RYAN GOSLING TO STAR IN LEISURE SUIT LARRY

HOLLYWOOD – Fresh from the news that Daisy Ridley is a contender to play Lara Croft in a reboot of the Tomb Raider franchise, Ryan Gosling has announced he is to take on the coveted role of Leisure Suit Larry in Kevin Smith’s adaptation of the classic computer game.

The Studio Exec sat down with Gosling to discuss the long-awaited picture:

Ryan, how did you get involved?

Kevin and I have been discussing the project for years. Way back when we tried to get an adaptation of Jet Set Willy off the ground but at the time, Scorsese owned the rights and he’d pegged Daniel-Day-Lewis to play Willy. We looked at some other options, Space Harrier, Chase HQ, but eventually we decided that Leisure Suit Larry was the way to go.

How much input did you have in the script?

There was already a script. William Goldman had written one back in 1988 and Paul Verhoeven was due to direct with Michael Douglas in the lead role but they had funding problems. So Kevin and I took the bones of the script and put our own stamp on it. To be fair, Kevin did most of the writing I just threw in a few ideas.

What drew you to the character of Larry?

He’s a loveable rogue. Sure he gambles, drinks and sleeps with hookers but he’s got a heart of gold. He’s just looking for love but in all the wrong places. I based him on an ageing Leonardo DiCaprio but of course, Leo doesn’t need to pay for hookers , he dates models.

How have you prepared for the role?

I just went to Las Vegas for two months and did all the things a responsible adult with any sense of self-worth wouldn’t do, like, going to see Britney Spears’ live show, for example.

What have you got lined up next?

If Larry does well Kevin and I have talked about making an adaptation of Treasure Island Dizzy.

Amazing. Why Dizzy?

It’s just a classic and since I was a kid I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be an egg.

Leisure Suit Larry is due in 2018.

MORGAN FREEMAN TO STAR IN REEFER MADNESS

HOLLYWOOD – Oscar winning actor Morgan Freeman is to star in what is being described as a tongue-in-cheek postmodern take on 1930s cult classic Reefer Madness.

Morgan Freeman will play Dr. Alfred Carroll, a high school principle who tries to instruct parents of the danger that soft drugs pose for their children. The 1936 original was directed by Louis J Gasnier and financed by a church organisation was straight forward anti-drugs propaganda. The new version will be directed by Kevin Smith and is being described as an ironic take on anti-drugs hysteria.

Morgan Freeman dropped by to the Studio Exec bungalow earlier today to talk EXCLUSIVELY about the film:

The thing is Kevin, Kevin Smith, he has such a … vision. You know. He can see things. I’ve always admired that. I saw Clerks and I thought I really want to work with this cat, but we never had a project we can do together but then I thought what if we found a project and the one we could make, but I wouldn’t know which one, not really. I mean I’m kind of hungry. Are you guys hungry? What have you got for snacks?

Just these M&Ms Terrence Malick left. Here you go.

Oh, very cool. Yeah so we had the project set up and we thought the script was pretty funny. I mean not laugh out loud funny, but you know think about it and smile funny. A long dreamy smile. And we said who shall we get to direct it and I thought I honestly don’t know . And then someone –  I think it was me – said, Kevin Smith. And I said, what film has he done? And then I remembered, he did Clerks! I dug that movie. I’m just going to lie here. Oh wait my hand has gone to sleep. These M&Ms don’t have peanuts in them.

No. They’re chocolate M&Ms.

Oh that’s cool. What did Terry say when he had them?

He freaked out.

I’m not surprised. If Terry don’t get his peanut M&Ms he goes ballistic. He’s some crazy loon. Did you see Tree of Life?

Yeah. 

And?

Didn’t make much sense.

Did you see it stoned?

No. 

No? Well, let me tell you, it makes even less sense when you’re stoned! Ha ha ha! [15 minutes of giggles].

Reefer Madness will be released in 2018.

TUSK: REVIEW

TUSK: REVIEW – Based on a Podcast, a roaming journalist Wallace (Justin Long) at a loss for a story tracks down an old eccentric, Howard Howe (Michael Parks), with a weird story to tell about shipwreck, survival and a horrible obsession with a Walrus.

Kevin Smith is the kind of director who gets drunk, or high, and shoots the shit with his pals and has one of those ideas and everyone’s laughing because it’s so crazy and funny and stupid, but when Kevin Smith wakes up in the morning and finds the notes he scrawled on the napkins and the bar mats, where most of us would toss them and reach for Advil, Smith sits at his computer and begins to diligently turn them into a screenplay. As Dr. Jeff Goldblum might say, ‘You were so preoccupied with working out if you could, you never thought about if you should.’

The result is Tusk, a horror-comedy where the horror is silly and unscary and the comedy is horrifyingly bad. Michael Park, who was so good in Smith’s Red State, is once more asked to carry the film, and though a fine actor really does need better material than this whimsical fart gas.  The presence of Johnny Depp doing one of his ‘comic turns’ as a rogue Canadian police officer only adds to the feel that this is far more about the cast and crew having a gas, than any idea of telling a story for a potentially interested audience. It’s so indulgent I imagine everyone got fat making it. The most frightening moment is seeing how weird that little kid from The Sixth Sense looks as an adult. In fact, a better film might have been focussed on him alone and how he deals with having to live in a world where Bruce Willis is no longer dead.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE .

FIGHT CLUB: BRUCE WILLIS VS KEVIN SMITH

It’s a sad fact that not everyone in Hollywood gets along. Bette Davis tried to kill Joan Crawford with a hand grenade, John Wayne poisoned Gary Cooper’s wife and George Clooney punched David O’Russell in the testicles. Continue reading “FIGHT CLUB: BRUCE WILLIS VS KEVIN SMITH”

ZACH SNYDER POSTS NEW BATMOBILE PIC

GOTHAM – Zach Snyder has leaked an EXCLUSIVE sneak peek of the new Batmobile which will feature in the upcoming film: Batman Vs Superman: The Dawn of Justice.

Zach accompanied the picture with a short message to all his fans:

So here it is. Sometimes it’s so difficult to keep a secret when you know what you’ve got is awesome. Admittedly, we haven’t got the budget we wanted, but still, just imagine Ben Affleck suited up and driving this bad boy around the mean streets of Gotham.

Reaction to the picture was immediate with Variety calling it ‘a radical re-imagining’ and Hollywood Reporter immediately linking the apparent lo-fi design to the current political climate: ‘It looks cheap.’ Many fans were angered at the idea that the car was obviously not American made. ‘Herr Batman might drive this,’ said one enraged fan. ‘But not Mr. Bruce Wayne.’

However, Uber-geek Kevin Smith described how he fainted on seeing the picture and needed some seconds before he was able to give a considered response:

Awe. Some. I mean. God Damn it! This looks like combining not only Batman and Superman, two of my favorite pop cultural phenomena, but also Herbie from The Love Bug. I’ve just come so much I’ve lost about seven pounds.

Batman vs Superman: The Dawn of Justice will be released in March, 2016.

 

KEVIN SMITH’S PAC-MAN MOVIE IS OFFICIALLY CANCELLED


Paramount announced this morning that Kevin Smith‘s adaptation of the classic 80’s arcade game Pac-Man has ceased pre-production.
We were weeks away from shooting,’ said a studio insider:

But then somebody upstairs accidentally read the script thinking it was a copy of Forbes magazine and the call came to stop everything. Kevin was really distraught, I mean like crying snot bubbles distraught. To be honest it was a sorry, and occasionally stomach churning, sight.

Smith has spent two years working on the movie and last month in a interview with Ain’t it Cool he claimed this was going to be his ‘Best work to date’, but the studio insider disagrees.

Nobody had really bothered reading it as he was doing it for less than 2 million which was Reese Witherspoon’s bar tab last month. As the end of pre-production approached, I read it and it was terrible. Basically, it was Clerks 3 but they dressed Silent Bob up as Pac-Man and the rest of the cast put sheets on their heads and chased him around the convenience store for 2 hours whilst he ate Twinkies. That was bad enough but in other places it was just vulgar. At one point Pac-Man slips into a diabetic coma and Jay fellates him to wake him up but that doesn’t work so they all urinate on him whilst talking about which dead celebrity they’d like to fist f*k. This was supposed to be a kids’ movie for Christ sake!

According to renown critic Peter Travers, obscenity was not Smith’s only crime.

I heard that in one scene Pac-Man implies that he’s Catholic which wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t murdered by the ghosts in the third act only to be resurrected by the ‘Coins of God’ in the 4th. Hollywood just won’t commission anything they consider to be Christian propaganda. So it just goes to show if he’d written Pac-Man as a Jew, the cameras might be rolling as we speak.

KEVIN SMITH SHOCK: ‘I RETIRE’

Brain Freeze



TEXAS – Kevin Smith – ‘film’ ‘director’ and ‘actor’ – has blown the world of social media to smithereens with his news that he is going to retire after he has finished making Clerks 3. The reaction was instantaneous and almost unanimous. Abelard Haverland wrote in The New York Times: ‘Why can’t he retire before he makes Clerks 3?’
The director first came to prominence twenty years ago with the original Clerks movie, a low key, semi-funny black and white indie Miramax film. Since then his films have ranged from the awful Jersey Girl to the fucking awful Cop Out, with the occasional exception that only goes to annoy everyone more because it proves that Smith is not a complete turd.

Smith recently posted the title page of his screenplay to Clerks 3 commenting that it looks like his best film ever. Coming from someone else this might be dismissed as shameless self-promotion, but from Kevin Smith it’s just evidence that the post was genuinely from Kevin Smith.