CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM NEWS MET WITH TOO MUCH ENTHUSIASM

HOLLYWOOD – The news that there would be a ninth season of Curb Your Enthusiasm was met with gleeful joy yesterday, upsetting the creator and star of the show Larry David.

Everyone’s favorite curmudgeon is back! Larry David will be complaining about how difficult it is to park and how awkward social situations can be for another season, although he has already threatened to withdraw the new season after the news of its imminence was greeted with enthusiasm by fans.

David told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Firstly, the clue is in the Goddamned title. What are you not listening? Do I have to spell it out in bigger letters? Should I have called the show Just F*cking Die (Already) with the already in brackets? I don’t get it. This internet culture. You have everyone hooked on the news of what television is going to be on in six to eight months. There was a time we were just happy that something was good on tonight. Man buns!

But people are happy Larry!

Well, they shouldn’t be. People are happy? Of course they’re happy. They’re stupid. I mean: grown men wearing shorts. What is that about? The only people who ought to wear running shoes are people who go running and even then I don’t see why they can’t wear a sturdy pair of brown leather shoes. Indiana Jones went around the world, fighting Nazis, French archaeologists and Thuggees all in a pair of comfortable brown leather shoes and a decent pair of long trousers.

But what has that to do with anything?

Haven’t you seen my show? What has anything got to do with anything? Jesus Christ Exec! I feel like I’m going crazy here.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 9 will be broadcast on HBO.

SNEAK PEEK: MILEY CYRUS AND WOODY ALLEN COLLABORATION

NEW YORK – Miley Cyrus and Woody Allen’s new show has only just begun filming but we have managed to sneak a peek of a still from the show, tentatively titled When Woody Met Miley.

Miley Cyrus and Woody Allen came in to the Studio Exec brown stone to talk about their new project.

How did you first get involved with the project?

Miley Cyrus: I’ve worked in television for years and it has always been a medium I’m very comfortable with. My recording career is going well and I think the time has come to maybe go back and see what I can do. The time has come I think.

Woody Allen: I’m very excited. I mean I’ve always been a fan of Ms. Cyrus’ work since back when she was Hannah Montana. I mean I never missed an episode. As a matter of fact I would tape them and watch them over and over again. I think some of the tapes got worn out and I thought ‘Oh my God if I ever get a chance of working with this angel, I’d just leap at it’ and so when Amazon offered me a choice in casting I told them Miley Cyrus and oh, Elaine May.

What will the show be about?

Miley Cyrus: This is what I was so psyched about. I mean it’s no secret that the Hannah Montana image has been something of an albatross, as grateful as I am for the boost it gave my career at the start. I talked to Woody and I know he’s an artist and we can do something really original and different from that.

Woody Allen: I’ve already written the whole series. There are six half hour episodes and Miley is going to play Hannah Montana, a pop star who has become really famous, but she maintains her private life by taking on a different persona, that of Miley Stewart.

Miley: Woody, that’s the plot of Hannah Montana!

Woody: Yes you see I started writing it as a kind of fan fiction I suppose. My God, I’ve written reams of the stuff. Most of it involves Miley falling into swimming pools with her clothes on, or having a paint fight with her friends. And I play her boyfriend…

Miley: Whoa! What?

Woody: … and everyone is saying he’s too old for her. And it’s actually very funny. Though we do make some serious points about the age gap and the differences between generations. You remember Manhattan? It’s kind of like that but instead of Mariel Hemingway there’s Miley and food fights, and I come in and say ‘You’re having a pajama party!? At this hour!?’ And there’s lots of confusion. Larry David begged me to play the role and I said ‘I’m too old’ and he said I wasn’t so here I am.

When Woody Met Miley will be out on Amazon in the Summer.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

WOODY ALLEN TO DIRECT GAME OF THRONES SPIN OFF

HOLLYWOOD – Film director and comedy clarinet player, Woody Allen has signed up to write a Game of Thrones spin off for Amazon.

The New York based director spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec shortly after penning the deal:

I’m absolutely delighted to have this opportunity. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but cinematically I’ve been treading-water for some time – I mean Midnight in Paris? What a crock! – and I feel I need a real stimulus to get the old juices flowing again.

Great. So what is the show going to be like?

Well, as you know there has been a hell of a lot of great TV about in recent years. And I feel really inspired by what’s out there. Especially by the Scandinavian crime series. I’m talking about the original version of The Killing, Borgen and The Bridge. When I first began thinking seriously about cinema, my main influence was obviously Ingmar Bergman. Well, now I’m going to do TV I want to do something that is dark and traumatic, grief laden, snowy, violent and dark. Did I say dark already?

Yes. But what about the sort of short form comedy that might be more suited to your talents?

Nah. That’s already been done. Look at Louis CK and Larry David. They’ve done more Woody Allen TV than I could ever do. What am I going to do? Walk around New York complaining about the state of my relationships? Girls does that. Why bother going over old ground?

So Scandinavian thrillers it is?

That are dark. And in Swedish. Yeah, but look, I’m not making the mistake I made with Interiors and just make something slavishly similar to my inspiration. No. I want it to be different and I’m a huge fan of Game of Thrones, so I’m going to have some dragons and some full on CGI battles. It’s going to be aces! My idea is this will be what happens beyond the Wall.

That sounds like a mishmash.

Thank you. I’ve mapped out my story. In the small snow bound Wildling township of Bergan north of the Wall, there has been a series of horrible ritual murders. Two cops from the Black Watch are investigating. Peter Dinklage is going to star as the Imp. He’s gone to the black watch after killing his dad. I suppose I should’ve said spoiler or something. Oh, and I’ve got the idea Bill Cosby could play the older cop, but he hasn’t got back to me, so that’s one’s on hold for the time being. Strange Bill’s usually very punctilious about such things.

He might be busy.

Figures. He’s still got it. Oh and there’s going to be a vile matriarch, the leader of the White Walkers called something like Pia Barrow, or Ria Sparrow. Something like that. I haven’t quite thought that one through.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Scandinavian Dragon Murders, but Were Too Afraid to Ask will be shown on Amazon sometime in 2016.

 

MODERN FAMILY STARS ASK EMMYS TO STOP REWARDING SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – In a shock statement the stars of Modern Family have requested the Emmys stop rewarding them.

‘It’s getting embarrassing,’ said Ed O’Neill, who plays ageing patriarch Jay. ‘We have to walk past Larry David and Louis CK to pick up this award every year and I just can’t look them in the eyes.’

‘Enough already,’ said Ty Burrell who plays Phil Dunphy. ‘It’s actually making people hate the show. I’d vote for Community, but it doesn’t even get a nomination. That’s just such BS.’

Christopher Lloyd one of the show’s creators said late last night:

I created the Goddamn show and I can tell you it is not that good. There are other shows. Jesus. I mean the documentary thing for a start. That’s just a lame rip off of The Office and we’ve never been able to get shot of it. You put that beside the innovation of Louis CK or Veep or Community… Enough already.

Jon Stewart also bashed the awards as The Daily Show won its tenth (TENTH!) consecutive Emmy for outstanding variety show, beating Real Time with Bill Maher.

A Modern Family Movie is due for release in 2017.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOODY ALLEN

HOLLYWOOD – Comedian, actor, director, writer and hat model Woody Allen has long been considered the funniest bespectacled madcap that New York has ever produced (sorry, Billy Crystal).

And yet, how much do we really know about the zany? Exclusively, the Studio Exec is going to give you 5 FACT zingers to the one best known as Woody ‘Joey Nickels’ Allen.

  1. Woody Allen isn’t actually Jewish. As an ambitious young comedian, the WASP Trevor Allen changed his name to Allan Stewart Koningsberg and from thence to Woody Allen.  
  2. Woody writes the scripts to his films in long hand on A4 yellow legal pads. In the left hand corner of the scripts he draws every scene of the movie so that potential investors who are too busy to read can flick through the script and see an animated version of the film play out.
  3. Woody Allen is famous for casting avatars for himself in his films. Kenneth Brannagh, Owen Wilson, John Cusack and Larry David have all played Woody Allen. As a tribute to Allen, director James Cameron based the whole story of Avatar on Woody Allen’s method.
  4. Woody Allen gets paid money from European cities if he sets his films there. He gets special bonuses if the films aren’t too funny. So far he has received bonuses from Paris, Rome, London and Barcelona. 
  5. Woody Allen has a long running feud with Mel Gibson that spills over into violence whenever the two men meet. Despite their apparent difference in terms of physical dynamism, Allen has given Gibson a head slapping on every single occasion. (For more on that story CLICK HERE).

For more FACTS click HERE.

SACHA BARON COHEN SAYS HE IS NOT MITT ROMNEY


















LONDON – Sacha Baron Cohen has come out today and explicitly denied that he is in fact Mitt Romney.

‘I am not Mitt Romney,’ he said reading from a prepared statement via satellite phone. ‘I am not pretending to be a character named Mitt Romney, a buffoonish right winger who keeps dropping hilarious clangers. This is not a character who will appear in my new movie Mitt Romney: Borat Comes Home, in cinemas nationwide from March 2013. That is all I have to say.’

Cohen – famous for his outrageous satirical creations such as Borat, Ali G and Bruno – has more recently appeared in less prank-style and more conventional features such as Hugo and The Dictator. However, rumors spread that he was preparing a return to the punk’d territory with which he made his name when some people noted that Mitt Romney’s head looked like it was being worn by a comic actor who was uttering the most laughable bile. 

Following a series of gaffs – something about Libya and something else about people who are so stupid that they don’t even have one million dollars – the rumours began to be taken more seriously. Larry David – a keen Cohen fan – said today ‘It’s obvious that this is Sacha. In a way I’m a little disappointed. I expect a little bit more subtlety from the man.’

“Mitt Romney” refused to comment.