SPIKE LEE PRAISES GODS OF EGYPT ALL WHITE CASTING

HOLLYWOOD – Spike Lee congratulates Gods of Egypt for not casting black actors.

The historical/fantasy romp Gods of Egypt hit the Box Office with all the impact of a neutrino hitting a truck windshield this week as both critics and public agreed that the film was not worth their time. ‘Starring’ Gerard Butler and Nicolas Coster-Waldau, the Alex Proyas film tells the story of the myth of Osiris and has been roundly criticized for casting almost exclusively white actors as Egyptians. The film however has found an unlikely champion in Maclolm X and future Enter the Dragon director Spike Lee, who spoke to the Studio Exec earlier today:

At first I was mad about the casting controversy concerning Gods of Egypt. It was Ridley Scott and Exodus all over again as far as I could see. A systematic white washing of history and the world for the benefit of the dollar and dumb prejudice audiences who aren’t interested in watching anything which isn’t exactly like them.

So what changed your opinion?

I saw the film.

Ah!

Yeah, exactly. And I realized. Goddamn it, what if Denzel had been in this or Will Smith, or Oprah I mean Whoopi Goldberg.  It could have set the movement back decades. Normally I’d say I’m against segregation, but I do want to be segregated from your bullshit CGIed up the ass fantasy movies with second string Game of Thrones actors. That’s some shit I can get behind.

Gods of Egypt is on release.

GRUMPY OLD MEN REBOOT: FIRST LOOK

HOLLYWOOD – The new re-imagining of the Jack Lemmon/Walter Matthau classic Grumpy Old Men gets its first poster featuring stars Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington.

Famous for their more serious dramatic/action roles in films such as Malcolm X and Taken, Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington both expressed their delight at being involved in the Grumpy Old Men remake.

They spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec.

So what attracted you to the project?

Liam Neeson: We’ve both done remakes in the past. I’ve done The A-Team and Denzel did The Equalizer and…

Denzel Washington: The Taking of Pelham 123.

LN: Right. But we don’t get much opportunity to do comedy. People look at us killing people in our films and they don’t connect that with comedy for some reason.

DW: Cameron Crowe has been trying to get a remake of the film off the ground for years and the script has been circulating. I was looking for something to do with Liam because I’ve admired him as an actor ever since I saw Krull.

LN: For me, I became a big Denzel fan after watching Ricochet. That was one hell of a movie. I pointed at the screen and said ‘I want to do that’.

How did you divide the roles?

DW: Liam was already attached to play John Gufstafson, which was Lemmon’s role. But that was perfect for me because I’ve always seen myself more as a Walter Matthau man. I’ve got the same hangdog looks.  So I took to the role of Max really well.

LN: When I was re-watching the original I noticed that John was kind of a handy man and I thought, I too have a particular set of skills. And so that made my mind up really.

How will the new film differ from the old film?

DW: No one wants to see a carbon copy. What’s the point of that?

LN: Right. In the original, John and Max are both basically bitter old men arguing about the affections of an attractive neighbor Ariel. They spy on each other and try to sabotage each other’s plans.

DW: In our version I’m ex-CIA.

LN: And I’m ex-Secret Service.

DW: And we both love Ariel, playing by Melanie Griffith.

LN: But terrorists have kidnapped her.

DW: We need to forget our differences and team up to kill the terrorists, evade the police commanded (as ever) by Forest Whitaker and save Ariel.

Wow. It doesn’t sound like a funny premise.

LN: Funny? Why on earth would it have to be funny?

Because it’s a comedy.

DW: Comedies don’t have to be funny.

LN: Look at This Means War.

Yes, but...

DW: Or anything with Vince Vaughn in.

LN: He’s made hundreds of comedies and not once have I laughed.

DW: Good point Liam.

LN: Thanks Denzel.

Grumpy Old Men will be in cinemas in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor

AN APOLOGY TO SPIKE LEE

NEW YORK – Today Studio Exec caused egregious offence and possibly super Red Hook Horror to the film maker, hat model, and visionary Spike Lee (For that Story See Here), by writing a story about how he had criticised Lee Daniels’ Lee Daniels’ The Butler (FOR THAT STORY READ HERE) and we are so sorry.

Pretty much none of it was true. Though the way Spike Lee went at us … but none of it was true.

We wish… no wait, I … me, the Studio Exec wholeheartedly wish to say sorry. 
And in no way do I want this to be jokey and ironic and stupid. 
This is serious. 
I upset the man who made Do the Right Thing, so I want to do the right thing. 
I disturbed the man who made She’s Gotta Have It and Malcolm X, and I don’t want to wait until The 25th Hour before I… oh wait did you see what I did there? 
Anyway…
In my defence Spike did make Inside Man and Miracle at St. Anna, and even as he complained about having words put in his mouth, the Italian partisans slandered in that… no wait, that’s not the point. What I discovered today was the man who made Bamboozled has not as broad a sense of humour as I had anticipated, so I’m sorry and I swear to God I will never take his name in vain again. The most original film maker working in America today. 

His remake of Old Boy is released in November, 2013.    

DENZEL WASHINGTON DESTROYS HOUSE VIA THE POWER OF PRAYER

MISSOURI – Fans of Oscar contender and film star Denzel Washington were celebrating today at the news that he had destroyed a house through the power of prayer.
The house – in Springfield, Missouri –  belonged to one Vincent Chambers a blogger who recently reviewed Mr. Washington’s new film Flight, and complained that the Robert Zemekis directed drama was ‘sanctimonious twaddle which lost its way in the third act’.
Apparently the Malcolm X star had taken exception to the review (published on the internet site StuffWhatWeThinkAboutStuff) and specifically Mr. Chambers’ comments about the film’s ‘overbearing religiosity’. Washington is a committed Christian, who has often spoken on its influence in guiding him in his career, telling him – for instance – to unnecessarily remake The Taking of Pelham 123. The actor let it be known that he was going to pray all day yesterday for God to smite Mr. Chambers and at 11.21 last night the critic’s residence was destroyed although fortunately he was catching a late viewing of Les Miserables.
Rev. Halibutt said that although his church would never condone the use of prayer for destructive purposes it did at least show that ‘Christianity shits on Scientology from a height when it comes to getting shit done.’