THE STUDIO EXEC HISTORY OF HOLLYWOOD: PART 1. HOW HOLLYWOOD GOT ITS NAME

HOLLYWOOD – A comprehensive history of Hollywood, written by the man who put up the ‘H’.

So Los Angeles. The turn of the century. A sparse neighborhood. A traveler rests on path halfway up a hill when a Chinese man leading a donkey pulling a cart filled with timber.

‘What’s the name of this place?’ the traveler asks.

Chinese fella thinks he’s being asked what he’s doing.

‘Hauling wood,’ he answers.

‘Hollywood, huh?’ says the traveler. ‘Nice name.’

And so it goes.

Forget that there are Hollywoods all over the country. There are twenty four places called Hollywood to be exact. There are two in Ireland. And there’s one in Yorkshire, United Kingdom.

From which we can conclude that this Chinese fella and his cart certainly marked up the mileage.

But it’s fitting that the place is mark with an improbable story, because that was basically going to be the job for a good few decades to come.

This series shall continue.

THE BLACK LIST: 3 TOP SCRIPTS

HOLLYWOOD – The fabled Black List is the creme de la creme of unproduced scripts and occasionally offers up a brilliant film.

The Studio Exec have been given EXCLUSIVE no holds barred access to the Black List and are here able to share our top 3 picks.

1. Chalk and Cheese: Detective Eddie Cheese is a maverick cop who refuses to play by the rules, but gets results. Federal Agent Evelyn Cheese is an uptight by-the-book law enforcement officer. But when the center of the Earth is stolen Cheese and Chalk need to put aside their differences to find the magma core and replaces, reluctantly learning from each other along the way as a latent romantic tension fizzes beneath the surface despite the fact that Eddie Cheese is a leather bar frequenting homosexual and Evelyn Chalk a lesbian with a 1970s aversion to men. Can they put aside their mutual dislike, their mutually incompatible way of working and their sexual idenitities to give the audience what they want and save the Earth from what geologists are calling ‘a bad day’? Find out! In Chalk and Cheese!

2. Voyage to Baaar: Deep in the cold vastness of space, the pirate ship Zapahr led by the intrepid Captain Zep and his merry band of Cybots come across a life pod. In the pod there is a small child who they call Manifest and who grows to be one of them as they crisscross the galaxy hunted by the evil M’Hannnana Confederation of Japanese. The Oracle declares about twenty minutes in that there is a prophecy that One Will Come who will bring balance, lead the universe and be able to open jam jars with his teeth. No one has a clue – least of all Manifest – who this One might be. He is never mentioned again and life continues uneventfully much as it has done for thousands of years.

3. The Inconsolable Fiddliness of Grief: Meet the Bartonvilles: a family of dysfunctional grown children – Anus, Bridey and Callum – gather in an isolated farmhouse in Montana to attend the assisted suicide of their parents – George, a concert pianist who has lost each one of his fingers in ten separate severing incidents and Marjorie, an award winning novelist who stole all her ideas from the back of a cereal packet she has since lost.  As they family get progressively more drunk and depressed, they shout at each other in a series of frankly incomprehensible revelations.

Which of these films would you most like me to take off the Black List and green light? Select your choice via the comments box or Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr.

STEVEN SODERBERGH REMASTERS SCHINDLER’S LIST

HOLLYWOOD – After his recent tinkering with Raiders of the Lost Ark, Stephen Soderbergh is currently working on a new version of Spielberg’s Holocaust epic Schindler’s List.

“I love Spielberg’s movies, he’s a genius and I want to celebrate his genius by experimenting with his entire body of work,” said Soderbergh.

Soderbergh had planned to rework Jaws but he had problems  licensing the music:

The plan was to remove the original soundtrack and play The Village People’s In the Navy on a loop for the entire length of the picture. Unfortunately we were unable to secure the rights because Lars Von Trier acquired them for his upcoming re-imagining of Das Boot.

Disappointed, Soderbergh turned his attention to Schindler’s List and he’s exceptionally pleased with the result:

We’ve changed the entire mood of the picture. Sure, it’s still a concentration camp but when you hear the sound of Bob Marley singing ‘Don’t worry, ’bout a thing,’ it transforms an otherwise harrowing scene into something uplifting.

Other songs featured on the soundtrack are Pete Tosh’s Legalize It, Prince Buster’s Madness and a new version of Lady in Red by Wyclef Jean.

Schindler’s List: The Roots Cut is due for release in 2015.