DESERT ISLAND POLICE ACADEMY: SCARLETT JOHANSSON

HOLLYWOOD – Continuing our popular series, Desert Island Police Academy in which we ask celebrities which Police Academy they’d take with them if they were stranded on a Desert Island.

This week Her, We Bought a Zoo and Under the Skin actor, Scarlett Johansson.

So Scarlett, which Police Academy movie would you take with you on your desert island?

I think it would have to be the very first. The concept is fresh, Steve Guttenberg gives the performance of his career and the whole ensemble feels genuinely at ease with each other. The comedy comes thick and fast, as in the best Airplane tradition, but the characters are also there and you genuinely learn to care about them. This is a comedy with a heart of gold.

Great. Thank you very much.

But…

What?

On this desert island what kind of facilities are there for watching discs? And are we talking Blu-Ray or DVD?

We thought we’d go old school with a VHS player and a cassette. 

So there’ll be a TV set.

Yes. 

And presumably a power supply?

Absolutely.

Powered how?

Solar panels.

Nice. Will there be other films to watch?

No. 

Just the first Police Academy?

Yes. 

Okay good.

Wow. 

What?

It’s true then. 

What’s true?

You really are using 100% of the potential of your brain. 

I had to learn to use 100% in order to be utterly convincing as Lucy in the Luc Besson film Lucy.

You’re the best. 

I know.

For more Desert Island Police Academy click here.

 

5 FILMS WHICH WOULD BE BETTER WITH A COMEDY GIRAFFE

HOLLYWOOD – How many times have you been watching a good film almost ruined by the absence of a comedy giraffe?

Hundreds? Thousands? Even millions! Well, the Studio Exec FACT squad has been out in force with pencils and pieces of paper and have created a list of five films which would have been improved somewhat by the simple addition of a comedy giraffe.

1. Interstellar: Sure the visuals were stunning. Yes the black holes in the plot were irritating. Of course Anne Hathaway could occasionally change expression. But what ultimately brought many viewers of Christopher Nolan’s IMAX spectacular down to earth with a bump was the complete absence of an African even toed ungulate mammal with a wise cracking sense of humor. Scenes of action and tension could have been leavened with the humor of seeing a giraffe floating around in zero gravity, perhaps repeating the catch phrase in a comedy Brooklyn accent, ‘How did I get here?’ That’d even make Matthew McConaughey smile.

2. Whiplash: Yes CK Simmons gives an Oscar worthy performance. Yes Miles Teller is fastly emerging as on of the most interesting acting talents of his generation. But why couldn’t this tale of an obsessive jazz musician student locked in a poisonous relationship with his sadistic perfectionist teacher have included a pet giraffe that the student would have to keep in his New York apartment, despite his landlord’s strict ‘No Pets’ policy? Don’t have an answer? Neither do we.

3. Lucy: Luc Besson’s stupid action film starring Scarlett Johansson as a drug’s courier who accidentally becomes God, would have been improved by almost anything else happening. Given that, why not a comedy giraffe, who in a piece of cunning meta-comedy mistakes ‘Lucy’ for Scarlett Johansson, the star of We Bought a Zoo?

4. Noah: This Russell Crowe vehicle had giraffes, but they were as glum as he was in this glum fantasy drivel derived from some book called ‘The Bible’. There was no joking about with them, no amusing slapstick with droppings and finally Darren Aronofsky really dropped the ball when he forget to make them speak!

5. Madagascar: Now, I know what you’re going to say. Surely there was a comedy giraffe in Madagascar, the DreamWorks animated movie that was a hit with all the family. It starred Ben Stiller and Chris Rock as Alex and Marty but Melman the ‘comedy giraffe’ was voiced by David Schwimmer, thus nullifying any of the comic potential. The whole venture will have to go down in the history books as a noble effort, ballsed up by the dull one from Friends.

For more MOVIE FACTS Click Here.