SCARY-WOOD  – Happy Halloween Folks!

Graves yawn and spew forth vampires, zombies, serial killers, Billy Crystal jokes and ghosts. So, the Studio Exec presents his scientifically proven scariest movies ever made list. Five of the scariest movies ever made. 

Firstly. Mamma Mia! A beautiful idyllic island in Greece seems like paradise on Earth and young Sophie is looking forward to her wedding when the horror and terror which lurks beneath the surface suddenly erupt as Pierce Brosnan turns up to sing. ARRRGGGGHHHHH!! Meryl Streep Sings and ACTS. AAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE! and everyone sings ABBA. ARRHGHGHGHGHGGGGGGHHHHHUURGHHHHHH-cough.

Secondly. Look Who’s Talking 2: As if it isn’t bad enough that one baby is possessed by John McClane the othe one turns out to be possessed by Roseanne Barr. The second sequel to Rosemary’s Baby closed the most frightening chapter in postnatal terror.

Third. Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeekquel: Not only do those irritating horrible little gremlin-like tribbles sing and dance in one movie, enough idiots (AKA children) went to see it for there to be another. The Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Snuff Movie remains alas just a hopeful dream, something to console the desperate in the darkest longest night of the soul.

Four! Jack: Robin Williams appears in a film the trailer of which describes it as the story of a ’10 year old boy trapped in a 40 year old man’s body’. Urrrrggghhhh.

And finally. The Canyons: Not happy with her Christine inspired shocker Herbie Fully Loaded, Lindsay Lohan is back, showing exactly what her curse can wreak on all those around her. Talents such as Bret Easton Ellis, Paul Schrader and even little Jimmy Deen are left carcasses in her bad movie, awful acting wake. Like the cursed video from The Ring, watch this film AND LOSE YOUR SOUL!

Happy Halloween everyone! from the Studio Exec.   


SALINAS – Scientologist and ‘star’ of Cheers, Look Who’s Talking 2 and Fat Actress, Kirstie Alley was honored today at a small civic ceremony in Salinas, California where a narrow road between a disused cinema and a 7-11 was dedicated to the comedienne.

An emotional Ms. Alley commented:

Is this some kind of joke? This is ridiculous. I was told I was being honored with the key of the town or something. You Goddam assholes! I’m gonna rip you all a new one. Get out of my way!

Stopping only to fire her PA and punch Salinas major, Joe Gunter in the crotch sack, Alley then leapt into her car and sped off, leaving the small crowd that had gathered to shrug and mutter about knowing that was going to happen and what are you going to expect.

The Kirstie Alley joins the town historic center which includes a 21 Jump Street and a Chinatown in honor of other Hollywood greats.