GET BACK 2 – PLEASE F*CK OFF GREENLIT

HOLLYWOOD – After the runaway success of Peter Jackson’s Get Back Beatles documentary, Disney have announced a sequel entitled Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off and has already started filming. This time around Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off will be a docu-drama based on The Smith’s ex frontman and erotic fiction author, Morrissey. The film is being directed by Shane Meadows and stars Paddy Considine in the lead role. The Exec spoke with Meadows about his latest project.

Shane, Please Tell Us About Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off

Peter (Jackson) called me up and said that Disney were driving truck after truck of money up his drive in an effort to get a sequel to Get Back. He didn’t want to helm it and thought my northern English roots made me the perfect choice to direct what is essentially a Morrissey biopic.

Has Morrissey Been Involved In This Project?

F*ck no! We wouldn’t let him anywhere near a Disney project. In fact we don’t even the rights to use any of his music, solo or with The Smiths. He refused. But to be honest, we kinds think that’s a good thing. Have you ever heard him? Jesus Christ, what a noise.

So You’re Not A Morrissey Fan?

Is anyone these days? Even if you were, you wouldn’t admit it. You’d be cancelled in seconds. But seriously, no I’m not. Just because I’m from that Manchester generation of creatives, doesn’t automatically make me a Morrissey disciple, all that warbling and jangling. Don’t hang the DJ, tell him to turn it up so we can’t hear any more from that insufferable bore.

How Close Have You Stuck To A True Story?

Oh, not all. We’ve really gone for ‘dramatic license’. Paddy is doing a marvelous job playing Morrissey as the tormented inventor of the British invasion to the States and Tom Hardy plays Johnny Marr like a cross between Keith Richards and George Best. It’s gonna be a real hatchet job. We’re gonna get sued by everyone, but thankfully it’s a Disney gig, so they can pay for lawyers.

Get Back 2 – Please F*ck Off Is Due For Release In Early 2022

KEITH RICHARDS ACCIDENTALLY SMOKES JOHNNY DEPP

PARIS – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has smoked Ed Wood and Donnie Brasco actor Johnny Depp.

Who’s Smoking Johnny Depp? Apparently piratical rock legend Keith Richards. The immolation followed by inhalation took place late last night in Paris, France. An eyewitness spoke with Studio Exec this afternoon.

Johnny and Keith always get together whenever they can and they’re often kinda crazy nights. Goblets of wine are drunk, crackers with cheese are eaten and yes sometimes something is smoked. Neither Johnny nor Keith have ever made any bones about their recreational use. Well, this evening the smoke was thick in the room and Keith was rolling, let’s say. And when the sun came up, Keith realized he was on his own. All that was left of Johnny was his hat and a vague air of disappointment.

However, some are claiming that the Pirates of the Caribbean star intentionally had himself smoked to escape his legal troubles. Entertainment reporter Xavier Poulis argues:

Depp has been in trouble. His movies aren’t hitting the sweet spot. His finances are a mess. And his marriage collapsed. He knows what Keith his like. He knows never to sit in-between the Keith’s hand and the rolling papers.

Although suicide by Richards can’t be ruled out, there are some that argue that Depp hasn’t been smoked at all and this is all some elaborate joke. Those people obviously don’t know Keith Richards.

Johnny Depp’s new film a remake of Cheech and Chong’s Up in Smoke will be released in 2020.

 

THE KURGAN HUNTS KEITH RICHARDS AS THE GATHERING APPROACHES

HOLLYWOOD – As the Gathering approaches, sources reveal that the Kurgan is in the United States of America and is hunting Keith Richards.

Concerns have been raised following the news that the Kurgan is currently on the loose and hunting down Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. Kurgan watchers in Russia noted his absence several months ago, but it was presumed that he was off on a shopping/killing spree.

‘Every now and then the Kurgan feels the itch and if he doesn’t surface in some war torn part of the world he’s usually at Harrods in London running up a massive credit card bill,’ said Kurgan watcher P.E. Stephens.  However, when the Kurgan resurfaced once more he was no longer in Europe and rumors have it that he is on the trail of noted guitarist and Johnny Depp imitator Keith Richards.

Stephens continues:

It isn’t the best news in the world for Richards. The Kurgan is a formidable opponent and the recent death of Lord Byron, sorry you knew him I think as David Bowie, shows that something is happening with the Immortals and that usually signals the approach of the Gathering. The moment when the Immortals must come together and fight for the Prize, usually a record deal or a movie. I think this year it’s going to be a series on HBO.

However, fans of the grizzled rocker are keen to point that Keith has so far defeated all comers and stands a good chance against the Russian bruiser. Friend and bandmate Charlie Watts told the Studio Exec:

Keith don’t have nuffin to worry about. That Kurgan geezer? Keith shits tougher shits than him every morning and flushes them away.

The Gathering will be televised on Fox in August.