BREAKING NEWS – In a shock announcement, the name of the MCU is to be changed to the Marvel Content Universe in order to reflect its corporate rollout strategy. We spoke with the Marvel Content Universe impresario, Kevin Feige to discuss this latest development.
Kevin, Why Have You Rebranded To The Marvel Content Universe?
We wanted to make sure our consumers are fully aligned with our product output and are always using the latest version of our operating systems. By which I mean they are fully subscribed to Disney+, following our Instagram and TikTok accounts. Oh and also watching our movies. I guess people wanna do that also. But mainly they’ll need to keep up with our shows that are currently streaming on Disney+. Disney, the home of Marvel.
Can Fans Keep Up With Phase 4 If They Haven’t Watched All Of The Shows?
Yes, yeah, sure absolutely. And by that, I mean no. They haven’t got a fucking chance of knowing what the hell is going on if they have haven’t seen all our shows and just expect to understand what the fuck Dr. Strange is doing now. I produced all this bullshit and I can hardly understand it all.
But Why Change From Cinematic To The Marvel Content Universe?
You have seen some of our recent movies, haven’t you? I mean, Jesus H Christ all our Phase 4 movies make the Iron Man trilogy look like Kieslowski’s Three Colors trilogy. Would you call The Eternals cinematic? Would you?
Um, Well, It had Pacing Issues.
Pacing issues? You’re being very kind, but we all know that was a turd. Just a big old steaming turd. Besides, we got a sweet deal going with Disney+. The more crap we release directly on Disney+, the greater the percentage of subscription receipts for little old me. I know Thor: Love and Thunder will make truckloads of cash, but the Taika bubble is about to burst. We rode that pony for as long as we could. Then what? A Moon Knight movie? Gimme a break. Oh my god, what have I done with my life?