WAS STANLEY KUBRICK MURDERED?

LONDON – A new book asks the question: Was Stanley Kubrick murdered?

Stanley Kubrick‘s life was surrounded by a miasma of legend and rumor. His films are the rich breeding ground for OCD analysis, OCD analysis and some more OCD analysis; and now his death has become the subject of  a new book by Hardy Mantellance – Who Killed Stanley Kubrick?

The Stanley Kubrick scholar claims that the Spartacus director was done in by a fatal confluence of Masonic Satanism, poison and an unbalanced man who had been fatally damaged by watching Barry Lyndon every night for eighteen years. 

I spoke to Hardy Mantellance in her West London home. 

Stanley Kubrick suffered a myocardial infarction in his sleep shortly after completing Eyes Wide Shut. A myocardial infarction is relatively simple to provoke with the use of poison. Who do we know who uses poisons in all his films and had a deadly rivalry with Stanley Kubrick?  Steven Spielberg.

But Spielberg was Stanley Kubrick’s friend!

Until they began to develop the script for AI together, at which point a deadly enmity grew between them over the creative disagreement. Kubrick wanted to make a ‘good film’. After Kubrick’s death no one was there to stop Spielberg from making a ‘bad film’, exactly as he had always wanted.   

So you’re accusing Oscar winner Steven Spielberg of murder?

That’s what they want you to think.

Who’s they?

The Saturn Death Cult who Kubrick had so brilliantly exposed in Eyes Wide Shut. The Saturn Death Cult are a secret group made up of the elite from business, politics and celebrity. They perform ritual sex orgies which culminate in human sacrifice and their members include that old enemy of Stanley Kubrick, Jack Nicholson.

What?

The night Kubrick died Nicholson was overheard to say at a Lakers game, ‘We did it!’ At the time people thought he was referring to the Lakers victory, but it was only afterwards some right minded folk realised he was actually referring to the successful conspiracy to do away with the man who had forced Nicholson to say ‘Here’s Johnny!’ 78 times, even though his name is actually Jack.

So Nicholson murdered Kubrick?

Ha ha, how innocent you are! But ask yourself this, if Nicholson killed Kubrick, why was Nicole Kidman unable to contain her tears on the Eyes Wide Shut featurette?

Because she was sad at the passing of a man she admired.

Those were tears of joy. Following the orders of her Svengali like husband – Tom Cruise – whose own religious cult Scientology had just signed a pact with the Saturn Death Cult worth billions of dollars, Nicole Kidman had baked some cupcakes which were laced with a powerful chemical provided by Steven Spielberg and concocted in his ‘Temple of Doom’ laboratory deep in the Hollywood hills and placed in a Tupperware container bought from a Kmart by Jack Nicholson on the twenty fifth anniversary of the Apollo moon landings, moon landings which were faked convincingly by Stanley Kubrick who was as a reward given the right to make any film he liked, even Barry Lyndon.

The fact would be exposed in Capricorn One directed by Peter Hyams, whose silence was bought by being given the apparently peach job of making a sequel to 2001: a Space Odyssey, but the peach proved to be a poison apple and the film – 2010: the Year We Make Contact – was a critical disaster. Hyams (who grew up two doors down from Ryan O’Neal) spent the rest of his life watching Barry Lyndon on a loop and plotting revenge, a revenge that was only made possible by a coincidental meeting with Malcolm McDowell, the actor made famous by A Clockwork Orange, but who Stanley Kubrick had humiliated when he once, June 7th, 1978, asked if Malcolm had lost any weight, knowing full well that Malcolm had not. 

So Peter Hyams, Malcolm McDowell, Steven Spielberg, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, the Church of Scientology,  Jack Nicholson and the Satan Death Cult all conspired to kill Stanley Kubrick?

It would be comforting to think so, wouldn’t it? But the truth is actually a lot darker. Shelley Duvall…

At this point my recording device cut out and the rest of the interview is lost. Coincidence? I don’t know. 

Hardy Mantellance’s Who Killed Stanley Kubrick? is available from Amazon and all good book stores.

CLINT EASTWOOD ‘WAS A NAZI’

HOLLYWOOD – American Sniper director Clint Eastwood has been accused of being a Nazi after photographs of the young Clint dressed in a Wehrmacht uniform leaked onto the net.

The furor is only likely to add fuel to the fire of controversy currently raging around the octogenarian’s latest film and Oscar hopeful American Sniper which tells the story of a sniper who is American, but not Lee Harvey Oswald.

Documentarian and Fox News expert Michael Moore told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Clint’s films have often played with right wing ideology. Dirty Harry was called a fascist by Pauline Kael among others, and although the original film retained some ambiguity, the later manifestations were more straightforwardly right wing fantasies. Now what these photographs apparently show is Clint Eastwood dressed as a German soldier circa 1943. In other words at the height of the Nazi Reich’s power. And from this draw what you may.

However, supporters of the Every Which Way But Loose star said that the photographs actually come from a film called Where Eagles Dare, in which Clint ‘played’ a Nazi. Moore was having none of it.

That’s just hair-splitting. Whether he was a Nazi or he played a Nazi in a film the important thing surely is that the word Nazi and the words Clint Eastwood have appeared in a sentence together. And that has to be worth something. I mean, where there’s smoke, surely there has to be fire?

But surely lots of actors have played Nazis, Malcolm McDowell, Ralph Fiennes, Max Von Sydow, Tom Cruise and Christoph Waltz have all donned the uniform.

It only goes to show how bad the problem is.

Clint Eastwood has so far refused to comment, as he was busy working on his new film Triumph of the American Will. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT HELEN MIRREN

HOLLYWOOD – Who knows who Helen Mirren actually is? No one that’s who.

Here comes another storm of fact blizzards, freezing the wavering of doubt and making snowmen of the falsehood and gossip buckets of Hollywood. Dame Helen Mirren, fact off!

  1. While making the revolutionary film O Lucky Man with Malcolm McDowell, Dame Mirren accidentally hit her leading man so hard in the testicles one of them popped into his head and he has had to use it as an eye ever since.  
  2. Dame Mirren openly criticised the Tinto Brass film Caligula because it wasn’t sexy or violent enough, even though many criticised it for the hardcore pornography and sadism in the film. ‘They’re all namby-pamby,’ said Dame Mirren. ‘What’s wrong with a bit of old murder and randy doings?’
  3. Helen Mirren’s real name is Helen Lydia Constantinople Mironoff. Her mother was English but her father was a famous Russian trapeze anarchist whose speciality was throwing bombs into the audience as he swung above their heads. His career came to the end when he decided that safety nets and trapezes were actually ideological constraints to artistic expression and plunged to his death on the next performance. 
  4. Despite her fame in the television drama Prime Suspect, Dame Helen Mirren has never been the Prime Suspect of a murder investigation, nor has she ever been party to the investigation of one. Her friends say she has never been a prime suspect because she is very good at choosing her victims and covering her tracks. Fellow murderer Charles Dance said that ‘Of all of us, Helen was the most brutally efficient murderer. She beat Hugh Grant into a cocked hat.’
  5. When playing the Queen in the film The Queen, Dame Helen Mirren insisted on meeting the Queen and walking behind her very very close, so that she was almost touching her, for an entire week. The Queen let it be known that she didn’t mind and even found Dame Helen Mirren’s proximity ‘strangely soothing.’
For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

WAS PETER SELLERS ALSO A NAZI?

HOLLYWOOD – Following the unveiling of Charlie Chaplin as a Nazi, the Studio Exec has discovered that British comic actor Peter Sellers was also possibly a member of a far right group as can clearly be seen from this photograph taken in 1969.

Peter Sellers was already famous for his portrayal of Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark when he was apparently seduced by the tenets of National Socialism, probably by old Goons colleague Spike Milligan. Stanley Kubrick, who worked with Peter Sellers on the film A Clockwork Orange in which Sellers played a number of parts, said of Sellers:

Peter is a wonderful actor, capable of comedy and drama and anything. And as a human being, he is a very interesting man, and apparently Aryan. Or at least that’s what he keeps saying.

How many secret Nazis are hiding, or have hidden, in Hollywood?

Here is a short list:

Charlie Chaplin

Clint Eastwood

Peter Sellers

Gregory Peck

Ian McKellen

Malcolm McDowell

Bruno Ganz