LARRY VAUGHN TO HEAD THE CDC

AMITY – Former Mayor of Amity, Larry Vaughn tapped to head the CDC.

Unsuccessful presidential candidate and popular mayor Larry Vaughn will take over the CDC from Friday, the White House announced today. Robert Redfield currently heads the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, but will step down. Vaughn first came to prominence during his tenure as mayor of Amity, a small town which was terrorized by a Great White Shark. It is this experience of crisis management which caught President Donald Trump’s eye.

A source from the White House told the Studio Exec:

Larry has lots of experience. He knows how to balance public safety with the need to keep the economy running. We’re also looking to the long term. We would like everything to be back to normal by July the 4th, something he is keen on also.

Vaughn himself told the press he looks forward to taking over the position.

I see myself and President Trump as very much cast from the same mold. We’re both businessmen, but we’re also fathers, and even grandfathers, I think. Coronavirus is getting all the headlines at the moment but people don’t seem to realise that sharks are now an endangered species. Surely, the time has come to wipe them out entirely.

Larry Vaughn is available for Bar Mitzvahs, Birthday Parties and public speaking engagements.

TRUMP PICKS DEREK VINYARD AS SECRETARY OF STATE

WASHINGTON – President Elect Donald Trump picks Derek Vinyard as his Secretary of State.

Neo-Nazi Derek Vinyard is to be Donald Trump’s new Secretary of State. Vinyard was made famous by the 1998 film starring Edward Norton.

As cabinet posts begin to fill up, many political commentators are seeing a worrying trend. Max Ballast told the Studio Exec:

Not only is Vinyard a racist and an extremely dangerous and violent man, I’m pretty sure he’s a fictional character.

However, House Speaker Paul Ryan defended Trump’s choices, saying that it was another example of how Trump was breaking with the political elites and going with what the people want:

I think with Boss Hogg taking the Treasury and Larry Vaughn handling the EPA, Trump is confounding his critics and putting together a team who are ready to confront the problems of this country. Fictional characters can offer a lot more than professional insiders and lobbyists who currently run Washington. After all, if you start question if Derek is real you might as well as if Donald Trump is real too.

Edward Norton himself said that he is disturbed by the use of his character as if he were a real person.

I hope that we can start bringing the country together. I really don’t think that Derek is a model for that.

President Elect Trump will begin the apocalypse in January 2017.

LARRY VAUGHN TAKES LEAD IN THE POLLS

AMITY – Independent Presidential candidate Larry Vaughn looks set to steal the election from the two former favorites Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

Following a week of scandals, outsider Larry Vaughn is about to pull off one of the biggest upsets in US political history. Despite criticisms of his ‘keeping the beaches open’ policy, the former mayor of Amity leads all the polls by seven points. Florida is the latest state to topple for Vaughn, but Arizona, Nevada and Idaho are expected to follow suit on Tuesday.

His running mate Walter Peck told the Studio Exec that Larry Vaughn is leading a movement:

People are just so mad about mainstream politicians always talking down to them. Donald Trump grabbing pussy and Hillary Clinton’s shenanigans turn people off. But Larry tells is how it is.

With his anti-vandalism policy – ‘Hang them up by their Buster Browns!’ – and his support of small business, Vaughns speaks to the hopes and aspirations of a middle class  who feel Washington has let them down. At his rallies, Vaughners dress in anchor themed jackets and chant ‘You Yell Shark! You Yell Shark!’, often drowning out Vaughn’s speeches. The rhetoric is often fiery though short on policy detail, other than the much repeated refrain of ‘I’m not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock.’

For more on Larry Vaughn’s meteoric rise to power, CLICK HERE.

BARON HARKONNEN WITHDRAWS SUPPORT FROM DONALD TRUMP

WASHINGTON – Baron Harkonnen today has become the latest member of the GOP to withdraw his support from the party’s presidential candidate Donald Trump.

The news follows a number of high profile desertions, including House Speaker, Paul Ryan. However, Harkonnen’s switch will be particularly painful as he is in fact a relative of the Reality star turned candidate. In a statement issued from Giedi Prime, the Baron told the Studio Exec his reasons:

I feel that Donald Trump has brought disrepute to the Republican Party and to the Harkonnens. We are a long line of sexual deviants and predators and his mealy mouthed apologizing is a disgrace. I myself bathe in the blood of adolescents every morning and you don’t hear me giving any explanations to anybody. I shall be voting for Larry Vaughn on the ticket and I hope Donald will step aside and allow this true Republican to take his place.

There has been no comment from the Trump camp.

LARRY VAUGHN SHOCKING STATEMENT ON WOMEN

AMITY – Former Amity (it means friendship) mayor and front runner in the Republican primaries, Larry Vaughn has run into hot water with a candid interview about women and abortion.

Larry Vaughn, the unlikely maverick candidate who is currently ahead in the polls to snatch the Republican nomination, has run into trouble in a candid interview about women and abortion. Vaughn told Anderson Cooper of ABC News:

I was mayor of Amity and Amity as you know means life and so of course I’m pro-life. It’s good for business and we’re going to have the best July 4th you ever saw.

But when the conversation turned to legal specifics, Larry Vaughn had this to say. Referring to ‘some king of punishment’ for women who sought illegal abortions, he went on to say:

We should hang them up by their buster browns.

A bemused Anderson Cooper asked what exactly that meant, but the candidate refused to be more forthcoming, preferring to concentrate on his keeping the beaches open policy.

Larry Vaughn for President 2016.

 

SEAN PENN AND LOUIS CK DENOUNCE LARRY VAUGHN

HOLLYWOOD – Hollywood liberals Sean Penn and Louis CK have decided that the time to speak up is upon us and have set about savaging Larry Vaughn, the former mayor of Amity who is currently the front runner in the race for the Republican nomination.

A ferocious week of attacks on Larry Vaughn appeared to loosen his grip on the Republican presidential race on “Super Saturday”, with his rival for the Republican nomination, conservative champion, Ted Cruz winning convincingly in the Republican caucus in Kansas. Cruz also won by a similar margin in Maine, before Vaughn underlined his national advantage with victories in Louisiana and Kentucky. This comes in the wake of stinging attacks from many quarters of his own party and the liberal media.

Sean Penn in an interview for Chapeau said that a Vaughn presidency would be a disaster:

This is the man who opened the beaches, knowing full well that a predator, a great white shark was hunting in the region. This reckless endangerment of lives would be multiplied if he were to be placed in the position of running the country.

Louis CK wrote a letter to his fans and in his trademark wry manner asked them to vote for anyone but Vaughn:

Do you want the man who oversaw the 1977 shark attacks to be the man carrying the nuclear codes. I mean look at the record. There was no way those injuries were consistent with a boating accident. And he knew that.

The Vaughn juggernaut however continues to plough on and the chances of stopping him are becoming increasingly slim.

For more political news on the progress of Larry Vaughn’s Presidential Bid CLICK HERE.

WALTER PECK ENDORSES LARRY VAUGHN

NEW YORK – The former minor functionary of New York and leader of the Tea Party Walter Peck has endorsed Larry Vaughn in a move which looks likely to strengthen his candidacy.

Walter Peck first came to national prominence during the ‘Ghostbusters scandals’ of the mid-Eighties in which large parts of downtown New York were infested by paranormal entities which were busted by a crew of unlicensed undead pest control merchants. Peck was then working for the Environmental Protection Agency. Although his role in the affair was unclear, Peck soon began to climb the ladder of the civil service before moving into politics and finally becoming a spokesperson for the Tea Party movement.

He spoke with the Studio Exec about Larry Vaughn and his endorsement:

What you have in government at the moment is a complete unbridled usurpation of power from the citizens of this country. We need to take back the country and Larry Vaughn is the man to do it. He is the man who is not afraid to do the risky thing if it means promoting the economic welfare of his people. He is the man who in crisis thinks about the concerns of the bankers and the businessmen before he does the safety of the people and the children. He is a man who’s not afraid to yell barracuda, but who will never yell shark.

For more on Vaughn 2016, CLICK HERE.

 

LARRY VAUGHN WINS BIG ON SUPER TUESDAY

WASHINGTON – Former Amity Major Larry Vaughn looks to have his hands on the GOP Presidential nomination following a strong performance on Super Tuesday.

Despite having come into the Presidential nomination race late, Larry Vaughn has gone from novelty to likely candidate, having won big on Super Tuesday. Following his win in Nevada, Vaughn has taken seven of the eleven states up for grabs tonight. Winning big in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Vermont and Virginia, Vaughn is also expected to take Alaska. Rival Ted Cruz won home state of Texas while Hillary Clinton swept the South, strengthening her claim to be the Democrat nominee.

In a victory speech in Georgia, Vaughn repeated his campaign promises to build a coastal wall against shark attacks, introduce karate chopping proof fences and hang offenders up ‘by their Buster Browns!’ Despite having had a tough week in the press with high profile critic oceanographer Matt Hooper once more attacking him, Vaughn’s optimism and breezy style seems to have captured the enthusiasm of the Republican base. He told cheering fans:

We are going to the White House. We are going to be the next President of the United States of America. We are not going to let that Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!

For more on Vaughn 2016, CLICK HERE.

STUDIO EXEC ENDORSES LARRY VAUGHN FOR PRESIDENT

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec has announced that following his win in Nevada, Larry Vaughn is the only Presidential candidate who can take this country back.

The Studio Exec has largely tried to stay above the political fray that is currently sweeping our great nation. Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton on the part of the Democrats and Donald Trump, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz on the part of the GOP have been locked in endless coil, littering our newspapers and the internet with copious amounts of entertainment: none of it amusing, some of it scary. His surprise triumph in the Republican Primaries in Nevada has seen previously little known mayor Larry Vaughn thrust into the national limelight. And the Studio Exec has decided.

Only Larry can save this country and keep the beaches open. After all, Larry is a friend of business – more so perhaps than Donald Trump. He has a good relationship with law enforcement, able to control the law and make sure that it does his bidding. He has a good rapport also with the locals. If you need a shark fisherman, Larry knows where to go, or at least he used to. The last one died. Larry Vaughn isn’t exactly a man you can trust, but he is a politician and I’d rather have a politician run the country than a fictional character like Donald Trump.

I will be wielding the considerable power of The Studio Exec media empire and placing it at Larry’s disposal.

After all, his kids were on that beach too.

If you want to support Larry Vaughn for President, join the conversation in the comments box below.

For more political news on the progress of Larry Vaughn’s Presidential Bid CLICK HERE.

LARRY VAUGHN WINS NEVADA

NEVADA – Larry Vaughn has won the Nevada caucus beating front runners Donald Trump, Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio in what is being described as a stunning upset for the GOP.

The Nevada victory is the first that Larry Vaughn has registered having polled so poorly that he was not even featured in the televised Republican Debates. Larry Vaughn first came to national prominence as Mayor of the small island town of Amity in the 1970s. His leadership was called into question after he insisted on keeping the beaches open despite a series of deadly shark attacks. When quized about the attacks and the fact that they might damage his campaign he responded to reporters:

Love to prove that wouldn’t you. get your name in the National Geographic.

Running on a platform of stopping vandalism – ‘especially kids karate chopping fences’ – and climate skepticism – ‘You say sunscreen on the Fourth of July, and you’ve got panic!’ – Vaughn has come to prominence largely because of the paucity of serious candidates. One Nevada voted told the Studio Exec:

At least we know that Larry Vaughnis friend to the businessman. He’ll do his darnedest to keep tourism going no matter what the dangers. He doesn’t like the Richard Dreyfuss type of snooty intellectual. All those things sit well with me. And who else am I going to vote for Donald Trump? If I’m going to vote for a fictional character I might as well go hog wild.

However, President Vaughn is by no means a foredrawn conclusion. Mrs Kitner is only one of many voices who still hold against his candidacy, branding Vaughn untrustworthy when it comes to issues such as integrity and defending bathing children from shark attack.

Image provided by good friend to the Studio Exec @BetterDuck

For more political news on the progress of Larry Vaughn’s Presidential Bid CLICK HERE.