HOLLYWOOD – The Lego Movie 2 is already in production, but Stephen King’s script has apparently leaked onto the internet.
Everyone loved The Lego Movie. But now you can read the script to The Lego Movie 2, written by Stephen King.
INT. BEDROOM. NIGHT.
A man and his wife are sleeping in bed. A soft THUMP is heard.
What’s that, honey?
Go back to sleep sweetheart, I’ll go and check it out.
The man gets out of bed. He looks at his slippers.
I guess I don’t really need to wear those.
He walks out of the bedroom and down the corridor to his son’s room.
INT. SON’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
The son turns over in his sleep. There are a pile of comic books on the bed and another one slides off the bed and lands with a THUMP. Tiptoeing, DAD crosses the room and moves the comic books to the shelves and then tucks his son in with a smile. Turning to return to his bedroom he…
CLOSE UP on barefoot:
…steps on a piece of Lego.
He SCREAMS in agony. And falls in slow motion. CUJO the LEGO dog leaps from the shadows and tears an arm off. LEGO Annie Wilkes chops his foot off at the ankle with a LEGO ax handed to her by LEGO Jack Torrance. The creepy LEGO twins stand blocking DAD’s path.
Come and play with us Daddy. Forever,
LEGO Pennywise lead the others in song.
Everything is terrifying,
Everything is terrifying
(when you’ve stepped on a LEGO).
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NEW YORK – Woody Allen today revealed for the first time why Bruce Willis left his new movie, even though shooting had already begun with the actor.
When Bruce Willis left the new Woody Allen as yet untitled movie, rumors immediately began to fly as to the reason. The official explanation was that it was due to scheduling problems as Willis was due to appear on Broadway in an adaptation of the Stephen King novel Misery. However, Woody Allen popped in to the Studio Exec New York penthouse to dish the dirt.
So Woody, how come Bruce left the new picture?
Oh he isn’t funny. The man is not funny. I remember him being wonderful in Moonlighting, a real light touch but something must have happened and he just hasn’t got it anymore. I thought he was good in Moonrise Kingdom as well. So when I was directing him, I said “how come you’re not funny? And you were funny in Moonrise Kingdom and Moonlighting, so what is it?” and he told me that he was only funny if there was a moon in the title. So I decided right there and then to change the title of the movie from Blintzes Ahoy! to Moon, but then someone told me there was already a movie called that and then someone else, I think it was Alan Alda told me that I’d made a film recently called Magic in the Moonlight, so I changed the title back! And goodbye Bruce.
Jesus! How’d he take it?
He was angry but I got the feeling that he was relieved. Rumor is he doesn’t really like working that much anyway. Turned out that Sylvester Stallone had fired him from Expendables 3 and I think Bruce just isn’t that interested anymore.
Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart are still in the cast however and filming continues.
The Twilight Blintzes Network will be released in 2016.