BEST ATTENDANCE RECORD OSCAR ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – Following on from The Academy’s recent announcement of a new Fan Favorite Oscar, they have announced a new Best Attendance Record Oscar category. With the introduction of the new Best Attendance Record Oscar, this will be the start of a policy where ‘nobody goes away empty handed’. The Exec spoke with Academy President, David Rubin about the new announcement.

What Is The Thinking Behind This Best Attendance Record Oscar?

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. Many of the grown-ups at The Academy sat down to have a good long think about how we can make everybody happy at the same time. At first we came up with the Fan Favorite Oscar to make sure all the Marvel stans got their moment in the sun. But then we realized that will only apply to Marvel’s movies that were out in the past year. And that children, is what we call a problem. How could we fix it? Do you have any ideas? Put your hands up if you think you know.

Was That When You Came Up With-

I said put your hands up. I can sit here and wait just as long as you. It’s your own time you’re wasting.

Was That When You Came Up With This New Oscar?

Yes. And thank you for putting up your hand. We want to make sure all the children – sorry – members of the Academy go away feeling they’re as valued as the actual winners. The Academy will award the member who as appeared and voted most times at the awards over a rolling five year period. We’re also going to give everyone party bags. We’ll make sure everybody gets a slice of cake, some candy and a few toys to play with before bedtime.

What Do You Say To Those Who Accuse The Academy Of Dumbing Down?

I’d tell them to go sit in the quiet corner and think about how unkind they’re being. Once they’ve had a good think, they can come over here and read out their apology essay to the whole class.

The Oscars Take Place On March 27th.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO CATEGORY ANNOUNCED FOR ACADEMY AWARDS

HOLLYWOOD – A new category and anew award for the ‘Oscars’ or the Motion Picture Academy Awards as they are sometimes called: The Leonardo DiCaprio Award.

Announcing the Award, Motion Picture Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs said that the award would be given annually:

It will seek to recognize brilliance and exceptional talent in a motion picture actor, who features in a motion picture in the last calendar year. Although the award will be open to all actors, we are looking to focus on those seasoned performers who have for some reason previously been neglected or disappointed by the Academy. We’re thinking of people like Edward Norton, Tom Cruise, Glenn Close, Johnny Depp, Sigourney Weaver, Harrison Ford, Ed Harris and of course Leonardo DiCaprio.

When asked whether Leonardo diCaprio would win for The Revenant, President Isaacs had this to say:

There is a very good chance Leo might win the Best Actor nomination and eventually the Oscar for Best Actor for his performance. I couldn’t possibly speculate. However, we do know that if he doesn’t, then there’s an even better chance he will win the Best Leonardo diCaprio Oscar. If, that is, Matthew McConaughey doesn’t pip him to the post.

The Oscars will be broadcast on February 28th, 2016.