HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec received this manifesto from a group styling itself the Nicholas Cage Revolutionary Party. Here it is in full.
We of THE PEOPLE’S DEMOCRATIC REVOLUTIONARY NICOLAS CAGE PARTY invite all those sick of the TYRANNY of quality and the OPPRESSIVE strictures of nuance, subtlety and believe-ability to unite under the banner of NICOLAS CAGE and fight for ham, OTT ludicrousness and incredibly dumb career choices.
Already cells of PDRNCP activists are infiltrating television, radio, the internets and cinema to diffuse little known comic book adaptations; to take the most talented action directors from the East and make tiresome straight to video fare and to make a Da Vinci Code knock off which makes the original look like Tarkovsky.
You will know a fellow PDRNCP activist via the secret greeting:
THE BEES!!!! THE BEES!!! NO NOT THAT, NOT THE BEES!!! ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
- We will make Daniel Day-Lewis wish he’d never won an Oscar.
- We will worship ELVIS and marry any surviving relative he has going.
- We will occasionally do something extraordinarily good just to make everyone scratch their heads about the general bullshit of the rest of it.
- We will hold the record for the most one word film titles: Stolen (2012) Trespass (2011) Justice (2011) Knowing (2009) Next (2007)Adaptation, Sonny, Windtalkers, Moonstruck, Birdy …