KYLE CHANDLER SAYS NO TO FRIENDS REUNION

NEW YORK – Actor Kyle Chandler today gave an unambiguous no to the idea of a Friends reunion, making it now highly unlikely.

‘I’ll be there for you’ sang the famous theme tune to the hit 90s sitcom Friends, but star Kyle Chandler today announced that he would not be joining a reunion of those Friends any time soon. Chandler, who has been racking up an impressive CV with roles in The Wolf of Wall Street, Carol and the TV show Bloodline, was speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec at the Studio Exec New York penthouse offices/Denny’s in Manhattan.

Are you going to take part in the Friends reunion?

Friends? Are they having a reunion? Wow. But no, I don’t think I’d be involved. I mean, no one has even said anything. I haven’t heard anything from my agent so, I guess no would be the answer. What a strange question though!

But it won’t be the same without you. 

I’m flattered you should think so but I was never in Friends. I did do a lot of TV in the 90s, but alas never friends. I wish. You know those guys got paid pretty coin.

So this torpedoes the Friends reunion. How will Joey and Doug get along without Chandler?

Oh, wait. I think you’re confused. Chandler Bing was the character. My name’s Kyle Chandler. But ha! No relation.

The rest of the cast reacted with dismay, especially Matthew Perry who said that Chandler’s refusal was a ‘deal breaker’ and Courtney Cox openly wept on learning the news.

‘What am I going to do now?’ she said.

Kyle Chandler will not be seen in Friends in 2016.

STAR WARS 7 WILL FEATURE ORIGINAL FRIENDS CAST

LONDON – The first photograph of the new Star Wars: Episode 7 cast had several surprises in store, but perhaps no surprise greater than the inclusion of the entire cast from Friends: Matt LeBlanc, Jennifer Aniston, Matthew Perry, Courtney Cox, David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

The cast alongside writer Lawrence Kasdan and director J.J. Abrams met for the first time in an IKEA warehouse outside London. Abrams said:

When I was growing up Star Wars was my inspiration, my pole star if you like. But in the 90s when I came of age so to speak, then it was Friends and the doings at the Central Perk that really informed me culturally. So we got talking with Kathleen [Kennedy] and I said why don’t we combine the two? Star Wars – the original films not the prequels – always had that vibe anyway. That ‘I’ll be there for you’ feeling if you like.

The photograph features from J.J. Abrams and working clockwise: Matthew Perry, Courtney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Peter Mayhew, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow, Ben Kingsley, Max Von Sydow, Anthony Daniels, Mark Hamill, Gollum, Llewyn Davis, John Boyega, David Schwimmer and Lawrence Kasdan. R2-D2 can also be seen in a restraining box.

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