HIDDEN GEMS: 27. GHOSTBUSTERS

Hidden Gems brings to light little known film gems which have somehow slipped through the collective cinematic consciousness. You’re welcome.

If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters.

Everybody loves Ghostbusters.

Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones starred in the iconic 2016 supernatural comedy, packed with thrills and chills. But did you know that the movie is actually a ‘remake’?

No? Don’t sweat it nobody does.

Released in 1984, the original Ghostbusters starred Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis as three paranormal investigators. They enter the private sector as ‘ghostbusters’ and Sigourney Weaver is a client who finds herself possessed by an ancient deity.

Although the special effects are very dated and the acting doesn’t stand comparison, the film does has a certain 80s charm. This is mostly due to Rick Moranis, an actor who bestrode the decade like a comic colossus. And then mysteriously disappeared to dedicate his life to being Canadian full-time.

Nowadays, it is very difficult to watch without making comparisons with the later definitive version, but the caper has more than a curiosity value. It is worth rediscovering as a ‘hidden gem’.

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PEOPLE WITH VAGINAS ALSO FUNNY, HOLLYWOOD LEARNS

HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed today that people with vaginas can also be funny.

The release of the female led Ghostbusters reboot has taken everyone by surprise. The new film starring Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy has been warmly received, despite a bunch of dicks trying to do down its IMDb score, because they’re … well … dicks.

Industry analyst Xavier Poulis told the Studio Exec:

This idea that people with vaginas can be funny is not actually a new thing. In the past we had some great film comediennes like Madeline Kahn, Bernadette Peters, Diane Keaton and Goldie Hawn to name but four. However, there has always been a prevailing idea in the big studios that men are funnier than women and that’s what the public want to see. But now with Tina Fey, Sarah Silverman, Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer and Melissa McCarthy consistently bringing in high end critical and commercial successes to the big screen. There needs to be a rethink.

Where does this leave people with penises?

Also we have to look at the other side of the ledger. People with penises. Penii. Okay those. Adam Sandler, Kevin Hart, Kevin James, increasingly Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Robert deNiro, James Franco, Seth Rogen… maybe it’s time to consider the idea that people with penises aren’t so equipped for comedy. Especially since the frat boy idea of gross out comedy took the ascendancy and became essentially the only comedy we see these days.

Ghostbusters is in theaters.

MAN ANGRY AT GHOSTBUSTERS REMAKE STARTS CRYING

HOLLYWOOD – A bunch of men who are furious at the all female remake of beloved mediochre comedy Ghostbusters have started weeping, it was revealed today.

As the day draws close that will see the release of the Ghostbusters remake starring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, men very angry have started to go to the bathroom to have little cries.

Ted Nungent told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It’s not fair. They ruin everything, with their dresses and periods. It’ll probably end up being like some kind of tea party.  I know that if I catch myself having a few sniffles it isn’t my fault. So sometimes I just go somewhere quiet all by myself and bawl my eyes out.

Stephen Baldwin was also furious, but frustrated as to where he put his anger his voice broke into a tremulous whisper and he blinked away the streaming tears:

Ghostbusters for most men of my generation was our Vietnam. And to remake it with ovaries and vulvas and useful nipples… it’s like you’re spitting on the memory of all those men who died making Ghostbusters and Ghsotbusters 2.

Dan Aykroyd, who starred in the original film, said that he sympathized with the reactions of some men.

I’ve seen the movie and I know it is really good, but I understand how meaningful Ghostbusters is to many men and anyway we all need to cry. I remember when we made Dragnet – I cried all year. I was dehydrated I cried so much.

Ghostbusters will be released in July.

5 EASTER EGGS IN THE GHOSTBUSTERS TRAILER

HOLLYWOOD – The new Ghostbusters movie got its first trailer this week and the internet did a back flip and two treble double nelsons in delight.

The Studio Exec watched the new Ghostbusters remake with some trepidation and was ready to find all the Easter eggs and other goodies hidden in Paul Feig’s take on the classic 80’s paranormal comedy starring Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray. We discovered the secret Easter Eggs and here they are. All five of them.

  1. The Ghostbusters are WOMEN! This is unbelievable. I mean… women! Talk about crossing the Goddamned streams.  Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy’s particle physicists join with Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones, the latter is not well educated but brings sass because she is ‘black’.
  2. There are no men Ghostbusters, but just women. Thor is a nerdy janitor!
  3. The women Ghostbusters get puked on by the Slimer, just to show that women can do the same sort of brain dead comedy gunk as the men.
  4. They drive an extremely similar car; the black actor is still the only non-scientist and graffiti is used to consign some sort of ‘street’ legitimacy to the whole proceeding. And I know this is not strictly legitimate and we haven’t seen enough to properly judge, but good Christ it really does look like comedy by committee and as funny as a very small coffin. These are talented people who are very creative and I’m sure that the film is going to be wonderful, but I do wish they were making their own film, their own idea, which would then be rebooted twenty years from now.
  5. There are no Easter Eggs. Easter Eggs are made of chocolate and there is often a gift or something inside. I watched the trailer three times and I’ll be buggered with a rusty rod if I found even one.

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