FIRST STAND ALONE MINIONS MOVIE GREEN LIT

HOLLYWOOD – The Despicable Me spin off Minions is itself getting a series of spin offs with the first ‘stand alone’ Minion film: We Need to Talk About Kevin.

The first Minions ‘stand alone’ film We Need to Talk about Kevin is due to be released early next year and will star Tilda Swinton and Kevin Spacey will voice Kevin the Minion.

Director Pierre Coffin described the concept EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec earlier this week:

It’s very simple. Throughout the two Despicable Me films and then with Minions, we have observed as a creative team how the characters of the individual Minions have emerged. At first they were just this mass of yellow raspberry blowers and the joke was they were all pretty much the same. But then it became apparent that they each had individual characters and once we noticed that we decided we wanted to really explore those characters. We wanted to show the world that these little guys had feelings and problems and the ‘stand alone’ movies will do that in the way the Star Wars movies are doing it. We are expanding the Minions universe.

Tell us about the first film.

We Need to Talk About Kevin is an origin story. We think we’ve gone far enough with the humor that has kept the films very jolly and fun. Now we wanted to do something dark. I was really influenced by Christopher Nolan and Batman Begins when I did this. So Kevin (Kevin Spacey) is a young minion  who simply won’t fit in. He has a very hard time relating to his mother, played by the wonderful Tilda Swinton, and he has an allergy to all food that isn’t bananas or ice-cream.  There’s a kind of Columbine subplot as well.

Sorry, a what?

It is dark. The idea is that Kevin is planning something terrible, but it is only when he latches on to his true identity that things begins to go better and I think people will watch this film and then hopefully go back and watch Despicable Me 1 and they’ll see it in a totally new light.

We Need to Talk about Kevin will be released in 2016. 

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DONALD TRUMP HIRES NEW ADVISORS

NEW YORK – Billionaire, TV Reality star, mogul and now Presidential candidate for the Republican Party, Donald Trump today announced that he has hired a new set of political advisers to correct the course of his fledgling campaign.

Donald Trump published a statement from Trump Tower, welcoming his new collaborators and predicting great things:

I firmly believe in the role of greatness in America. Eisenhower had it; I have it and perhaps Tom Clancy had it. Now however our country, which is in danger of tipping up with the weight of Mexican rapists entering from the South, has become a country of the small minded and the fearful. Having utterly misunderstood the message I tried to convey I have hired a new team of political advisers, whose role it will be to make sure that message is heard by as many people as possible and that dissenting voices are not allowed to besmirched its purity with criticism of any kind whatsoever. I have seen their work in two films, including one where they really held their own without the lead character.

Although Donald Trump is currently high among the ranks of Republican hopefuls, currently placed second, his candidature is seen by many as a political disaster waiting to happen for the GOP. Several business and media partners have withdrawn from collaborations as a direct response to some of his more inflammatory rhetoric. Political commentator Horse Stephenson believes however that Donald J. Trump is far from being a cartoon candidate.

Not at all. Any who think he’s a joke should remember how many thought that old ham of an actor Ronald Reagan didn’t stand a chance when he stood. The Republican Party has a hankering for forceful leadership and business based celebrity. And his new team are a crack bunch of analysts and advisers. They have also proven their worth in distracting the public’s attention both from what comes out of Mr. Trump’s mouth and what is on the top of Mr. Trump’s head.

The US Presidential elections are not until after Star Wars 8.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

UN DEPLOY MINIONS TO UKRAINE

KIEV – In an attempt to resolve the violent political strife currently assailing Ukraine, the UN in New York voted a resolution to deploy the Minions made famous by their appearance in Despicable Me and the significantly better Despicable Me 2.

The General Secretary of the UN, Ban Ki-moon said that the Minions would be on a peace keeping mission which sought to diffuse the violence and provide a road map for a peaceful resolution to the internal conflict which has cost over hundred lives. 

Many questioned my judgement when I gave the Minions ambassadorial status last year, but now I think their worth will become obvious to everyone. They will be inserted between the forces of the police and military and the protesters who have occupied the squares.

Won’t there be an element of risk? What happens when the first Minion is brought home in a body bag?

Okay. Number one, they’re practically indestructible. We’ve tested them. You can’t burn them, drown them or blow them up. They’re impervious to bullet fire and gas. Number two, they’re just so damned cute. Who in their right mind will be able to resist them and their singing nonsense words and occasionally shouting ‘banana’. I mean, really? Three, they’re really cheap. 

Despicable Me 3: Blood Diamonds will be released in 2015.