MICHAEL FASSBENDER IN WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – Following his new take on Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs, the first poster for Michael Fassbender’s new version of the Kutcher classic What Happens in Vegas has hit the internet.

You have to admire his nerve. Michael Fassbender is making good on his promise to remake every Ashton Kutcher film with himself in the roles that many believed the Kutch had made definitively his own. The second remake What Happens in Vegas has already finished filming and a poster featuring Fassbender and co-star Cameron Diaz has already been released.  The 2008 was a critical and commercial smash firmly cementing Diaz and Kutcher in the minds of the cinema-going public as a new Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy of comedy. Although Fassbender has called co-star Cameron Diaz in to reprise her role of career girl Joy, who marries playboy Jack Fuller (Kutcher/Michael Fassbender) in a drunken stupor, director Michael Vaughan has been replaced by Fassbender favourite Andrea Arnold.

Fassbender came into the Studio Exec bungalow to talk about his obsession:

What Andrea brings to the project is a woman’s perspective and I thought this was very important. I love the way Cameron Diaz plays her role in the original and I didn’t want to change a thing about that. Neither do I want to diverge overly from Ashton’s masterful interpretation. HIs lightness of touch, his subtlety, the nuances, the line readings, his over the shoulder reaction shots. Look at the poster. Just the way he has that grin and he points at Cameron as if to say ‘I know, right!’ it is possibly the biggest challenge of my career to go up against that. At least with Steve Jobs I could pretend I was interested in the real Steve Jobs, but here it was undiluted Kutcher.

What do you bring that is different to the role?

Nothing at all. Jesus Christ, are you high? I want to imitate Ashton down to the smallest particular. The details. This is a loving reproduction, not a reinterpretation. How would I ever have the gall to do that?

What Happens in Vegas will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

SIR EDWIN FLUFFER REMEMBERS EDWARD G. ROBINSON

 HOLLYWOOD – It was Edward G. Robinson on the phone.

There’d been a raffle in the staff canteen over at Warner Bros in aid of orphaned goats and he’d won two tickets to the circus. Tod Browning had offered him $20 for the pair but dear Ed was giving me first refusal.

Everyone in Tinsel Town knew of my love for the big top. My darling mother had been a bearded lady and one of my fathers had left the adoring crowds open mouthed and speechless by riding the strong man bareback. I asked Groucho Marx to come along with me even though I knew his pathological fear of clowns meant I would have to hold his hand the whole time. 

But what a night! And what a show! We went backstage after to congratulate the artists who kindly presented us with a tiger. This is the circus folk’s traditional way of asking you to stop making eyes at Sandra The Sword Swallowing Sylph and kindly leave. We finally managed to lose it on the set of Bringing up Baby where I’m afraid it caused all sorts of problems for Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, and Groucho later turned the entire incident into that marvellous picture Nights at the Circus.

I spoke to my lawyer about it but was poorly advised and ended up trying to sue him for regicide.

But that’s another story…

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CITIZEN FLUFFER AND ORSON WELLES

One never forgets the first time one met Orson Welles, or Orson Cart as he didn’t like me to call him.

I was fast asleep at the time, but suddenly awoke when I heard the unmistakable sound of my garbage can being knocked over. Armed only with a torch, and with little concern for my own safety, I went out to see what had happened. It was rather a chilly night so I went indoors and put on a suitable pair of pyjamas, picked up the torch again, headed back outside, and there was Orson Welles. He was picking through the trash looking for food, and the driveway was in a terrible state. 
I was furious! 
Not with dear Orson of course, but with Burt Lancaster. He’d been leaving out scraps for Claudette Colbert and Academy Award winner Walter Huston had warned him this would happen. 
I chased Orson away and swept up the mess, but I knew he’d return before long, and probably not alone. 
I’d been back in bed for less than an hour before my slumbers were disturbed again. Orson was back and this time he had Gary Cooper with him! Over the next few nights I tried everything to keep them away; Spencer Tracy helped me put out some barbed wire, I lay bear traps, but nothing would stop them. My next door neighbour, Greta Garbo, caught them trying to burrow under her fence. In the end I had to stop leaving the trash outside and kept the bags in my garage, but they still got in. My son kept his sledge there and one night I saw Orson running off with it under his arm. We never got it back again! 
I really was at the end of my tether, so we had no choice but to get a Harpo Marx. I used to chain him to a tree a in the yard, and although he wouldn’t bark, he looked jolly fierce. After a couple of nights it seemed to have done the trick and they stopped bothering us. The family loved Harpo and we would take him for walks and get him to chase a ball or fetch a stick. There was an unfortunate incident in the park one day when he started humping Debbie Reynolds who was being taken for a walk by darling Katherine Hepburn, but that’s another story.