PHARRELL WILLIAMS SUED BY MOUNTIES

HOLLYWOOD – In an escalation of his legal woes, Pharrell Williams is being sued by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – or Mounties as they are popularly known – who claim that the singer’s famous head wear  constitutes a brand violation.

The Happy singer recently lost a legal battle with the Marvin Gaye estate concerning Blurred Lines, a song he co-wrote with Robin Thicke (and Marvin Gaye as it now appears). In this latest case the RCMP issued a cease and desist writ followed by an actual subpoena for the singer to appear in court and answer charges of copyright infringement.

Captain O’Leary told the Studio Exec:

Here at the RCMP we take our image very seriously. We’re not just a working police force, we’re a symbol of the country which is recognizable the world over. We are Canada! The way the tit shaped hat of the English ‘Bobby’ is England. The Mounties have worn that particular style of hat for a hundred years. Now this singer comes prancing around singing about living in some kind of roofless house and it just ain’t right. It brings the uniform and our brand into disrepute.

Although some have criticized the legal case as frivolous it is only one in a growing number of suits which have been targeted at the singer. Serena and Venus Williams are suing him for his use of their surname; wild animals are suing him because feral sounds a bit like Pharrell and the country of Iceland is suing him because despite the song Happy being a hit in that country –  as it was internationally – they are still not happy in what lawyers are calling ‘an obvious breach of contract’.

Pharrell Williams will go to jail for a very long time in 2016.