’s only a matter of time. 

Customers seemed to be bemused by their unconventional instructor. Tam Holloway (19) said: 

We were practicing my emergency stop and all I can say is I’ve never been so unnerved and unsettled while at the same time effective. 

Sally McParland (21) said:

He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride and I said ‘That’s why I was here’. And he said, ‘why are you here?’ And I said to go for a ride and he said ‘A ride! What a great idea! Let’s hit the effing road!’

Nancy Barstow (41) said: 

He’s very patient. I’m an adult learner and so I get nervous but he’s very relaxed and then somehow when we were doing parallel parking he dipped into my inner most nightmares. Which was nice.

David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive Driving School is open for business Mondays to Saturdays.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT NAOMI WATTS

HOLLYWOOD – How many myths? How many lies? How much mumbo jumbo has surrounded the most enigmatic of Norwegians, Naomi Watts?

Well no longer! Studio Exec – armed with the baloney busting Bazooka of brilliance – puts paid to piffle with FACT.

  1. Naomi Watts’ father Jeff Watts invented electricity. 
  2. In preparation for the filming of Tsunami drama The Impossible Watts and her co-star Fr. Ewan MacGregor learnt to speak fluent Spanish, had their hair dyed and even applied for Spanish citizenship so as to reproduce the experiences of the real life Belòn family with the appropriate verisimilitude. ‘It would be a disgusting insult to Maria Belòn and her family to just Anglicize the characters in order to make the film more commercially successful,’ said Ms. Watts. However, the studio dubbed the film into English and changed the family into an English family, at which point Ms. Watts forgot Spanish instantly.
  3. As well as being a versatile actress, Naomi Watts is also an expert linguist. Her mastery of accents is such that people rarely guess she is Norwegian. She adopts a light Australian accent during interviews which provoked criticism from the Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg, who took to referring to Naomi Watts as Naomi Whats?, which is considered hilarious in Norway and was instrumental to his winning of the election.
  4. Her early film roles included a supporting role in Tank Girl and Norwegian soap opera Home and Away. Naomi Watts also appeared in King Kong, although at the last minute the roles were changed and Andy Serkis played the large eponymous monkey. 
  5. During the filming of David Lynch’s masterly Mulholland Drive, Ms. Watts prepared for her part by eating nothing but squirrel in the mistaken belief it would help her attune to Mr. Lynch’s precise brand of weirdness.  She used the same technique when starring in the American language version of Funny Games, during which she only ate Michael Haneke’s favourite type of Pot Noodle. 
For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE!