SONY EMAIL CALLS JAMES FRANCO ‘TALENTED’

HOLLYWOOD – Already reeling from the revelations of the recent hacking by the Guardians of the Peace, a new Sony email has revealed that top ranking executives thought James Franco was ‘talented’.

The exchange between Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal is much more amicable than the one previously published and involving the development of the Jobs movie. Even though the culprit has been arrested, hacked material continues to emerge.

<<Hey Amy,

Listen. I’m really pleased with the idea of casting James Franco with his buddy and Pineapple Express co-star Seth Rogen. I think the two are dynamite together. They will be this millennia’s Abbot and Costello. Mark my words. Good job Amy.

Scott>>

 <<Hi Scott,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know we don’t always see eye to eye (cf. Jobs emails) but I think we can both agree that James Franco is a no-brainer for this one. The guy has the whole package: smart, funny and dreamy to look at. Am I right?

Amy>>

 <<Hey Amy,

No you’re not wrong. Plus he’s a nice guy as well. And I hear he writes novels too. I’ve never read his book but one of my assistants tells me that it’s actually not horrible. Not that horrible.

Scott>>

<<Scott,

We should do more for Franco. I don’t think the world has had the opportunity to truly appreciate what a ‘talented’ guy he actually is. I mean, Spider-man 2 was obviously a game-changer, but he directs and writes poetry and appeared in a documentary about Marina Abramovic, the Eastern European tennis player.

Amy>>

<<Amy,

I love tennis! Jesus, it’s just crazy about how much we agree on this. I think we should just create a massive money pot dedicated to helping Franco do whatever it is he wants to do. Years from now the world will look back on this moment and say ‘Why did they not give the star of Oz: The Great and Powerful more exposure.

The Interview will be released despite all of this.

TILDA SWINTON ARRESTED FOR VAGRANCY

NEW YORK – Actress and beloved British odd ball Tilda Swinton was arrested on Sunday Evening at the MoMa in New York on a charge of vagrancy.

The Michael Clayton Oscar winner had been sleeping in an empty exhibit case on and off for weeks, despite the fact that museum spokeswoman Margaret Dufflecoat had told Ms. Swinton on more than one occasion to ‘Piss off!’ 

Officer Barnes of the NYPD said that, ‘A Caucasian 50 year old woman Oscar winner was arrested on Sunday afternoon when she refused to vacate the MoMa premises, claiming she was part of an installation called The Maybe. I advised the female of her rights and escorted her from the building.’

George Clooney – co-star and good friend of the Oscar winner – said:

Winning an Oscar is meaningless, it’s not that important. And Tilda – although she did win an Oscar – hasn’t been doing too well of late. I think the least the MoMa could do is go with her story that this is some sort of nut-job art thing. Like Marina Abramovich, or something. And that way Tilda will keep some of her dignity.

We have just found out that that is exactly what the MoMa is opting to do.