THE PHANTOM MENU: THE LIAM NEESON COOKBOOK

The Phantom Menu: The Liam Neeson Cookbook is released today. Written by the Michael Collins star, Liam Neeson, every recipe is connected to a film that the The Big Man has appeared in by a dubious pun.

The Studio Exec met Mr Neeson in his Hollywood kitchen where -surrounded by a film crew – he walked us through the dishes included in the book. ‘I’ve always liked food,’ Neeson said. ‘I like cooking it, I like preparing it and I like eating it. What’s wrong with that?’
Nothing.

Good. Because I travel with work there are a lot of different nationalities. For instance, we have here the Bavarian themed Schnitzel’s List, a lightly bread crumbed chicken breast fried it butter and rosemary. What do you think? 

Neeson offered me a forkful and I tasted it. ‘Delicious!’
Each plate was arranged like a work of art.

And here we have the traditional English Steak and Kinsey Pie with Battle Chips. For the fish lover, I have The A Bream and Cod Roy and for the daring The Grey.

Steak and Kinsey Pie

The slab of thick meat quivers under a drizzle of olive oil. That wouldn’t be..?

It’s wolf.

Right.

Taste it.

I’m not sure…

Taste it.

Delicious.

Dark Ham, Hash of the Titans and Lamb.

Lamb? What’s the pun? I mean it’s… lamb.

I was in a film called LambBut you know I don’t just like eating in, sometimes I get tired of cooking. And do you know what I say?

Let’s get a Taken Away?

That was my fucking joke.

Oh sorry.
Neeson hangs his head and looks desperately unhappy. Then he walks out of the room. He doesn’t come back and after forty minutes I decide it would be better if I left. 

The Phantom Menu: The Liam Neeson Cook Book is available from all good book shops and the proceeds will be added to those of the A Team, Taken and Taken 2, all of which sit in Liam Neeson’s bank accounts.

BREAKING DAWN PART 2 IS RADICALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE BOOK

 HOLLYWOOD – The countdown to the release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part Two has started and Bill Condon, the director has spoken for the first time about how radically different the film will be to the Stephenie Meyer book: ‘The fans are going to shit their pants.’

‘We followed the book really closely in the other films,’ said Condon, whose previous credits include the marvellous Kinsey and Gods and Monsters. ‘The problem is all the fans have read the books and know what’s going to happen, so we thought this is the last one let’s just go hog wild.’

Although Condon fought shy of giving too many details, he made flying space ships gestures and machine guns sounds with his mouth and then some tap dancing, and then huge explosions. One thing Condon was clear about: ‘There’ll be a lot less of all that Edward and Bella and Jacob bullshit,’ said Condon. ‘That stuff got old fast.’

Fans can make up their own minds about the new direction when the film comes out in mid-November.