MAX LANDIS EXPLAINS WHITEWASHING: ‘RACISM IS THE NEW BLACK’

HOLLYWOOD – In an attempt to explain the recent spate of whitewashing, film screenwriter Max Landis argued that ‘racism was the new black’ and that everyone should ‘just get over it.’

Speaking on a YouTube clip, Max Landis writer of Chronicle and American Ultra addressed the criticism of the casting of white actors in non-white roles, such as Scarlett Johansson in Ghost in the Shell and Tilda Swinton in Kung Fu and Doctor Strange. Landis spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec via the YouTube video:

People are upset and they’re blaming everyone, but those people do not understand how this industry works and I know this is going to sound like mansplaining or white ‘splaining or whatever but I feel that it has to be said. Today if you want a big budget movie to have any chance of making back its money you need a white person or Will Smith to star in it. Maybe two white people maybe more. Because simply, Hollywood is racist and I’m not talking about a few bad apples, I mean the whole industry. But look so are the audiences. China is so racist it doesn’t even know what the word racism means. It just thinks that its racism is factual. Europe is racist. Africa is racist central. There was a time that racism was a white thing but now everyone is racism. It’s basically the new black.

Following the release of Max Landis’ video, everyone agreed with what he said and then started talking about Game of Thrones.

Max Landis is currently working on a musical version of Roots starring Justin Bieber.

FIRST IMAGE OF TILDA SWINTON AS CAINE IN KUNG FU MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Following the female remake of Ghostbusters 3, Tilda Swinton is to take on the iconic David Carradine role of Caine in Kung Fu.

Kung Fu, the shortlived cult TV show that broadcast from 1972-1975, is to be remade as a motion picture starring Tilda Swinton in the role of Caine.

Caine leaves China when her master is assassinated. She wanders the Wild West in search of her sister, but also righting wrongs and using her skills as a Kung Fu master to bring wrongdoers to justice.

Swinton spoke to Studio Exec about her role.

I’m very pleased because I had already shaved my head for my role in Doctor Strange, so it was a twofer. I loved the TV show and I feel that the time is right for this sort of story. And why not a woman? I don’t even feel that’s a question anymore.

And what do you say to people who say that this is another example of white washing?

Well, yeah, guilty as charged. I like that! Except I’m not sure Caine was ever supposed to be Chinese in the original, but we wrote that he was Chinese in this one just so that we could do a bit of extra whitewashing.

 Kung Fu will be released in 2018.

 

BEASTMASTER TO HOST OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – In a surprise move it was revealed today that the Oscars will no longer be hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, who has moved aside to be replaced by Beastmaster.

The How I Met Your Mother star spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec about the shift:

Of course I was really excited about the gig. I had worked on material and we were going to do song and dance numbers as well. But late Friday night the call came in that Beastmaster was going to be available after all. And the minute I heard that I acquiesced. This is a historic moment in Oscar history.

Beastmaster had been approached in the early 1980s to host the Oscars but had consistently refused claiming that the awards ceremony was an infantile way of judging a medium which ‘should aspire to artistic relevance and genuine profundity, not these feeble trinkets’. Despite this the Academy continued to woo Beastmaster for three decades claiming that ‘What with the animal demographic alone, he could make the show a spectacular success.’

Beastmaster was born in a realm of fantasy and despite living the humble life of a hero and demi-God, he gained fame in 1982 when he was the subject of the film Beastmaster starring Marc Singer. Two sequels and a TV series followed, but lately Beastmaster’s powers have been on the wane. Uma Thurman, a longstanding critic of Beastmaster told Studio Exec:

I met Beastmaster when we were making Kill Bill Volume 2. He was great buddies with David Carradine and he came on location. It was sad really. This guy had commanded lions and mountain wolves, eagles and bison. Now he had this little otter on a string that he’d jerk and pretend was coming to his summons. It was pathetic.

What do you think of him presenting the Oscars?

Oh that’ll be great. He’ll bring his A game, I’m sure.

The Oscars will be broadcast on Sunday. 

BURTON CRASHES DEPP WEDDING

LA – Eccentric director, Tim Burton has been remanded in custody by the LA police after he crashed Johnny Depp’s wedding to Amber Heard.

“It was quite the scene”, said photographer Ed Shmuck:

Amber was walking down the aisle when a visibly drunk Burton appeared from nowhere and hit her over the back of the head with a chair. He was immediately restrained by a few members of Johnny’s entourage but Tim fought back. He broke one guys nose with an impressive roundhouse kick and then he produced a pair of nunchuks and all hell broke loose.

According to Shmuck, Burton was eventually subdued and began screaming and foaming at the mouth:

He shouted over to Johnny “YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME YOU BASTARD!” and “YOU COMPLETE ME!” It was only when Amber picked herself up from the floor and kicked him unconscious did the terrible wailing stop.

Both Depp and Heard were unavailable for comment but Burton’s ex-wife Helena Bonham Carter told The Studio Exec that she wasn’t at all surprised:

“There were three of us in that marriage, so it was a bit crowded”, said Carter:

Johnny has tried to distance himself so Tim took up Kung Fu to take his mind of it. I knew it would all end in tears and I’m just relived he never brandished his ninja stars.

Asked if the incident would lead to the Alice in Wonderland sequel being shelved, Carter sighed:

Well, we can only f*cking hope so.