RYAN REYNOLDS TELLS TAIKA WAITITI: TONE IT DOWN A BIT

BREAKING NEWS – In a heart-felt plea to the New Zealand writer, director, actor and all-round quirky guy, Ryan Reynolds tells Taika Waititi to ‘tone it down a bit’. We spoke to meta-hilarious 4th wall breaking Reynolds why he wants Taika to calm it down.

So Ryan Reynolds, Why Have Told Taika Waititi To Tone It Down?

First things first, I just wanna say how much I love Taika [looks over his should and winks at a non-existent camera]. But before he suffers the same fate as me, I just think he should calm down the whole kooky, quirk thing. You know what I mean?

Who Were You Winking At?

Um, nobody. No-one at all.

Don’t Give Me That Bullshit, You Were Meta-Winking.

Ok, ok, alright. I was, I admit it. But this is exactly what I don’t want to happen to my buddy, Taika. I can’t stop it anymore. When I started breaking 4th walls and being meta, it was fun and fresh. But it’s grown old very quickly. Now look at me. Yeah sure, I make at least $20million a picture, but they’re all on fucking Netflix. Who gives a shit about that!

What’s Your Message To Taika?

Your early movies, Eagle Vs Shark, What We Do In The Shadows and even Hunt For The Wilderpeople, they had kook and quirk, yeah sure. But they also had real heart at the center of them. Get back to that heart, that humanity, man. Don’t end up like me. I accidentally saw the opening credits of Magnum P.I and all it took was his little wink and eyebrow thingy to camera, and I was hooked. This shit is worse than fucking crack, man. I just can’t quit [does a funny look over my shoulder].

You Just Did It Again, Didn’t You?

I’m beyond saving. It’s hopeless. It’s just gonna be never-ending sequels to Red Notice and The Hitman’s fucking whatever from here on in.

Thor: Love And Thunder Is Currently In Theatres

TOM SELLECK TO REMAKE WATERWORLD

HOLLYWOOD – In what is being seen as an outrageous excess of gall, former Magnum PI star Tom Selleck is to remake Kevin Costner’s hit movie Waterworld.

Three Men and a Baby star Tom Selleck is to remake Kevin Reynold’s 1995 movie Waterworld. Although originally considered a massive flop at the time, plagued with a number of logistical and ego-derived problems, Waterworld actually went on to make a modest profit in ancillary sales. Tom Selleck came around to the Studio Exec bungalow to speak about what he called his dream project:

I love the original. I love the scale of it. Kevin Costner and Kevin Reynolds were both coming off a massive hit, but even so their combined vision is unbelievable. I’ve always been considered a TV actor and that’s okay with me. But at the same time I’ve longed to have a true break out movie on the big screen and I mean big. A real four wall blockbuster. So This is what I hope to do with Waterworld.

What attracted you to Waterworld in particular?

It combines two themes I am really interested in. First of all the future. I care about the future as anyone who has seen my hedge fund portfolio can tell you. But the other passion I have is water. I love water. I love drinking in it, swimming in it, taking baths and showers and God, watering my lawn. That is a genuine pleasure. I am a firm believer also in the health benefits of water. I think you should drink it down. I really do. So to make a film in which water has become the entire world… That’s a dream come true.

But what do you say to people who say that – considering the water shortage – this film choice is tactless, perhaps even a provocation?

I don’t understand how people could even dream of thinking like that. I’m not a scientist bu the California water shortage is exactly that: a water shortage. I water my crops and fill my pool. I’m using water. How is that a shortage? I’m drinking water right now, look [glug glug]. See!

But the shortage means the more you use the less everyone else has?

I don’t understand that. Surely if there’s a water shortage we should encourage people to use as much water as possible and I am for that. But this is all by the by. In the future the world will be water and my film Waterworld will show the way. In the film an evil government tries to stop rich individuals from using all the water they want to water golf courses and the like. They want to steal rich people’s water and give it to all these so called ‘thirsty’ people. But Magnum (that’s me) part man, part fish, comes along and saves the day.

Waterworld will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

JOAQUIN PHOENIX LANDS ROLE AS SELLECK

HOLLYWOOD – Gladiator and The Master star Joaquin Phoenix has landed the coveted role of actor Tom Selleck in the biopic Selleck.

The long awaited biopic of moustache carrier and Magnum PI star has long been a pet project of Oliver Stone, but is now finally finding traction under the direction of Terry Gilliam, due (ironically) to a conspiracy.

Gilliam spoke to Studio Exec on the express condition that it was EXCLUSIVELY exclusive:

Oliver was attached early on and will get a story credit, but a lot of people think Oliver’s an asshole, from the man on the street going right up to the highest levels of government, as well as the top level organised crime lords. These men met in dark rooms and decided to take away his pet project, the Selleck biopic, and give it to me. The money was good so I said yes.

Joaquin Phoenix is understood to be preparing for the role by walking around pretending to be an actor.

Selleck will be released in 2015.