MILEY CYRUS TO WRITE, DIRECT AND STAR IN CRIES AND WHISPERS REMAKE

MALIBU – Miley Cyrus – former child star and pop sensation Hannah Montana – is taking a further step to artistic maturity and critical acceptance by remaking the Ingmar Bergman classic of female suffering Cries and Whispers, which she will be writing and directing as well as appearing in.

The original is set in turn of the century Sweden and tells the stories of Karin (Ingrid Thulin) and Maria (Liv Ullman), two sisters coming to terms with the imminent death by cancer of their third sibling Agnes (Harriet Andersson). 
Miley Cyrus, speaking exclusively to Studio Exec, revealed that there are going to be some changes in the remake.

Obviously I want to keep the spirit of the original. A meditation on suffering and death, and specifically of how women address these deep philosophical questions. But it can’t be Sweden, so I changed that to Malibu and made it contemporary. 

And you’ll be playing the role of…?

Right. I’m Karin and Selena Gomez is going to be Maria and Vanessa Hudgens is going to be the gal dying of cancer. Though I’ll probably make it something else because cancer’s so the noughties if you know what I mean. Maybe she can get a head injury after a jet ski incident.  

What attracted you to the project?

Oh, the themes. Definitely the themes. And I’m a big Bergman fan. My pappy, got me into Bergman in a big way. I like Godard, and he said to me one day, “Girl, you gotta get some Bergman in you!” I watched the Virgin Spring and I never looked back.

Do you think people will take you more seriously?

I sure as hell hope so, though at the same time I don’t want to lose my fans, who’ve stood by me through thick and thin. So I won’t just be  slavishly copying Bergman. I’m going to do a lighter Miley version of the film. So everyone can enjoy it. For example the title is a bit miserable so I’ve come up with a version I think the master would be proud of.

Shits and Giggles will be released in 2022. 

SNEAK PEEK: MILEY CYRUS AND WOODY ALLEN COLLABORATION

NEW YORK – Miley Cyrus and Woody Allen’s new show has only just begun filming but we have managed to sneak a peek of a still from the show, tentatively titled When Woody Met Miley.

Miley Cyrus and Woody Allen came in to the Studio Exec brown stone to talk about their new project.

How did you first get involved with the project?

Miley Cyrus: I’ve worked in television for years and it has always been a medium I’m very comfortable with. My recording career is going well and I think the time has come to maybe go back and see what I can do. The time has come I think.

Woody Allen: I’m very excited. I mean I’ve always been a fan of Ms. Cyrus’ work since back when she was Hannah Montana. I mean I never missed an episode. As a matter of fact I would tape them and watch them over and over again. I think some of the tapes got worn out and I thought ‘Oh my God if I ever get a chance of working with this angel, I’d just leap at it’ and so when Amazon offered me a choice in casting I told them Miley Cyrus and oh, Elaine May.

What will the show be about?

Miley Cyrus: This is what I was so psyched about. I mean it’s no secret that the Hannah Montana image has been something of an albatross, as grateful as I am for the boost it gave my career at the start. I talked to Woody and I know he’s an artist and we can do something really original and different from that.

Woody Allen: I’ve already written the whole series. There are six half hour episodes and Miley is going to play Hannah Montana, a pop star who has become really famous, but she maintains her private life by taking on a different persona, that of Miley Stewart.

Miley: Woody, that’s the plot of Hannah Montana!

Woody: Yes you see I started writing it as a kind of fan fiction I suppose. My God, I’ve written reams of the stuff. Most of it involves Miley falling into swimming pools with her clothes on, or having a paint fight with her friends. And I play her boyfriend…

Miley: Whoa! What?

Woody: … and everyone is saying he’s too old for her. And it’s actually very funny. Though we do make some serious points about the age gap and the differences between generations. You remember Manhattan? It’s kind of like that but instead of Mariel Hemingway there’s Miley and food fights, and I come in and say ‘You’re having a pajama party!? At this hour!?’ And there’s lots of confusion. Larry David begged me to play the role and I said ‘I’m too old’ and he said I wasn’t so here I am.

When Woody Met Miley will be out on Amazon in the Summer.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

MILEY CYRUS TO PLAY ANNE FRANK

HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus is to play Jewish teenager Anne Frank in new Brett Ratner biopic She’s in the Attic.

VMAs host and Bangerz star Miley Cyrus has signed on to play Jewish teenager and diary writer Anne Frank in a new film to be directed by the man who brought us Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2. The film, provisionally entitled She’s in the Attic, is set to begin shooting next month and is based on the diaries of the young Jewish girl Anne Frank (Miley Cyrus) who hid from the Nazis with her family before finally being captured and sent to the Bergen-Belsen Concentration Camp where she tragically died.

‘I didn’t know who she was at first,’ said the former Hannah Montana. ‘Until I heard that she was a Belieber and then I thought, wow, how ahead of her time. I mean really. This girl I have to find out about. I read a lot about her and if you think about it she’s like an early Kardashian. You know how intimately we feel we know her if you like.’

Brett Ratner said that his project was absolutely sensitive to the issues surrounding the tragic life of the young girl:

This is a gonna be tasteful. We are artists paying homage to a young girl and the songs are totally justified in the context of the story. This is like Schindler’s List meets High School Musical. And Glee. Classy. Right?

It’s going to be a musical?

Yes absolutely. We are hoping to incorporate some of Miley’s songs into the film, although we’ll obviously modify the lyrics a little bit. Instead of ‘You hit me like a wrecking ball’, which doesn’t make much sense given the context, Miley will sing ‘I keep staring at this f*cking wall’. And of course ‘Best of Both Worlds’ will be changed to the ‘Worst of All Worlds’.

How are you going to deal with the differences in age?

I don’t foresee that being a problem. We’re getting the same guy who did Brad Pitt in the Curious Case of Benjamin Button to come in and kind of shrink Miley down. It’ll be fine.

Jewish groups and the Anne Frank Foundation have reacted with anger and disgust at the proposed film treatment. ‘First Justin Bieber and then this,’ said an exasperated Per Jankins. ‘This is getting too much.’

She’s in the Attic opens in the Fall of 2016.

 

THE HEMSWORTHS TO FIGHT THE BALDWINS

HOLLYWOOD – In what is being tipped as the biggest family-based Hollywood celebrity rumble since the Carradines took on the Quaids, the Hemsworth brothers and the Baldwin gang are to thrash it out down by the railway tracks at half past ten tonight (no knives).

In what is set to look like some weird generation mismatch from The Outsiders, Luke, Liam and Chris Hemswoth will take on Alec, Daniel, William and Stephen Baldwin. ‘We’re going to kick seven shades of sh*t out of those assholes,’ said the usually very polite Luke, who for some reason seemed to be upset about something. ‘Chris is bringing his hammer.’

Alec Baldwin spoke for his family:

What we are looking forward to

The Hemsworths have been riding us for months. “Move out the way old men! Hey d’ya drop ya teeth?” Well, I’m in the mood to dropkick them into next Thursday. Stephen’s given up Christianity especially so he can gouge eyes out and not feel bad. And are there going to be inappropriate and inexplicable racial epithets flying? You bet.

The match will be refereed by the Armie Hammer twins and is being televised on Netflix.


Tweet about it using the hash tag #ChrisLukeLiamHemsworthvsAlecWilliamDanielStephenBaldwinrumble2015.

THE KANYE WEST WING FIRST LOOK

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner had Kanye West at the MTV VMAs declared his candidacy for Commander in Chief, the President of the United States of America, than the poster for his new TV show The Kanye West Wing was released onto the internets.

Kanye West’s reboot of the NBC drama series The West Wing which ran from 1999-2006 and starred Martin Sheen as President Jed Bartlett is coming soon, retitled “The Kanye West Wing”.

The official NBC synopsis reads:

 

VMA Vanguard honoree Kanye West takes on the role of the First Black President Kanye West, who with his Chief of Staff Pharell Williams, tries to steer his top team of political advisors through numerous crises domestic and foreign. Secretary of State Miley Cyrus is good at her job, provocative and original, but her toxic relationship with Nikki Minaj (Secretary of Defence) and her jealousy of the first lady Kim Kardashian is proving too destabilizing. Can Kanye bring peace to the Middle East? Can Kanye cut the National Debt and cut unemployment? Yes he Kanye!

Initially Aaron Sorkin was hired to write the show, but Kanye and Sorkin fell out, with Kanye complaining:

He can’t write how I speak. No one can write how I speak. The only person who understands the words coming out of my mouth is me! So that’s who is going to do the writing and everything. Me!

 

Star-packed and full of great musical numbers The Kanye West Wing looks like being the best thing to watch until 2020 when we will get the real thing.

The Kanye West Wing will be broadcast this Fall.

mage courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

CAREY MULLIGAN TO PLAY WOLVERINE

HOLLYWOOD – News from the X-Men universe has it that Carey Mulligan is to play the new Wolverine in X-Men: Apocalypse.

The 30 year old actress famed for her roles in An Education, Drive and The Great Gatsby will be taking over from Hugh Jackman, who has played James Howlett AKA Rogan AKA Wolverine for fifteen years, including 5 X-Men films and two stand alone Wolverine movies. A third Wolverine movie due out in 2017 and was rumored to be Jackman’s last appearance in the role but it looks now as if Carey Mulligan will be taking over.

A spokesperson for Fox told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It is a sad fact that Hugh Jackman following a whole bunch of films – seven in total – will finally be hanging up his titanium claws, but we’re really excited to have found a replacement who will bring Wolverine to a whole new audience. Carey has that fresh faced exuberance and that lovely shy vulnerability that is there in the comic books and that Hugh, despite all his best efforts, singularly failed to bring to the screen.

Fox is hoping to change several of the main characters in a bid to compete with Marvel’s Avengers series and casting rumors have been rife. Ariana Grande is currently in talks to play a new version of Professor Xavier and Miley Cyrus looks like a possible Nightcrawler.

Mulligan herself said that she was ‘excited by the opportunity but also a little nervous of having to go up against Hugh’s super portrayal.’ She has already begun smoking cigars to prepare for the role and is due to have the surgery which will see her adamantium skeleton implanted.

How does she feel about having six inch razor sharp claws protruding from her knuckles?

‘Well, I’ll never be lost for a pair of scissors again!’ says the delightful Mulligan.

X-Men Apocalypse will be released in 2016 and Wolverine: Donkey Heaven will be out the following year. 

BELA TARR TO DIRECT MTV’S VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS

HOLLYWOOD – Famed Hungarian film director Bela Tarr will be directing the MTV Video Music Awards at the end of August.

The director of The Werkmeister Harmonies and The Turin Horse Bela Tarr was chosen personally by presenter Miley Cyrus to bring quality to the MTV Video Music Awards ceremony.

Miley Cyrus spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I’ve always liked working with challenging artists. Terry Richardson, Pharrell Williams, Billy Ray Cyrus! And now I get the opportunity to work with one of the best. I’ve loved Bela Tarr’s work ever since Santanango. It was a film that spoke to me the way no other 6 hour epic about life in a small Hungarian village has.

Bela Tarr himself was effusive about the opportunity:

I love music and I have always thought that music videos came as a kind of inspiration to me as an artist. That one that Dire Straits did for Money for Nothing? Amazing! Anything by Rihanna.

How will you approach the awards?

The whole thing I’m filming in austere black and white. I will have a narration in Hungarian (naturally) quoting Rilke, Nietzsche and Kierkegaard. The whole show will be one uninterrupted take.

What about commercial breaks?

UNINTERRUPTED I said! There will be no commercial breaks because there are no commercial breaks in life. At the end the audience will have the impression that they have just watched God die of some disease that involves a lot of coughing.

The MTV Video Music Awards will be broadcast later this month.  

MILEY CYRUS SINGS BOND SONG FOR SPECTRE

HOLLYWOOD – Pop star, VMA host and general hard twerker Miley Cyrus is to perform the theme song for the 24th Bond film Spectre, starring Daniel Craig.

Entitled You Didn’t Ex-SPECTRE, the music is by Thomas Newman who is also scoring the picture and the lyrics are by Miley Cyrus herself. It is the first Bond song she has done though she has been covering Octopussy in her live shows, even though there was never actually a song called Octopussy.

James Bond expert Michael Stevens told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

This is a great choice. Miley is young and fresh and controversial. She will bring a whole new demographic to the James Bond universe and her iconoclastic gutsy attitude chimes perfectly with 007.

The video, which is currently being shot, is to be directed by Joseph Kahn and will feature the main members of the Spectre cast – Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Monica Belucci and Ralph Fiennes – twerking with the former Hannah Montana.

Spectre will be released in October and Don’t Ex-SPECTRE should be released in the coming weeks.

 

MILEY CYRUS CONFIRMS BABE 3

HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus has confirmed that she will be appearing in the new George Miller film Babe 3, sources close to the singer declared.

The new cover shot of the naked singer that recently graced the cover of Paper was actually an on set photograph snapped during filming with Miley Cyrus and her co-star Truffles.

The film’s director – and close friend to the Studio Exec – George Miller spoke EXCLUSIVELY about the project:

First I get a chance to revisit the universe of Mad Max with my wonderful Mad Max Fury Road. I won’t deny it, this has emboldened me. I’ve had a script ready for Babe 3 sitting in the drawer for some time, but after Babe 2 I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance. Then Miley contacted me and she told me she loved the Babe films and would she have anything for me. I sent her over the script and we sealed the deal soon after. She is a very talented young actress and Truffles is a wonder.

What happens in the movie?

Well, essentially we had Babe in the country and then Babe in the City and now I want to do Babe at Sea. Babe and his friend Hannah are on a cruise when the ship they’re travelling on is hit by a tidal wave and sinks. Hannah and her pig have to survive in a lifeboat and no clothes. Luckily they find some nipple pasties.

Will Miley sing?

Ha! We had that conversation. I said she didn’t have to wear any clothes and she agreed not to sing. We were both as happy as a pig…. in a film.

The Life of Pig will be released in 2017.

NEW HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE, MILEY CYRUS CONFIRMS

HOLLYWOOD – Rumors of her death have been much exaggerated, as Miley Cyrus revealed that she is to resurrect the character who made her famous – pop alter ego Hannah Montana – in a new film for Disney: Wrecking Ball.

Miley Cyrus dropped in to the Studio Exec bungalow to talk exclusively about her relationship to Hannah Montana and the new movie, the poster for which was revealed today:

I guess I was really mad at Hannah Montana for a long time. She was the pop princess and Miley was just me, the ordinary girl trying to live an ordinary life away from the fame and the super stardom. So when it came time to express my own voice and sexuality I wanted to bury Hannah as deep as I could. Have done with her and all the shenanigans once and for all.

So what changed?

Well, a few months ago, I just began to feel like I missed Hannah. There are only so many middle aged men you can twerk with and only so many huge inflatable phallic hotdogs you can bronco ride on before you begin to find it hard to look at yourself in the mirror. I kind of missed that innocence I had with Hannah and I wanted it back.

So what’s the story of the new film?

Of course as the novelist Thomas Wolfe once said, you can never go home again. So it wasn’t as if we were just going to make another Hannah Montana: the Movie. I’ve changed, my audience has changed and so it’s only right that Hannah has changed as well. Wrecking Ball will see Hannah flipped around. Now Miley Cyrus/Stewart is the famous one. The girl who has given herself over to self-exploitation, over-exposure and a weird coquetry and sex inspired madness which almost destroys the very concept of sexiness itself.

My thoughts precisely.

She decides to take a break and escape some Yakuza as well, who have been hard on her trail. Lilly (Emily Osment) and Jackson (Jason Earles) and my pop help her by creating a Hannah Montana tribute act, and that’s my new alter ego. I basically going around pretending to be a look-alike Hannah Montana and at the same time ween myself away from the world of excess to whence I have been precipitated by my massive success. As part of my disguise I also get an ordinary gal job on a construction site – a bit like Jennifer Beales being a welder in Flashdance – and here I have to face day-to-day problems of sexism and I grow as a person.

Ah so you literally operate…

A wrecking ball yes. And we do the number in a very literal way.

Hannah Montana: Wrecking Ball will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

BRETT RATNER TO DIRECT TWIN PEAKS

HOLLYWOOD – No sooner had David Lynch tweeted he would not be directing the Showtime revival of Twin Peaks than his replacement, Rush Hour 2 director Brett Ratner, was immediately announced by the proud network.

The planning for the new Twin Peaks show is already in place with the scripts finished and casting almost complete, but protracted negotiations over budgeting saw an unhappy David Lynch leave the process, tweeting his farewell. Initial reaction was overwhelmingly negative with fans expressing widespread dismay, but that turned to joy when news leaked that Brett Ratner – director of Tower Heist and Hercules – would be stepping in.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, Ratner stated:

I have always been a huge fan of Twin Peaks. I have an encyclopedic knowledge of the show. When I was a kid I would dream of the show and I’d write stories about my favorite characters, especially J.R. and Sue Ellen.

What do you think you will do differently from the original?

The important thing is to bring out a balance between respecting what made the original series great, mainly the adultery, and what modern audiences want to see now: Ben Stiller and Kung Fu based comedies with motor mouth black comedians. I’m committed to getting rid of the off-beat element of the show – I mean all that Bobby coming back in the shower bit for instance didn’t work for me – in order to get to the core emotions of the characters.

Will Agent Cooper still play a prominent role?

My agent’s name is Carl. Uhm and yeah.

What about the rumors that Miley Cyrus has been cast?

Come on. We want to leave some surprises intact.

Well at least we can be sure of some damned fine coffee.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

For more Twin Peaks News CLICK HERE.

HATEFUL EIGHT: ON SET REPORT

COLORADO – Quentin Tarantino’s new Western The Hateful Eight began filming this week in Telluride and the Studio Exec was invited EXCLUSIVELY to witness proceedings by QT himself.

It is cold in Colorado this time of year and snowy, but Quentin Tarantino is wearing his trade mark Hawaiian shirt and his motor mouth is going at 180 rpm.

Hey, SE do you know that Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball is about a guy with a big dick. ‘You wre-e-eck me!’ You see? Jesus it’s just no fun no more. It’s so obvious.

The first shot involves Samuel L. Jackson and Channing Tatum, along with Mike Myers, Jan Michel Vincent, Mickey Rourke, Kevin James and Renee Zellwegger getting out of a stagecoach. It takes about two hours to shoot. During lunch I ask QT about the gestation of the film.

Well, I was really upset when the script leaked so I totally rewrote it. This one would never leak on the internet I decided (read the revised Hateful Eight script HERE). The first idea I had was not to make the film at all but do it, I mean perform it as a dance, but I talked it over with Harvey Keitel and he told me he thought it was – and I quote –  a ‘f*cking awful idea’. So I settled on making a film.

With Django Unchained you were obviously very influenced by the Spaghetti westerns. Do they continue to be an influence?

No, I want to do something else, something more purely American. So I just watched Bonanza over and over again and that became my key text. The only reason I haven’t mentioned it in interviews before is because of the plagiarism fuss, what with Spiderbaby and everything. So actually if you don’t mind not mentioning it.

Absolutely. And your casting choices? You’re using Kevin James I see.

Yeah Kevin is one of the most natural comic talents we’ve got . He’s like our Belushi, but a postmodern Belushi. Like if you had Belushi but he wasn’t funny, or charismatic. That’d basically be Kevin.

Will he be funny in this role?

Absolutely not.

And with that Quentin is called away to film the next set up: a gunfight between Joaquin Phoenix and Benedict Cumberbatch’s agent.

The Hateful Eight will be in cinemas in 2015.

 

MILEY CYRUS HIT BY WRECKING BALL

HOLLYWOOD – Tragic news coming in that Miley Cyrus – actress, pop star, tongue activist – has been hit and killed by a wrecking ball in an incident police are calling ‘both funny and sad’.

The singer was walking with her entourage close by a construction site in West Hollywood when the a chain broke on the operating machinery and the wrecking ball swung out of control, hitting the former Hannah Montana and carrying her aloft and leaving her ‘in a blazing fall’. Cyrus was taken directly to Cedars Sinai where doctors worked desperately.

A spokesperson for the hospital told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The injuries sustained were massive and death was inevitable. Let this be a lesson to young people everywhere. It is one thing to be hit like a wrecking ball and a totally different thing to be hit by a wrecking ball. The latter will truly wreck you.

Police have dismissed the notion that the wrecking ball incident was intentional:

This was a mechanical failure pure and simple. The operator is in a state of extreme distress. He has very little memory of the incident, saying he just closed his eyes and swung. He didn’t mean to start a war. The rest of it is just the song, he was just singing. I think he was in shock.

Pharrell Williams, who was walking with the singer just inches away at the moment of the incident said that he was ‘not happy’. It is understood he is in the studio working on a tribute song to Cyrus based on her hit ‘Wrecking Ball’ but with some lyrical adjustment.

Pharrell Williams’ latest single Unhappy will be released later today.

THE JUDGE: REVIEW

Tony Stark – a hot-shot immoral defense lawyer – returns to Indiana for his mother’s funeral and meets up with his Days of Thunder consigliere father Col. Kilgore, a cantankerous judge who soon finds himself on the wrong side of the law.

Will his estranged son defend him? Will their relationship be restored? Will they perhaps go fishing the way Tony Stark wants to? This is like August: Osage County meets that Hannah Montana movie where the big city gal rediscovers the joy of homeliness – and spices it up with some illicit ‘urban’ beats. Good Christ but it’s wretched. And Tony Stark is appalling. Everything in the movie services him. An encounter with some barroom thugs, sweet talking his old school girlfriend, the yokel lawyer’s incompetence are all staged to allow Downey a moment of verbal dexterity and a series of twitchy, ironic, winky and eminently punchable reaction shots. (Sidebar: his father has been a judge in these parts for forty years, is a pillar of the community and he doesn’t know a lawyer better than a part-time puker?) He even has a ‘Holy Fool’ brother who walks around with a camera all the time, allowing Downey to be patient and loving with him in contrast to his older sibling and thereby winning more audience points.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I contend that Iron Man did not kill Robert Downey Jr. Nor Sherlock Holmes who is basically Iron Man in a fusty accent and a frock coat. Downey Jr – the actor – died the moment he discovered that he could get away with being likeable. His likeability means there’s no real edge to his smarmy bastard act. Everyone in the film keeps telling him what he’s like – ‘You really are a bastard’, ‘You hate bullies, but you are one’ etc. – because his performance doesn’t do it. Look at Paul Newman in The Verdict. Now there’s a Hollywood star who was unafraid of playing moral corruption like it meant something. And likewise earning the redemption rather than it just being a predictable plot point you can spot from the Warner Bros logo.

Objection! Robert Duvall is excellent.

Sustained. But he’s been an excellent character actor from Boo Radley on. That’s a given. It’s the film that stands accused, letting him down and Billy Bob Thornton and Vera Farmiga and Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, and it must also answer for its obnoxiously wrong tone, switching from mawkish sentimentality to folksy comedy in a way I’d call cynical, but cynicism implies some facility. The small town America it shows is the kind Hollywood excels at. Driving into town, Downey Jr spots a boy and his father loading fishing supplies onto their pick up. ‘Nothing changes,’ he hisses venomously, before getting all snarky about someone waving at him. I bet the Wi-Fi reception isn’t up to snuff either.

So I find The Judge guilty. Guilty of wasting talent. Three counts of using a folksy acoustic soundtrack, like an old Jack Daniels advert. Guilty of pretending to be the proper Oscar worthy movie for me that justifies the cash grab of Iron Man. And most guilty – and this is truly unforgivable – of a scene in which the main character recaptures his youth by riding a bicycle no-handed wearing a faded Metallica t-shirt.

Take them away.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.