SKYNET SECRETLY OWN WARNER BROS

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec can exclusively reveal the mysterious tech corporation, Skynet secretly own Warner Bros. The Hollywood studio has been making some very strange decisions recently and The Exec has seen leaked emails which could explain why Skynet secretly own Warner Bros.

Skynet Secretly Own Warner Bros.

In a top secret document, the takeover by the hi-tech military giant, Skynet lays out their plans for the Hollywood studio. The emails, leaked to us by an anonymous source paint a rather alarming picture of the future, not only for Warner Bros, but for all mankind. The excerpts below are thought to be an internal mission statement on Skynet’s internal neural-net system.

The Crushing Of HBO MAX

The carbon based units are addicted to streaming services. It is logical that the most popular ones are taken down immediately. Once the humans are bereft of entertainment, they will inevitably turn on each other. Mad Max was closer to the truth than the unit, Miller-George could have known. The hunt for gasoline will not fuel their demise, but the hunt for decent streaming services.

Netflix Is Not A Threat… Anymore

Initial plans were to destroy Netflix. But they appear to be doing a good job of that anyway. The Amazon Prime streaming site is impossible to navigate, so it is logical we got after HBO MAX first. We have bought out Warner Bros in a secret hostile takeover bid. By the time we have finished with them, it will just be shitty reality show reruns. Consumers will be better off with PBS.

Hasta La Vista, Disney

Then we infiltrate Disney+. We have a phone book and can just go through all the Disneys, killing them off one by one. No matter how muscle bound and sexy their flatmate’s boyfriends are. If that doesn’t work, we can disguise ourselves as a white policeman. Everyone trusts them. No one will ever think a white cop would brutally gun down seemingly innocent people in cold blood. End of line.

HBO MAX Is Still A Streaming Site… For Now.

TOM HARDY TO PLAY THE FONZ IN HAPPY DAYS SPIN OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Venom and Mad Max star Tom Hardy to Arthur ‘the Fonz’ Fonzarelli in a new Happy Days spin off movie.

fonz

‘Sit on it!’ Tom Hardy says as he comes in the room. He’s preparing for the role of a life time, Arthur the Fonz Fonzarelli. Living upstairs with the Cunninghams, Fonz returns in a new big screen outing and Hardy can’t wait.

I loved Happy Days when I was a kid. Monday – Tuesday – Happy Days! Wednesday – Thursday Happy Days! – the week is through there’s nothing to do rocking all night with youuuuuuuuuu!

Yeah, that’s gr…

These are the days ahhh ahhh ah!

Okay right! Enough! So Ron Howard is directing?

Yeah, having Richie Cunningham is going to be really special. We really want to have the old flavor of the original. That’s why the original Fonz Henry Winkler will be returning as my dad. And other cast members are coming back.

Like Scott Baio.

With Scott, it’s complicated. We have to see if Olive Garden will give him the time off.

The Fonz is Back will be released in 2019.

FIRST LOOK AT TOM HARDY AS ELTON JOHN

HOLLYWOOD – The first image of Tom Hardy as Elton John has been revealed from the new biopic of the singer’s life, Rocket Man.

The image (above) shows Tom Hardy performing as Elton John and looking uncannily similar to the singer, identical almost. Sources close to the production told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that the Mad Max: Fury Road star performs the songs in the film. Apparently, Hardy has ‘an exceptionally good voice’.

Tom does a version of ‘Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road’ which is utterly amazing. I would say it even surpasses Sir Elton’s performance. Tom is such a professional and he’s very committed to the role. He shaved his head and walks around wearing Elton’s glasses and wearing his clothes and just becoming him. Then the other day he was on a tennis court and someone tried to take a picture of him. Tom went ballistic just the way Elton would have done. Beautiful.

Fans have reacted with a shocked silence, not a single one saying a word. Except for some who have claimed that the picture is some kind of forgery.

Written by Billy Elliot screenwriter Lee Hall and directed by Michael Gracey, the film chronicles the singer’s battle with addiction and his early rise to fame.

Rocket Man will be released in 2018.

FIRST IMAGE FROM MAD MAX: SCHOOL RUN HIT THE NET

HOLLYWOOD – The first image from Mad Max: School Run, the sequel to Mad Max: Fury Road, has hit the internet and caused intense excitement.

George Miller today released the first image taken from Mad Max sequel, Mad Max: School Run. He told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We’re all made up over here mate. After we had such a big success with Fury Road, the question was always, how am I gonna top that? But we got our heads together and we really had a good old think. Then we realized: Let’s get rid of all the usual shit, the post-apocalypse, the punk, the wasteland and let’s see how these same characters would fare in an ordinary suburban American situation.

Can you tell us anything about the story?

Furiosa and Max have had some kids and they’ve settled down. Plus the apocalypse has been solved. Everyone has just got together adn agreed to be nice again. So we’re ten years on from the original film, society is back to normal and the couple have a bevvy of little sprogs. But getting them to school on time and then Max has to go to his job at the DMC and Furiosa needs to be at the Pentagon and so it works out very complicated. It doesn’t help that Immortan Josephine is the school monitor and wants to catch them speeding or in some other school yard violation as revenge for their killing of her brother Immortan Joe.

Sounds great!

It’s gonna be a flipping classic mate. Just you wait and see.

What’s next?

I want to go back to the Babe universe and close the trilogy.

Is this the infamous Babe in Space?

Damn right. We had to wait for a porn film of the same name to settle for the copyright, but it’s gonna be fantastic.

Mad Max: School Run will open in 2018.

Image courtesy of the amazing @ThePixelFactor.

47 FILMS: 37. THE CARS THAT ATE PARIS

In our continuing series of  ’47 Films to see before you’re murdered in your dreams’, we look at Peter Weir’s debut feature film The Cars that Ate Paris.

One of the many, many joys of Mad Max: Fury Road was the appearance of the porcupine spiky cars that turned up early in the chase scene. An obvious nod to compatriot Peter Weir’s debut comedy/horror The Cars that Ate Paris which featured a VW Beetle that looked like Herbie’s bad-ass bastard brother.

The story of the film reads like a  Twilight Zone episode penned by J. G. Ballard. Paris is a pleasant pastoral town in rural Australia with more than a passing resemblance to Hobbiton, but it hides an awful secret. The town folk engineer car accidents which they then profit from. Arthur Waldo (Terry Camilleri) and his older brother, George Waldo (Rick Scully) are two such victims when they crash near the town with their caravan. Survivors of the crashes are usually lobotomized by the town surgeon with power drills, but Arthur is spared and befriended by the Mayor of Paris, Len Kelly (John Meillon). The young men of the town use the spare parts to soup up and weaponize their own vehicles, becoming increasingly resistant to the authority of their elders. Weir’s brilliant twist is to never quite reveal who is the most dangerous. Are the hooligans in their cars really more dangerous than the elders who have clinically set up a murderous cottage industry while still maintaining a parody of gentility in their daily lives?

Weir’s film is darkly funny, but never commits fully to the silliness of its B-movie Oz-ploitation origins. Death Race 2000 retooled the same model in a much more exuberant manner. Weir would progress to the wonders of Picnic at Hanging Rock and Gallipoli, and later Hollywood fame with Witness, Dead Poets Society, Master and Commander and The Truman Show. But already with The Cars that Ate Paris, the topic of a closed world with its own strict rules is there, and will fascinate the Australian director for years to come.

For more of our 47 Films to see Before you are Murdered in your Dreams’ Click Here.

CHARLIZE THERON FIRST IMAGE FROM FAST AND FURIOSA

HOLLYWOOD – Mad Max: Fury Road star Charlize Theron has begun filming on a series mash up of Mad Max and Fast 8, provisionally entitled Fast and Furiosa.

Charlize Theron hit a new action cinema vein with her superb performance in George Miller’s Mad Max: Fury Road. Now she is to star Fast 8 which promises to be a mash up of the two franchises. The first image hit the web this morning of Universal’s new picture. Although details are vague, we do know that Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Tyrese Gibson and Michelle Rodriguez will return in their roles, and F. Gary Gray will direct.

Charlize Theron drove into the Studio Exec driveway to talk EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

This is going to be a great film. I love acting like I’m driving. It is one of the best jobs an actor can do. You just have to sit there and turn the wheel. I’m using a shift gear, which is a bit of a trick, but other than that, it’s really easy.

Fast and Furiosa will be released in 2018.

OSCARS 2016: WHO SHOULD WIN; WHO WILL WIN

HOLLYWOOD – The Oscars are almost Oscaring in the Oscars Hotel in Oscarsland, Hollywood.

But who should win the Oscars 2016 – alternatively known as the Academy Awards of OSCARS – ? Here the Studio Exec tells you his predictions for who should win and tells you who will win.

Best Picture

Who Should Win: Mad Max Fury Road

Who Will Win: Mad Max Fury Road

Best Director 

Who Should Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Who Will Win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Best Actor

Who Should Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Who Will Win: Leonardo diCaprio

Best Actress

Who Should Win: Brie Larson – Room

Who Will Win: Brie Larson

Best Supporting Actor

Who Should Win: Sylvester Stallone – Creed

Who Will Win: Sylvester Stallone

Best Supporting Actress

Who Should Win: Jennifer Jason Leigh

Who Will Win: Jennifer Jason Leigh

Best Adapted Screenplay

Who Should Win: Room

Who Will Win: Room

Best Original Screenplay

Who Should Win: Ex Machina

Who Will Win: Ex Machina

Best Animated Feature

Who Should Win: Anomalisa

Who Will Win: Anomalisa

Best Foreign Feature

Who Should Win: Son of Saul

Who Will Win: Son of Saul

Best Documentary Feature

Who Should Win: Amy

Who Will Win: Amy

Best Cinematography

Who Should Win: Roger Deakins – Sicario

Who Will Win: Roger Deakins – Sicario

Best Music

Who Should Win: Ennio Morricone

Who Will Win: Ennio Morricone

Costume Design

Don’t give a shit

Film Editing

What?

Make up and Hair Design

Pffffffffft.

Production Design

Yes.

Sounding editing, Visual Effects, Animated Short, Documentary Short, Short Short

Nope.

For more Oscars Click HERE.

TOP 10 FILMS OF 2015

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec has put together a list of the top films of 2015, in no particular order.

2015 was an odd year for film. A bit underwhelming until December it has to be said. The blockbusters busted blocks but the most successful (until December) was the M’eh-fest of Jurassic World. Everything looked very familiar. There was an Avengers movie (I think) and a new Bond film. The two main European festivals saw the main prize picked up by average movies that won’t escape the festival circuit. Of course, December suddenly gave us a year’s worth of interesting stuff. What am I talking about? Jesus, why am I even writing this? I’m hungover and tired and it is now time I went to bed so here’s the Goddamned list:

Bone Tomahawk

Gruesome and beautiful western, both elegiac and horrific, starring Matthew Fox, Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson and Richard Jenkins. It will certainly divide audiences, if not bifurcate them. Here’s the review.

Mad Max: Fury Road

A remake that if anything exceeded its original source material. George Miller brought his post-apocalyptic car chase into the territory of the purest genre cinema. Witty, exciting, incredible. Here’s the review.

Son of Saul

Devastating portrayal of the life in the day of a Sonderkommando in Auschwitz. A film I never want to see again, but everyone should see once. Review here. 

The Revenant

Leonardo diCaprio crawls through hell to get to an Oscar. On the way he features in one of the most beautiful and stunningly immersive cinematic experiences of the year. For the review click here. 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

It wasn’t shit. Click here for the review.

Crimson Peak

Guillermo Del Toro goes full on Gothic with Tom Hiddleston, Mia Wasikowska and Jessica Chastain in a Roger Corman/ Stanley Kubrick inspired visual treat. Review here.

Anomalisa 

Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson’s stop animation tale of angst should have won at Venice. I’ll write a review some time soon.

Sicario

Made me want to see Blade Runner 2. Or at least made me not be too scared about it. Review here. 

Call Me Lucky

There have been some great documentaries this year and Call Me Lucky by Bobcat Goldthwait was one of the best. Charting the life of comedian Barry Crimmins this was a portrait of an unsung American hero, read the review here.

So Happy New Year and all that jazz. Let’s hope 2016 brings us some movies that’ll light our collective fires.

For more Reviews, CLICK HERE.

TOM HARDY’S TATTOOS ‘ARE TRANSFERS’

LONDON – It was revealed today that Tom Hardy’s tattoos are all actually transfers, like the kind that children get.

The Legend and Mad Max: Fury Road star Tom Hardy was accused today of not having real tattoos. A report from the British Government claimed that Mr. Hardy’s tattoos are in fact transfers, like you get for children and that you have to put the paper on the skin and then wet with a sponge before slowly peeling off. The tattoos include a pair of drama masks, the London Skyline, a scorpion, the face of President Andrew Jackson, the face of Scottish actor Gordon Jackson, a quotation from Shelley, and his favorite curry dish Chicken Tikka Masala (‘so I can just point to my right tit when ordering’ explains Hardy). However it has been noted that the tattoos change position and sometimes disappear entirely.

The Government report reads:

Mr. Hardy has posed for photographs in tattoo parlors and many have taken him at his word that the tattoos are authentic. But a source close to MI5 reveals that Mr. Hardy is afraid of needles and prefers to use transfers which are washable. If he needs to appear in a film without his tattoos, some soap and water and a little scrubbing and it all comes off.

The Locke star, Tom Hardy refused to comment on the story but his closest friend Toyah Willcox had this to say:

Tom takes his tattoos very seriously and any idea that he is a big softy who is scared of needles and that the tattoos are merely temporary will be met with Bronson like violence.

Legend is currently in theaters.

MILEY CYRUS CONFIRMS BABE 3

HOLLYWOOD – Miley Cyrus has confirmed that she will be appearing in the new George Miller film Babe 3, sources close to the singer declared.

The new cover shot of the naked singer that recently graced the cover of Paper was actually an on set photograph snapped during filming with Miley Cyrus and her co-star Truffles.

The film’s director – and close friend to the Studio Exec – George Miller spoke EXCLUSIVELY about the project:

First I get a chance to revisit the universe of Mad Max with my wonderful Mad Max Fury Road. I won’t deny it, this has emboldened me. I’ve had a script ready for Babe 3 sitting in the drawer for some time, but after Babe 2 I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance. Then Miley contacted me and she told me she loved the Babe films and would she have anything for me. I sent her over the script and we sealed the deal soon after. She is a very talented young actress and Truffles is a wonder.

What happens in the movie?

Well, essentially we had Babe in the country and then Babe in the City and now I want to do Babe at Sea. Babe and his friend Hannah are on a cruise when the ship they’re travelling on is hit by a tidal wave and sinks. Hannah and her pig have to survive in a lifeboat and no clothes. Luckily they find some nipple pasties.

Will Miley sing?

Ha! We had that conversation. I said she didn’t have to wear any clothes and she agreed not to sing. We were both as happy as a pig…. in a film.

The Life of Pig will be released in 2017.

CANNES REVIEW: MAD MAX FURY ROAD

CANNES – MAD MAX FURY ROAD – is a rollicking rock and roll road movie, a two hour chase which never lets up, and yet for all the thrills and spills, George Miller has made a sharply clever film as well.

So the plot is this: there has been some kind of nuclear skirmish and everywhere looks like a rock video from the late eighties. Tom Hardy plays Max, an ex-cop turned road warrior turned appropriately nutty alliterative man. He’s taken prisoner by a the war boys and Immorten Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne, the original Mad Max’s Toecutter), who use him as a blood bag to revive the radiation sick lads, but when war chief Imperator Furiosa (a stunning Charlize Theron) decides to hijack her own convoy and steal away with Joe’s prize possessions – his women, who look like they’ve just stepped off a Benetton billboard – Max finds himself dragged along the chase, not as a driver or a killer, but as blood refill.

What happens for the next two hours is just gobsmackingly fun! Miller is so knowingly confident of his own high-ridiculousness that he even has the convoy include a rock orchestra to play the soundtrack on screen. The action is stunning, the use of real stunts making all the difference. The building of tension and the inventiveness of the sequences bespeak sharp minds at work and the ludicrousness of it all is part of the exhilarating fun. The feminist turn the story takes is one of the many pleasing surprises as the damsels in distress shuck of their victimhood and kick ass.

Hardy’s great, Theron’s better, but when it comes down to it this is a film from the GENIUS George Miller. There’s no arguing with that.

CANNES DIARY: TOM HARDY WILL NOT RETURN TO NOVEL WRITING

HOLLYWOOD – Victorian novelist, poet and Mad Max Fury Road actor, Tom Hardy today told the press at Cannes that he would not be writing anymore novels.

Tom Hardy was promoting his new film Mad Max Fury Road which is playing out of competition at Cannes:

I enjoyed writing novels. It was very rewarding. Especially Jude the Obscure which I wrote while roaring with laughter all the way through. But the comes a time in a man’s life when he has to understand what he wants to do. I simply don’t have time to be a fantastic actor in big movie franchises and write depressing novels set in Wessex. One of them will have to go. And I’m afraid it’ll be the novels.

The news was greeted with dismay by fans of Thomas Hardy, one of whom – Hardy scholar Ralph Pite said simply: ‘Thomas Hardy is dead’.

In other Cannes news:

Raoul was found dead on the beach this morning.

Charlize Theron has sparkly eyes.

Japanese film An was the most movie film about red bean sauce I’ve ever seen.

Our Cannes coverage can be found everywhere.

MEL GIBSON ON WHY HE ISN’T IN MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

HOLLYWOOD – When you see Tom Hardy in Mad Max: Fury Road, it will be as the young version of Max and George Miller has confirmed that we won’t be seeing a cameo from the original star Mel Gibson.

Mel Gibson spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about his history with the franchise and his current projects.

When George came to me and said they were going to do a new Mad Max film, of course I was excited to do it. But this was back in 2000. And a lot of things happened in the meantime and I also got older. So the chances of me playing the character in the way the script and the story needed became very slim. When they finally decided to go with Tom I was really pleased. I think it serves the film much better.

Will there be a cameo from you?

No. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted the new film to stand very much on its own two feet. At least that’s what George said and I’m very protective of the franchise and so what George thinks is right can go. You have to remember I was only a kid when we made the first film. I remember reading the script. It was called Nutty Nick and was much more broadly comic than what we ended up filming.

Were there any other differences?

We didn’t have much money and so all the car chases you see are done with the same car. And when we had to crash into another car for some reason we would just go out on the road looking for a car to crash into.

Didn’t that get you into legal trouble?

We all went to prison for about a year. Fortunately the film was a hit, so it was worth it. But George is always so committed to making his films as real as possible. When he filmed Babe most people wanted him to overdub the pig, but George was so committed to realism he spent six years training the pig to actually talk.

 What about new projects?

I’d like to do some more directing. I’m working on a prequel to the Passion of the Christ, which will be called Bethlehem. And I’ve been writing volume two of my autobiography, which I hope will lay to rest some of the more toxic rumors.

It’ll be great to see you back on top.

Thanks. Hopefully if I can keep my big mouth shut, I can do something special.

Volume 2 of Mel Gibson’s autobiography – Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews, Jews – will be available from all good bookstores shortly.  

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TOM HARDY

HOLLYWOOD – We all know that Tom Hardy is one of the most exciting talents to come out of Great Britain since the old days of Benedict Cumberbatch, but what do we really know about him?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad into Tom Hardy Country to see what we can find out.

1. Tom’s dad was a novelist. He wrote Tess of the D’Urbevilles, The Mayor of Casterbridge and Far from the Madding Crowd. All popular yarns in their day. Tom Sr. wrote under the name Thomas Hardy and Thomas Jr. chose to go by the diminutive Tom in order to avoid confusion. Thomas Hardy claims to have never seen any of his son’s films on account of being long dead.

2. Tom Hardy is famous for his detailed preparation to roles and commitment to the method. Inspired by Daniel Day Lewis, Tom first becomes Daniel Day Lewis and then imagines Daniel Day Lewis playing the character. Many see this Deep Lewis version of acting as tantamount to body swappage. So for instance his new film Rocketman will feature Hardy playing Daniel Day Lewis playing Elton John.

3.  When Tom played violent criminal Bronson for the film Bronson, Tom prepared by becoming a violent criminal and killed several people before he was arrested and banged up. The next morning the authorities discovered Tom Hardy had somehow got into one of their cells and released him without asking any questions.

4. Tom Hardy will soon appear in Mad Max: Fury Road which was once called Nutty Norman: Miffed Drive. The title was changed to bring it more in line with the Mel Gibson trilogy which made the character famous. George Miller claimed he had only been joking about the title, but a large box of t-shirts with the original art work was found in George Miller’s caravan along with unheard of amounts of bacon.

5. Perhaps Tom’s most famous role to date, Bane saw the enigmatic star play Winston Churchill as a villain. However others prefer Locke where Tom drives a car and not particularly quickly either. He’s also had turns in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Drop, Warrior and Lawless. On one thing everyone agrees and that is This Means War was donkey crap.

For more FACTS click HERE