TOM HARDY TO PLAY THE FONZ IN HAPPY DAYS SPIN OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Venom and Mad Max star Tom Hardy to Arthur ‘the Fonz’ Fonzarelli in a new Happy Days spin off movie.

fonz

‘Sit on it!’ Tom Hardy says as he comes in the room. He’s preparing for the role of a life time, Arthur the Fonz Fonzarelli. Living upstairs with the Cunninghams, Fonz returns in a new big screen outing and Hardy can’t wait.

I loved Happy Days when I was a kid. Monday – Tuesday – Happy Days! Wednesday – Thursday Happy Days! – the week is through there’s nothing to do rocking all night with youuuuuuuuuu!

Yeah, that’s gr…

These are the days ahhh ahhh ah!

Okay right! Enough! So Ron Howard is directing?

Yeah, having Richie Cunningham is going to be really special. We really want to have the old flavor of the original. That’s why the original Fonz Henry Winkler will be returning as my dad. And other cast members are coming back.

Like Scott Baio.

With Scott, it’s complicated. We have to see if Olive Garden will give him the time off.

The Fonz is Back will be released in 2019.

TOM HARDY’S TATTOOS ‘ARE TRANSFERS’

LONDON – It was revealed today that Tom Hardy’s tattoos are all actually transfers, like the kind that children get.

The Legend and Mad Max: Fury Road star Tom Hardy was accused today of not having real tattoos. A report from the British Government claimed that Mr. Hardy’s tattoos are in fact transfers, like you get for children and that you have to put the paper on the skin and then wet with a sponge before slowly peeling off. The tattoos include a pair of drama masks, the London Skyline, a scorpion, the face of President Andrew Jackson, the face of Scottish actor Gordon Jackson, a quotation from Shelley, and his favorite curry dish Chicken Tikka Masala (‘so I can just point to my right tit when ordering’ explains Hardy). However it has been noted that the tattoos change position and sometimes disappear entirely.

The Government report reads:

Mr. Hardy has posed for photographs in tattoo parlors and many have taken him at his word that the tattoos are authentic. But a source close to MI5 reveals that Mr. Hardy is afraid of needles and prefers to use transfers which are washable. If he needs to appear in a film without his tattoos, some soap and water and a little scrubbing and it all comes off.

The Locke star, Tom Hardy refused to comment on the story but his closest friend Toyah Willcox had this to say:

Tom takes his tattoos very seriously and any idea that he is a big softy who is scared of needles and that the tattoos are merely temporary will be met with Bronson like violence.

Legend is currently in theaters.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TOM HARDY

HOLLYWOOD – We all know that Tom Hardy is one of the most exciting talents to come out of Great Britain since the old days of Benedict Cumberbatch, but what do we really know about him?

We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad into Tom Hardy Country to see what we can find out.

1. Tom’s dad was a novelist. He wrote Tess of the D’Urbevilles, The Mayor of Casterbridge and Far from the Madding Crowd. All popular yarns in their day. Tom Sr. wrote under the name Thomas Hardy and Thomas Jr. chose to go by the diminutive Tom in order to avoid confusion. Thomas Hardy claims to have never seen any of his son’s films on account of being long dead.

2. Tom Hardy is famous for his detailed preparation to roles and commitment to the method. Inspired by Daniel Day Lewis, Tom first becomes Daniel Day Lewis and then imagines Daniel Day Lewis playing the character. Many see this Deep Lewis version of acting as tantamount to body swappage. So for instance his new film Rocketman will feature Hardy playing Daniel Day Lewis playing Elton John.

3.  When Tom played violent criminal Bronson for the film Bronson, Tom prepared by becoming a violent criminal and killed several people before he was arrested and banged up. The next morning the authorities discovered Tom Hardy had somehow got into one of their cells and released him without asking any questions.

4. Tom Hardy will soon appear in Mad Max: Fury Road which was once called Nutty Norman: Miffed Drive. The title was changed to bring it more in line with the Mel Gibson trilogy which made the character famous. George Miller claimed he had only been joking about the title, but a large box of t-shirts with the original art work was found in George Miller’s caravan along with unheard of amounts of bacon.

5. Perhaps Tom’s most famous role to date, Bane saw the enigmatic star play Winston Churchill as a villain. However others prefer Locke where Tom drives a car and not particularly quickly either. He’s also had turns in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The Drop, Warrior and Lawless. On one thing everyone agrees and that is This Means War was donkey crap.

For more FACTS click HERE

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD: SNEAK PEAK

HOLLYWOOD – Last night I got a chance to see – along with some other Hollywood insiders – a rough cut of Mad Max: Fury Road, the new take on the Mad Max series, starring flavor of the hour Tom Hardy

The first thing I suppose I ought to say is that the special effects had largely not been completed and so there were very few, if any, in the version I saw, which obviously means a large part of the film didn’t make much sense and there was far more talking than you probably would expect from your average post-apocalyptic road movie. That said the post-apocalyptic landscape was really dark. By which I mean I couldn’t see hardly anything. It seemed to mostly take place, almost completely, at night. He drives along the motorway and there aren’t actually any chases, or crashes, at least not in this version. Again they’ll probably be added later. 

Tom Hardy is excellent as Max, but he takes him – as you’d expect – in a totally different direction. First, of all he’s Welsh. He has a beard and he talks gently to people, except when he gets a bit upset (or mad I suppose). It’s a much more subtle, nuanced characterization, as he spends a lot of time talking about a ‘cement fill’ and working out some problem he has with his wife and another woman! 

To keep the journalists away and the whole thing very secret they showed the film under another name. And I was quite impressed with the lengths they went to, even dubbing the name into the dialogue so that Max was called Locke throughout the film. But all this will be cleared up by the time of the film’s release sometime next year. 

LOCKE 2: SCRIPT LEAK

HOLLYWOOD – Locke 2 has been green lit and the Studio Exec has managed to get hold of the script EXCLUSIVELY.



EXT. DOCKS – NIGHT

A man, LOCKE, climbs into his motorboat starts the engine and pulls out of the dock on his way to sea. He dials a number on his phone.

MRS LOCKE (O.S.)

 

Hello.

LOCKE (Welsh)

Oh, hello, it’s only me.

MRS LOCKE (O.S.)

Hello, darling are you on your way home? Can you stop and pick up some sausages? The boys want to eat sausages before the big game.

LOCKE

Ah, now, see. That’s why I’m phoning see.

MRS LOCKE

What’s that noise? Are you on the motorboat?

LOCKE

Just hear me out Marjory. I’m going to put everything right. I have to explain everything and then I’m going to put it all right. 

LOCKE

Yes, you see. You remember last December when I was working on that oil rig project. Well, I was very lonely, very lonely and, well there was this lovely engineer called Daphne.

MRS LOCKE

Not again.

LOCKE

This is the only time this has ever happened to me. I’m a good man, not like my bastard father. 

 MRS LOCKE

Darling, I’ve got you a speaker phone.

LOCKE SR. 

Hello, son.

LOCKE

Oh, bugger. Sorry dad. I didn’t mean you. I meant my other dad.

LOCKE SR.

Are you really on a speedboat son?

LOCKE

Yes, dad.

LOCKE SR.

It’s a bit like Speed 2, isn’t it?

LOCKE 

It is nothing like Speed 2, nothing at all. 

LOCKE JRs.

It’s exactly like Speed 2 dad.

LOCKE 

Get off the phone sons. I love you sons, but I am nothing like Jason Patrick. Do you understand me? For one I’m Welsh. Oh that’s it. I’m turning the bloody boat around and coming home.

 MRS LOCKE 

Remember to get some sausages.

LOCKE slows the boat in order to turn it around. As it goes under 20 mph it explodes showering the ocean with bits of Locke’s manly Welsh beard.

THE END

LOCKE: REVIEW

LOCKE: REVIEW – A man (Tom Hardy) in a car drives somewhere. The man is Welsh and has a head cold.

On such slim premises masterpieces are built. He shouldn’t be going where he’s driving. His sons are waiting for him to come and watch the match. There’s a big job at the massive building site which he is supposed to be overseeing. The drive will cost him his job, his family and everything that makes him who he is, but he is going to do it anyway, because it is what is right. That’s Locke. Named after John Locke, the enlightenment philosopher who first came up with the Theory of the Mind and identity. It is a fitting name because that’s exactly who Locke is. A mind trying to keep his identity coherent and intact despite the vagaries of the world around him, and the conflicting demands his own conflicting nature make on him. 

In what is effectively a one room drama, Tom Hardy cements his reputation as the most interesting and committed actor of his generation.  Stephen Knight directs from his own screenplay, knocked up in super fast time, and is canny in maintaining the minimalist purity of his initial concept.  This is melodrama done with exceptional aplomb. Get in the car and go see it.

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