NORTH BY NORTHWEST REMAKE GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – Hot on the tails of the To Catch A Thief remake announcement, Hollywood once again proves you can’t have too much of a good thing. Paramount Studios have announced the creation of the Hitchcock Extended Universe. The next film will be a North By Northwest remake to star Ryan Reynolds and Amy Schumer. The Exec spoke with Denise Fahrtknocker, Head of PR at Paramount about the North By Northwest remake.

Denise, What Gave You The Idea To Remake Such Beloved Classics?

Money. We were sat around in our gold-lined giant hot tub in Malibu worrying that we didn’t have enough cash because it’ll be months before Tom shits out another Mission Impossible. It was then after several Martinis and lines of coke that the idea hit me. Hitchcock! We can cash in on Hitchcock.

Aren’t You Worried A North By Northwest Remake Has Little Artistic Value?

Artistic what? You talk real funny for someone who’s so fucking poor. Did you know that? Look, we don’t need artistic-whatever-the-fuck-you-said, because we got a great cast. They’re so talented and committed to the project, we think they’re going to surprise a lot of nay-sayers out there.

Who Are They?

Ryan Reynolds and Amy Schumer, that’s who. Ryan will be playing the Cary Grant role and Amy will play the Eva Marie Saint role. Sounds like dynamite, don’t it?

Who Will Play The Villains?

I’m glad you asked me that. We got Jesse Plemons in the Martin Landau role, because he’s kinda funny looking in his own way. And we got Alan Rickman playing the James Mason role. Who could be better to give us that mid-Atlantic, villainous charm? Nobody, that’s who.

But Alan Rickman Is Dead.

Yeah? Ok, fuck-it. We’ll get Gary Oldman. He’ll play any old villain as long as there’s enough green to be had. Who gives a shit.

The North By Northwest Remake Goes Into Production Shortly

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE TV SHOW CAST CONFIRMED

HOLLYWOOD – The spin off TV show to Tom Cruise’s popular Mission: Impossible franchise came closer to reality today with the first picture of the assembled cast.

Peter Graves, Greg Morris, Peter Lupus, Barbara Bain and Leonard Nimoy are all confirmed to star in the new Mission: Impossible TV show, which producers are hoping will cash in on the success of Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation. The show has been planned for many years, but has run into difficulties casting the team.

Executive producer Tom Cruise spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec:

The idea of the show was easy. The very structure of the films lends itself to an hour long episodic TV format. I mean it fits like a glove really. The only problem was getting the team together so to speak. First Martin Landau dropped out and then Lesley Ann Warren and Lynda Dey George were circling the same role, before Barbara finally said yes. We’ve got Lalo Schifrin to come up with a variation on the movie’s theme music. Let’s see what he comes up with.

The movie franchise began with the 1996 Brian DePalma directed action film starring Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt. ‘It was so original,’ says Cruise:

I said to Brian at the time, how the hell did you come up with such an original idea? And he just grinned, you know the way Brian does and so we left it at that. But it really launched the second half of my career and gave me freedom to do all those other projects.

The series has included entries directed by the likes of John Woo, JJ Abrams and Brad Bird. The pilot of the television show will be directed by Bruce Geller.

Mission: Impossible the TV series will be broadcast early in the Fall.