JAMES GUNN KUNDUN REMAKE GREENLIT

Hollywood – Disney today announced they have greenlit a James Gunn Kundun remake.

The Suicide Squad director will helm a remake of the Scorsese tale of the young Dalai Lama. With the James Gunn Kundun remake greenlit, The Guardians director promises it will be an all action CGI spectacular. The Exec sat down to talk remakes and Scorsese with Gunn.


 

How will your Kundun be different to the Scorsese version?

“What many people don’t know about the early life of the Dalai Lama, he was a hyper-violent vigilante. He would often dress up in a costume, sneak out of the monastery and fight crime.”

 

Was there much crime to fight in rural Tibet?

“Oh shit, yeah. There were gangs of psychopathic supervillains everywhere. But many of them had superpowers. Luckily, the Dalai Lama can fly with his rocket boots. So, many nights, he would put his Walkman on, listen to Bowie and fly around looking for criminals.”

 

That sounds a bit like Star Lord from Guardians?

“No. It’s completely and totally different. Honest.”

 

Who is playing the Dalai Lama?

“Chris Pratt. Because he has the right balance of physicality, spirituality and slapstick comedy chops. Michael Rooker will play the Chinese Government representative who shafts the Lama. But in this version, the Lama doesn’t go into exile. There’s gonna be a huge CGI fight between the two. Because Skyscrapers blowing up everywhere as they fly around in their laser-ships is true cinema.”

 

What do you think Martin Scorsese will make of this, given his recent comments?

“Marty? He wrote the fucking script! This was the story he originally wanted to tell but couldn’t get the funding. He wanted to film mid-air battles but the technology wasn’t available. People are making a whole thing about what Marty said. But it’s all misdirection, believe me. Taxi Driver would never have ended like that if he’d had a decent budget. Travis Bickle would have become a masked vigilante. Goodfellas would have had a running gun battle like Heat. It’s all bullshit.”

 

James Gunn’s Kundun Begins Filming Next Month

SCORSESE LAND OPENS NEXT MONTH

NEW YORK – In New Jersey the finishing touches are being put on Scorsese Land, the new theme park inspired by and dedicated to the imagination and work of motor mouth film director, Martin Scorsese.

Park administrator Russel Stamper said today:

Marty is recognized by many to be perhaps the most influential American film director still alive and working today [although Coppola is a late challenger with Twixt] and the park seeks to celebrate his legacy and stand as a testament to the enduring pleasure his films have given over the years.


Attractions include

  • a tour of Shutter Island Gasp as you predict the ending about seven minutes in!
  • the Cape Fear Water ride protect your family from the tattooed lunatic played by former actor Robert de Niro; 
  • watch your crazy reflection just go plain crazy in the ‘Are you Talking to Me?’ Hall of Mirrors; 
  • the Go Home and Get your F*cking Shine Box Ride in which you and your friends will be beaten to a bloody pulp and then locked in a car trunk and taken out to the sticks to be stabbed to death by one of Ma’s steak knifes; 
  • relax in the Age of Innocence rest area for seniors 
  • and the whole family can enjoy a steak (bloody) at one of the five Raging Bull Steak Houses located in the park.    
If you visit the park this weekend and quote this website with the declaration: ‘I read Studio Exec and I saw Kundun‘ you will be granted free admission.