NO ONE DIRECTION SONGS IN DUNKIRK TRAILER

HOLLYWOOD – The first trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk dropped, disappointing many One Direction fans.

The trailer for Christopher Nolan’s first foray into comedy Dunkirk hit the internet today. However, One Direction fans felt a little disappointed that the soundtrack didn’t give a taste of any new One Direction material. Christopher Nolan told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that fans shouldn’t panic:

Look, we haven’t put any songs in the trailer. Neither have we given the whole story away in the trailer either, or all the lines. We want to hold something back. And the One Direction songs, which will include a cover of Rio by Duran Duran, exist as an integral part of the story.

However, One Directioners everywhere, or 1Ders, or 1 D1rect1oners or… well them, fumed across internet message boards. Joey1dLover wrote:

This is bullsh1t!

Another one – Another1Done – wrote:

Shitty bull balls and horse’s piss flaps. Who are all these soldiers and why did Harry have to cut his ha1r?

The film set for a summer release tells the story of the retreat and evacuation of the British army from the beaches of France in 1940. It stars Tom Hardy, Kenneth Branagh, Cillian Murphy, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Naill Horan, Liam Payne and Mark Rylance. Though rumors of an appearance by Zayn Malik remain unconfirmed.

Dunkirk will be released in 2017.

TOM WAITS RULES HIMSELF OUT AS NEW BATMAN

HOLLYWOOD – Veteran singer/songwriter and actor Tom Waits has ruled himself out of the lead role in the new Batman to be directed by Woody Allen and to begin filming in early 2019.

The gravelly voiced graveyard crooner Tom Waits has been called in to take over from Ben Affleck after he removed himself from the role following dissappointing reviews of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Woody Allen is to take over writing and directing from Zack Snyder who apologized to fans for the mess he had made. ‘I screwed up,’ he told the Studio Exec.

Waits said that he was very flattered by Allen’s invitation but he felt he was ‘too old for the part’.

The bespectacled zany said that Waits had asked him ‘if he was high’ when Allen first approached him about the role. Waits has appeared in a number of films, including most recently Seven Psychopaths.

‘Batman is a very physical role, with lots of fighting and running and jumping and I don’t know if I have the energy for it any more,’ said Waits.

Woody Allen will now be calling on his next choice – Kenneth Brannagh – who is said to be ‘mad keen’ on the idea.

For more on the Woody Allen Batman read here.

STEVEN SEAGAL’S FEMINIST BOOK CLUB: 1. A VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN

HOLLYWOOD – Welcome to Steven Seagal’s Feminist Book Club! 

Hi, I’m Steven Seagal, star of such hits as A Dangerous Man, Driven to Kill and Against the Dark

Every week I’m going to be looking at a classic of feminist literature and reviewing it. I would be really pleased to hear your own reactions as you read along with me. Feel free to use the comments box and let’s get a real dialogue going. Today, I’m reviewing Mary Wollstonecraft’s A Vindication of the Rights of Women.


Nowadays, Mary Wollstonecraft is perhaps most famous for being the mother of the authoress of Frankenstein which later became the inspiration for Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie. However, in her time and for us feminists, Wollstonecraft is the inspiration of a whole movement which sought to unravel and overthrow patriarchy and bring women to a knowledge of their own self-power. Although many have disputed how far the book can be viewed as feminism as opposed to proto-feminism, given the context of male oppression, the book written in 1792 was fundamental in valorizing female work and attempting to promote women away from being viewed merely as objects and wives, and more towards being companions and equals.
Okay. But what about some of the downsides? Well, first of all although this is a landmark piece of thinking, it is a rather dry philosophical tract that some might find difficult to keep up with. Also, there are no fight scenes, absolutely zero. Ditto round house kicks. Although she does bring up the topic of domestic violence that just isn’t the kind of violence that one can truly enjoy.

Conclusion: 

Feminism: a foundational text: 10/10 
Martial Arts: scarse:  2/10
Total: 6/10

For more of Steven Seagal’s Feminist Book Group Click Here. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOODY ALLEN

HOLLYWOOD – Comedian, actor, director, writer and hat model Woody Allen has long been considered the funniest bespectacled madcap that New York has ever produced (sorry, Billy Crystal).

And yet, how much do we really know about the zany? Exclusively, the Studio Exec is going to give you 5 FACT zingers to the one best known as Woody ‘Joey Nickels’ Allen.

  1. Woody Allen isn’t actually Jewish. As an ambitious young comedian, the WASP Trevor Allen changed his name to Allan Stewart Koningsberg and from thence to Woody Allen.  
  2. Woody writes the scripts to his films in long hand on A4 yellow legal pads. In the left hand corner of the scripts he draws every scene of the movie so that potential investors who are too busy to read can flick through the script and see an animated version of the film play out.
  3. Woody Allen is famous for casting avatars for himself in his films. Kenneth Brannagh, Owen Wilson, John Cusack and Larry David have all played Woody Allen. As a tribute to Allen, director James Cameron based the whole story of Avatar on Woody Allen’s method.
  4. Woody Allen gets paid money from European cities if he sets his films there. He gets special bonuses if the films aren’t too funny. So far he has received bonuses from Paris, Rome, London and Barcelona. 
  5. Woody Allen has a long running feud with Mel Gibson that spills over into violence whenever the two men meet. Despite their apparent difference in terms of physical dynamism, Allen has given Gibson a head slapping on every single occasion. (For more on that story CLICK HERE).

For more FACTS click HERE.

WOODY ALLEN REVEALS HIS NEW BATMAN: EDDIE MARSAN

HOLLYWOOD – Woody Allen’s new Batman film took a decisive step forward today, with the announcement of a principle cast.

The English character actor, Eddie Marsan has snaffled up the choice lead role with Kenneth Brannagh appearing as arch-villain the Riddler. Diane Keaton plays Cat Woman and Scarlett Johansson … Scarlett J… Scarlett… will play Bat Girl. Woody is also expected to appear briefly as the Joker, ‘Because you know… I used to be  …  I mean I was .. kind of a comedian’ the director joked in his trademark bespectacled fashion.

The new film – provisionally entitled To Gotham with Love – is due to begin shooting in March.

The story is simplicity itself. I went straight back to the original Dostoevsky novels and so we open with Batman in his psychiatrist’s office and he’s worried about the length of his cape. And what that means. And then he’s got Bat Girl who is like his ward, so kind of like his adopted step daughter, but at the same time she has these big bazoomers and he feels conflicted.

What about the choice of the Riddler as villain?

Yeah, the Riddler is a perfect character, because he comes in with these conundrums, but he’s also delivering some killer lines, and then on a deeper level if you think about it, he’s the guy who understands the essential gnomic quality of existence. I mean why are we here? is a real question and he asks it with ever riddle and so Batman will have to spend a lot of time in the library brushing up on his Spinoza.

And Eddie Marsan?

I saw Eddie in Tyrannosaur and  New World and Miami Vice, War Horse, Sherlock Holmes. He’s even in 21 Grams. He’s a great actor, capable of disappearing into his roles and I thought to myself I bet this guy does a really good Woody Allen impression. Sure enough I was right.