JAMES BOND SPINOFF MOVIE ANNOUNCED

BREAKING NEWS – Ending months of speculation, EON productions and Barbara Broccoli have confirmed a James Bond spinoff movie is set to go into production shortly. The James Bond spinoff movie will tell the story of ‘The Bottle Man’, the guy who witnesses various crazy James Bond stunts around the world in several Bond films. The Exec caught up with Barbara Broccoli to find out more on this surprising project.

Barbara, Why Did You Choose The Bottle Man As Your First Bond Spinoff?

We knew everyone would be expecting us to go with a female double-0 kinda vibe. So we thought it would be cool to go in a direction nobody would be expecting. There’s a whole raft of female led action movies out there now, with Black Widow, Atomic Blonde and the upcoming Furiosa thing. Therefore the market’s flooded. We thought let’s expand the JBU (James Bond Universe) in terms of genre. That’s when we came up with the idea of going with a character driven, arthouse picture. The Bottle Man is the perfect choice to explore what drives men to drink and become toxic assholes. No one’s done that before.

Can You Explain Who The Bottle Man Is?

He was a guy who briefly appeared double-taking when Bond emerges from the sea in his Lotus on The Spy Who Loved Me. He then did the same when Bond is in that fucking motorized Gondola during Moonraker. He also turns up during the ski and bike chase in For Your Eyes Only. This is a guy who spends his time on some pretty expensive holidays, but he’s always drinking. We wanted to explore what drives him to drink.

How Do You Intend To Do That?

We’re going to tell his stories leading up to and including those encounters. It’ll be a trilogy, one encounter for each movie. It’s like our version of Kieslowski’s Trois Couleurs Trilogy. Think Bond meets Bukowski and you can’t go far wrong.

Who Is Playing The Bottle Man?

Jean Dujardin. We figured he owes us after making a killing on those fucking OSS-117 movies. We couldn’t even Kevin McLory his ass in court. So we figured, if you can’t beat them, give them a shit ton of dough to do your own stuff. That fucker took the bait. No more OSS, that’s for sure.

The Bottle Man Part 1 Starts Filming In The New Year

ROGER MOORE WILL NOT RETURN AS JAMES BOND

LONDON – Roger Moore has definitively ruled out the possibility of his return as James Bond, when Daniel Craig finishes his current contract which will see him star in another two outings as 007.

‘I’m already too old,’ Sir Roger Moore quipped. ‘And in another three of four years time, I’ll be 87-88. Perhaps I could play his grandfather. Ha ha.’

I had no sooner started scribbling ‘Roger Moore confirmed as 007’s grandfather in new Bond film’ when Sir Roger’s hand gripped my wrist in a steely grip.

‘I was joking,’ hissed the no-longer twinkly septuagenarian. 

Although to be totally honest I have considered returning from time to time. I see what Daniel is doing, the running and the jumping, the having sex in the shower with women who have been abused since childhood, and I think, “I’d like a bit of that”, but then I notice he doesn’t ever seem to have time for a cigarette and when it comes down to it there’s not that much shagging.

So that’s a definite maybe?

No. Absolutely not.  

And what if Sean Connery…?

Then yes.

Moonraker 2 will be released in 2017.

MOONRAKER 2 GREEN LIT AFTER LONG DELAY

HOLLYWOOD – It’s the sequel everyone wanted but which was delayed for over three decades: Moonraker 2 is happening.

Made in 1979, the Science Fiction spy movie Moonraker was a commercial and critical success on its release and plans for a Moonraker 2 were quickly made.

A studio insider explains what happened next:

Everyone wanted to make number two but there were some problems. First of all no one really made sequels in the seventies. They weren’t considered viable financially and the head of the studio at the time wasn’t keen on the main character – James Bond. He wanted Roger Moore to be replaced by James Coburn. He kept yelling, ‘Who believes in an ass kicking limey?’ Next Jaws (Richard Kiel), who had been an unknown when he appeared in the film, was now super busy because everyone was mistaking him with the shark from the Spielberg film. It was an obvious mistake but his agent was ruthless and had him signed up before anyone realized the error.

A script had been written but it was shelved indefinitely.

It was a really pity. I thought that we could have done something with this character. I said it could have been a new Our Man Flint, but they wouldn’t have it. Roger went off to do other things and time passed. It was only because I was eating in a small restaurant on the Cote d’Azure that I just happened to bump into Roger. We got talking, and drank some wine and what do you know? We’re back in production.

What will the new film be like?

We’re not looking to reinvent the wheel here. It will have exactly what appealed so much about the original. And older man ogling some young beauties, some espionage, a glass shop getting smashed, a motorized gondola and a battle in space. I’m pitching it as Gravity meets Jason Bourne meets Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

Moonraker 2 will be released in 2017.