THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE TO BE A REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – The Angry Birds movie is going to be based on a classic Hollywood thriller, Cormac McCarthy revealed today.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, Cormac McCarthy was more forthcoming about the details of the new Angry Birds movie and the fonts of inspiration.

 I had already written an Angry Birds script as a struggling novelist in the 1970s but no one knew what Angry Birds was. It took someone to actually invent the game for cell phones before people began to warm to the idea.  It is no secret that I have always been a huge Alfred Hitchcock fan and when Brian dePalma got in in touch I thought this would be a perfect fit. I mean only dePalma can give you that Alfred Hitchcock feeling that you need when you want to make a Hitchcocky film, but Hitchcock is you know, dead. The only question was which film to do.

What did you decide on?

Well, what you have to do is find a film that has a lot of Angry Birds in. We wracked our brains as you can imagine. Was there an Angry Bird in Rope? Dial M for Murder? I can’t remember. There were lots of dead birds in Psycho so that was a promising idea for a draft or two. I mean, Norman Bates is stuffing birds and those birds are not happy.

But surely…

I know what you’re thinking. North by North West!

No, I wasn’t.

We’re all thinking about that very closely, but then all of a sudden Martin Scorsese write me an email suggesting this obscure little known Hitchcock made called The Bards. I couldn’t even find it on IMDb but then it turned out that Scorsese had mistyped the title and it was The Birds. So now we had our idea and the script came so easy. Well, to be honest, I photocopied it.

The Angry Birds will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

SCORSESE TITLE REVIEW

NEW YORK – Martin Scorsese’s new film The Wolf of Wall Street has caused huge controversy partly for it’s use of the phrase ‘cerebral palsy’, partly for its explicit scenes of sex and drug use, but mostly because the film does not feature ‘an actual wolf’.

‘I went to see a film about a wolf, possibly killing people in the financial capital of our country, perhaps not, but a wolf,’ said theater-goer Blan Haverstock. ‘And what do I get? Some bullshit about Leo DiCarpio.’

The New Yorker review of the movie had as its headline ‘Crying Wolf?’

However, Scorsese defended himself from his critics:

Usually, I am scrupulous with my titles, making sure they advertise exactly what happens in the movie. But sometimes I use a slightly more oblique approach. So no, there isn’t a wolf in Wall Street. Not as in the actual animal. It’s a metaphor or an analogy, or a simile. It’s one of those.

To help the confused here is a brief guide to the veracity of Martin Scorsese’s movie titles.

  • Mean Streets:  The streets are quite mean. 

Veracity score 8/10

  • Alice Doesn’t Live Here Any More: Alice does move but where is here? 

Veracity score 7/10

  • Taxi Driver: It is about a taxi driver.

Veracity score 10/10

  • Raging Bull: There’s no bull, just a boxer 

Veracity score 2/10

  • The King of Comedy: He isn’t funny 

Veracity score 1/10

  • Goodfellas: They’re actually Bad Fellas 

Veracity score 1/10

  • Casino: It is set in a Casino 

Veracity score 10/10

  • Kundun: Haven’t got a clue 

Veracity score ?/10

  • The Aviator: Partially true, he’s also a  nut plank 

Veracity score 4/10

  • The Departed: No one leaves for anywhere 

Veracity score 3/10

  • Shutter Island: Set on Shutter Island 

Veracity score 10/10

  • The Wolf of Wall Street: No wolf confirmed (though there is a monkey) but no wolf

Veracity score 2/10. 

 
The Wolf of Wall Street is in Theaters.