NOT ENOUGH MOVIES WITH A BLUE LIGHT GOING INTO THE SKY, AUDIENCES FEEL

HOLLYWOOD –  A new audience survey has revealed that the public actually wants more movies in which a blue light shines into the sky, usually opening a portal.

The Movier Goers Association of America (or MOGOAA) today published the results of a nation wide survey that proved that audiences wanted more movies in which a blue light is shone into the sky, usually above a city, usually to open a portal. The survey asked over seven thousand theatre goers for their disappointments and expectations. Frequently the results are used by studios to craft big budget entertainment that caters for the widest audience. MOGOAA spokesperson Ali Ppshaw explained the results to the Studio Exec:

The people have spoken and one thing they said is ‘more blue light shining into the sky please.’ This year we had the Suicide Squad but there was very little blue light shining in the sky action in films such as Jason Bourne and Snowden. Audiences have also demanded that movies include more thirty minute fight scenes at the end of movies when a team of disparate individuals finally learn to work together as a team to defeat a supermodel who can’t act.

What else did the survey find?

The public believe there is too much originality and there are a lot of people asking where the Manimal reboot is.

Manimal starring Will Ferrell will be released in 2018.

MANIMAL SURPRISES AT THE EMMYS

HOLLYWOOD – The 67th Emmy awards took place at the Microsoft Theatre with Andy Samberg presenting the awards, but the major upset of the evening was Manimal the 1983 adventure series that swept all the major categories.

Manimal, a short-lived adventure series started and ended in 1983, but last night it swept the Emmys due to a glitch in the voting mechanism. Beating out the likes of Mad Men, Orange is the New Black, Veep and Game of Thrones, Manimal won best drama series, best comedy series, best non-prosthetic make up and Simon MacCorkindale won best actor, beating out the likes of John Hamm and Bob Odenkirk.

Peter Dinklage – who plays Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones – spoke bitterly of his disappointment to the Studio Exec:

I’m bitterly disappointed. We were expecting stiff competition this year from Mad Men sure, but Manimal? That came from nowhere and swooped in like an eagle and took the award from my grasp. I mean was it even a good show? I didn’t even see it.

Although Manimal only ran for nine episodes in the early eighties, it received a massive cult following among internet groups and it is these groups which are thought to have interfered, or swung, the voting process. Starring MacCorkindale as Dr. Jonathan Chase, Manimal follows the shape shifting manimal as he solves crimes as a bull, or a dolphin, or a snake, or a monkey, or a giraffe. The Emmys host Andy Samberg was philosophical about the outcome and the outpouring of anger and hatred that soon followed:

It’s just like 2007 when Airwolf won everything. Or 2013 when it was Modern Family AGAIN. Nah, people bitch and complain but the fact is it is also cyclical. These things come around.

A new Manimal film starring Will Ferrell has been greenlit for 2017.

 

HART TO HART TO GET GAY REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – NBC has announced that they are in the process of developing a gay remake of popular detective show Hart to Hart.

A source close to the Hart to Hart production spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

In this new era of marriage equality it is only a matter of time before we start seeing a whole raft of shows featuring same sex couples. In the new show Jonathan and Daniel Hartman, self-made millionaire and his trophy husband will solve a whole series of murders and crimes helped by their faithful manservant Maxine the Butler and their dog Freeway.

The original show featured Robert Wagner, Stephanie Powers and Lionel Stander and speculation is rife as to who will play the leads, but the money is on the renewed pairing of Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman with Lady Gaga in the role of Maxine. Rumors that Freeway will be a Chihuahua have been strongly denied.

There is a good chance that the new Hart to Hart will be only the first in a whole raft of remakes realigned to mirror changes in the acceptance and celebration of our diverse sexuality. Rumors are already circulating of a lesbian Cagney and Lacey, an aggressively gay Manimal and a completely heterosexual Dukes of Hazzard.

Hart to Hart is due for broadcast in 2017.

CORRECTION: MANIMAL MOVIE IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – Despite earlier reports to the contrary, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are to produce a film spin off version of the cult 80s TV show Manimal in their relentless quest to just continuing f*cking up the world.  Continue reading “CORRECTION: MANIMAL MOVIE IS GO”

MANIMAL MOVIE IS NO GO

HOLLYWOOD – It was announced earlier today that there are still no plans to make Manimal: the Motion Picture following discussions that went long into the night at Tom Hamperson’s house in Sacramento, California.

Tom was (admittedly) a bit stoned and mentioned to some of his old buddies that it’d be great if someone made a Manimal movie based on the unpopular TV series from the 80s. His friends (Todd, Zeke and Betney) were almost unanimous in declaring the idea ‘genius’. A quick search of the internet, however, revealed that no such project was currently in development and that led to a sudden drop in enthusiasm. Their mood however was revived by the discovery of some pop tarts in the cupboard. And Tom rolled another joint in celebration.

The original series was shown briefly in 1983 and featured Dr Jonathan Chase (Simon MacCorkindale), wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa’s deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father’s legacy and the world’s darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man… Manimal! Glen A. Larson created the show by accident when he left the story machine he had invented on overnight and found the first eight episodes written in the morning. ‘In those days, I could do no wrong,’ said Glen. ‘So we went it into production before I sobered up.’ Asked about a movie Glen laughed a cackling laugh that seemed to endanger his health. 

Manimal will be released in 2016.