HOLLYWOOD – Demi Moore is world famous but what do we really know about ex Mrs Bruce Willis and ex Mrs Ashton Kutcher?
We sent the Studio Exec FACT Squad to find out more about Demi Moore and divorce you from the Ashton Kutchner of your stupidity.
1. She’s still alive.
2. Filming of Striptease and G.I. Jane overlapped and so Demi occasionally got flustered and shot people when she should have been taking her clothes off. And took her clothes off when she should have been killing people.
3. Demi Moore’s father Dudley Moore was made famous in his film Arthur, and she appears briefly in the film riding a horse. When Dudley gave Demi away at her first wedding he got drunk and peed in the avocado mousse.
4. Demi Moore’s marriage began as an elaborate attempt to punk’d Ashton Kutchner and it continued as an elaborate attempt to punk’d him and finished when it was revealed that it wasn’t a joke.
5. Bruce Willis first met Demi on the set of Moonlighting when she was playing Cybil Shepherd, the female detective. They shared a love of chess, but found they were incompatible when he insisted on occasionally singing to her. Also Demi Moore once had really bad gas. But instead of being ashamed of this she used her own predicament to publicize the issue at the United Nations by having herself photographed and full Zeppelin mode. Five seconds after this photo was taken, Demi let rip and blew out the windows of the studio.
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HOLLYWOOD – Awards front runner Barry Jenkins’ Moonlight came in for criticism for not casting the original Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis in the remake.
Moonlight is a beautiful film, but many have criticized the reboot of the 1980s romantic detective show for not including the original stars.
Moonlighting expert Bacala Simone told the Studio Exec:
Lots of people criticize Moonlight because of the changes of emphasis and tone. Instead of a detective agency, you have the streets of Miami. Instead of David and Maddy, you have a young black man struggling with his sexuality. They even changed the name from Moonlighting to the snappier Moonlight. But the complete absence of Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Why not have them in small role? It seemed insulting to the legacy.
Such are the differences in fact that many viewers don’t even know that the film is a remake of the popular TV show. Barry Jenkins explains:
That was actually intentional. We felt people were too tired of the reboots and remakes and so when we got the green light, we started quietly tossing out all the elements we could. Shifting emphasis.
What about Bruce and Cybill? Were they involved?
Actually yes. We gave them a scene in which they play their roles as David and Maddy doing some detective work in Little’s school. But when we watched the footage we all agreed that it was jarring. It will be included on the DVD extras though. Who knows? We might have a special Moonlighting edition come out.
Moonlight is currently on release.
NEW YORK – Woody Allen today revealed for the first time why Bruce Willis left his new movie, even though shooting had already begun with the actor.
When Bruce Willis left the new Woody Allen as yet untitled movie, rumors immediately began to fly as to the reason. The official explanation was that it was due to scheduling problems as Willis was due to appear on Broadway in an adaptation of the Stephen King novel Misery. However, Woody Allen popped in to the Studio Exec New York penthouse to dish the dirt.
So Woody, how come Bruce left the new picture?
Oh he isn’t funny. The man is not funny. I remember him being wonderful in Moonlighting, a real light touch but something must have happened and he just hasn’t got it anymore. I thought he was good in Moonrise Kingdom as well. So when I was directing him, I said “how come you’re not funny? And you were funny in Moonrise Kingdom and Moonlighting, so what is it?” and he told me that he was only funny if there was a moon in the title. So I decided right there and then to change the title of the movie from Blintzes Ahoy! to Moon, but then someone told me there was already a movie called that and then someone else, I think it was Alan Alda told me that I’d made a film recently called Magic in the Moonlight, so I changed the title back! And goodbye Bruce.
Jesus! How’d he take it?
He was angry but I got the feeling that he was relieved. Rumor is he doesn’t really like working that much anyway. Turned out that Sylvester Stallone had fired him from Expendables 3 and I think Bruce just isn’t that interested anymore.
Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart are still in the cast however and filming continues.
The Twilight Blintzes Network will be released in 2016.