BRET EASTON ELLIS OFFERS TO SCRIPT STAR WARS 7

HOLLYWOOD – Bret Easton Ellis has offered to script the new Disney produced Star Wars project due to be directed by J.J. Abrams.

His offer was proffered via a series of tweets which has now become a traditional way for the American Psycho author to try and muscle in on a high profile project.

SPIELBERG LOSES DINOSAUR

SAN FRANCISCO – Film director, Steven Spielberg admitted today that one of his dinosaurs is missing.

The dinosaurs that were being kept on an isolated island in the Pacific by his new BFF Peter Jackson, while Spielberg made up his mind whether or not to make Jurassic Park 4

Toby Turns, animal handler, criticised the bearded Duel director saying, ‘They were just lumped together and allowed to roam free. There were holes they could fall down. Not natural holes, mind. Pete Jackson would helicopter in at the weekend and dig them himself. I mean I say holes, they were more like traps.’

A shamefaced Spielberg said that he leant Terry Malick a couple of dinosaurs but hadn’t been able to get the reclusive director on the phone: ‘He isn’t even answering his Facebook messages.’


The dinosaur – a Velociraptor – is said to be ‘dangerous-ish’ and that if seen: ‘it’s probably too late the two either side of you are going to get you anyway.’

Jurassic World is to be released in 2015.