JJ ABRAMS TO REMAKE JAPAN

HOLLYWOOD – JJ Abrams is to remake Japan, the country.

Star Trek, Force Awakens and Lost director JJ Abrams announced his project to remake the country of Japan.

It is going to be phenomenal. We’re going to take the whole country and repopulate it with Emma Stone, Scarlett Johansson and Channing Tatum.

The news came soon after the announcement of Abrams’ other project: a live action remake of Anime Your Name. With concerns about white washing Asian characters still very much alive the Studio Exec asked Abrams how he would address concerns:

Oh yeah. We’ve thought about that. You see Japan as it exists today is full of Asian people because of where it is. But we’re going to remake it just off the coast of San Francisco and so that problem just goes away. The story of Japan is just so universal. We don’t need to worry about this or that cultural norm because isn’t everything really about white people anyway?

Japan will be available in the Pacific Ocean from January.

INVITATION TO LOVE GETS SPIN OFF SEASON

HOLLYWOOD – While we’re all waiting for the next Twin Peaks season, David Lynch today announced that he was also planning to write and direct a spin off season of Invitation to Love, the ‘show within a show’ soap opera featured in the cult series.

Twin Peaks is set to return in 2017, but news dropped today that Invitation to Love is also to be granted a stand alone season.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, David Lynch explained what the show will be about:

We loved doing the little inserts of Invitation to Love in the original Twin Peaks. It was always a fun way of commenting on the action of the actual show and it gave us a license to make the story of Twin Peaks quite ridiculous while always seeming strangely real. You see you had the soap opera that the characters were watching and it is just a weird thing. You never see people watching TV on TV and so getting them to do that made our show seem more real, though of course our plot was often as ridiculous as the fake soap opera.

But it is now going to return as a show in its own right?

That’s exactly right, Exec. You see I loved doing them but I always wrote far more for Invitation to Love than we could ever actually use. And so when Twin Peaks got cancelled I would keep on writing episodes of Invitation to Love. Some of them I converted and sold to other TV shows, Gray’s Anatomy bought a couple and the entire finale of Lost is just an Invitation to Love episode with all the characters’ names changed. But when we got the go ahead to start Twin Peaks again it seemed natural that I should do Invitation to Love as a companion piece. It had grown so big though, I knew I couldn’t bear to have the show just exist in snippets so me and Mark Frost decided we would make Invitation to Love as a stand alone series that we would film alongside Twin Peaks.

Lara Flynn Boyle and Kyle MacLachlan are both expected to give guest performances though the main cast has yet to be confirmed.  Sherilyn Fennalso said that she would have a role in the soap opera and also revealed that the plots of the two shows would intertwine. She told Studio Exec:

I think they’re going to be two fun rides. People will be debating the influence of the one show on the other for a very long time. And David being David things are bound to get very, very weird.

Invitation to Love will be shown in 2017.

BLADE RUNNER 2: DAMON LINDELOF ARRESTED

HOLLYWOOD – Damon Lindelof has been arrested after defying a court order making it illegal for Mr. Lindelof to approach within 200 metres of the Blade Runner sequel, tentatively titled Blade Runner 2.

Judge Jorges Harenton had ruled in his judgement in June of this year, soon after seeing Prometheus, that Mr. Lindelof should obey the restraining order as he has had a history of causing a huge amount of public distress, especially with his ‘bullshit plotting and cloth-eared dialogue’.
Judge Harenton went on to write in his ruling, that the Lost writer ‘had grievously and with knowledge aforethought caused untold damage to what had been like the science fiction horror film of all time.’
Mr. Lindelof had responded  by saying ‘Is this serious? that can’t be right’ and had treated to the restraining order as a joke. He was found in the early hours of this morning emailing Ridley Scott with a story outline (to read the email CLICK HERE). In his possession was a heavily annotated copy of Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? the book on which the original film was based.
In a surprise twist, STUDIO EXEC can reveal that it was Ridley Scott who telephoned the police on receiving the email.

GEORGE RR MARTIN ABANDONS GAME OF THRONES

NEW YORK – All was chaos at HBO headquarters last night as the news came through that George RR Martin has abandoned work on the next Game of Thrones novel in order to begin a totally new saga, provisionally entitled The Chair Contest, or Ditties of Sand and Honey.

George RR Martin was due to complete the Songs of Fire and Ice fantasy saga with two planned novels – The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring – but friends said he was sidetracked by a new idea while watching Lawrence of Arabia and before anyone could stop him had written three hundred pages, or chapter one as he called it.

In a note posted on a Game of Thrones fan site, Martin wrote:

 I have decided to put the next two novels of the Songs of Fire and Ice series on hold while I pursue an interesting new idea that I had. Fans need not worry. The two concluding chapters of the Songs of Fire and Ice are already planned out and I will get to them as soon as I have finished the seven novels which will comprise the new series Ditties of Sand and Honey.

A representative for HBO said that the television series will continue regardless and a conclusion based on Martin’s own notes is in sight. Others however have criticised Martin’s meandering narrative – punctuated by the occasional WTF moment – and claim that the author has given up on the series because he has failed to come up with a satisfactory ending.

Martin appeared to address such criticisms in an addendum:

The ending of the books was there right from the very beginning. I knew exactly where the books were going. And if you really can’t wait for me to finish my new saga and get back to the final two books then here is the end. SPOILER FOR THE END OF GAME OF THRONES. We flash forward to the present day and everyone is in a passenger jet on their way to some unknown destination. The Lannisters, the Starks, Daenerys Targaryen all the families and their retainers and hangers on  but they’re all in modern dress. They’re just tourists and business people. Daenerys doesn’t have dragons but a couple of chihuahuas. Suddenly one of the engines of the jet fails and it starts to plummet towards the ocean where a speck like an island begins to appear. The plane crashes on the island and burning wreckage is strewn everywhere. The entire cast is killed except for Jack Shepherd and Locke and Hurley and a few others. The Game of Thrones we realize was a dream that the character collectively had in the last seconds of their lives!

The Chair Contest: Part One: We Begin to Wander will be published in 2019.

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY: 1. DAMON LINDELOF ON STRUCTURE

Our new series will see guest contributors teaching us step by step how to write a screenplay. In this first article, Damon Lindelof explores the mechanics of structure.

Structure is all important. At its most basic it is a three act structure. A beginning, a middle and an end. Morning, noon and night. Birth, f*cking and death: 

Act 1 Something happens

Act 2 Polar bear, and then

Act 3 something else happens. 

Of course, three act structure will only give you the big picture, the tent poles on which you need to stretch the canvas with which you are going to paint the cinematic town red will come later. And metaphors are important too. So after getting your three acts, you’ll need to have another two for the fuller five act structure. 

This goes: 

Act 1 something happens

Act 2 something happens [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 3 other things happen [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 4 something else happens [Act 2 of 3 act structure]

Act 5 ‘resolution’.[Act 3 of the 3 act structure] 

And within this you need character arcs (or sometimes called trajectories). You’ll have about three or four main (or A characters) characters even if you have a few more B characters.

So now you have:

Act 1 Something happens. Type A Protagonist(s) established

Act 2 something else happens Type A protagonist(s) has a problem/mission/dilemma/loses his dog

Act 3 other things happen (Doesn’t matter what: scientists take their helmets off in alien environment, for instance) Type A protagonist(s) has sex with Type B character (usually a ‘woman’)

Act 4 something else happens) Type A Protagonist learns something about themselves or Type B character or not

Act 5 [Act 3 of the 3 act structure] resolution: Type A protagonist realizes they’ve all been dead all along.

Next week Quentin Tarantino discusses writing ‘character’.

LOST MOVIE IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – It’s the news everyone has been waiting for: cult TV show Lost is coming to the big screen in the David Lynch helmed Lost: the Motion Picture.

Scriptwriter Damon Lindelof told the Studio Exec the script was ready and the principal actors ‘had nothing better to do’. He went on:

This will be my opportunity to set things right. I know a lot of people had issues with the show finale and I got a lot of shit for it. I get it. I get the anger. But – having watched Breaking Bad and left Twitter – I think I’m more than capable of pulling this one out of the fire in a way that will surprise and impress many people.

Director David Lynch declared himself enthused with the prospect of bringing his own surreal vision to the material:

When I did Twin Peaks a lot of people went ‘Woah, what is this? A lady with a log?’ And so later when Lost came out, I was like ‘Oh right so this is better? F*cking polar bears?’ But now I met Damon and we can bury the hatchet. I must say I’m impressed with the way Damon has written the script. He employs Eastern meditation techniques, emptying his mind completely and then writing.

Although naturally not wanting to give away any of the ‘plot’, Mr. Lindelof did hint at the direction the film would take:

We’ve scrapped the finale completely. That was a dream that Jack wakes up from after he accidentally inhaled some of his the new batch he was cooking. He needs to rescue Kate and Hurley and the others from some neo-Nazis. So he gets this machine gun and – this is the clever bit – he has it on a robotic thing so it will move from side to side. Anyway that’s all I can say. And he’ll have a shaved head and a goatee.

Lost will be released in 2015. 

BRET EASTON ELLIS OFFERS TO SCRIPT STAR WARS 7

HOLLYWOOD – Bret Easton Ellis has offered to script the new Disney produced Star Wars project due to be directed by J.J. Abrams.

His offer was proffered via a series of tweets which has now become a traditional way for the American Psycho author to try and muscle in on a high profile project.