MARK ZUCKERBERG AND PRISCILLA CHAN PLEDGE $3 BILLION TO STOP KEVIN HART MAKING FILMS

HOLLYWOOD – Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan today pledged a whopping $3 billion in a campaign to stop Kevin Hart making films.

Following the announcement that they were going to pledge 99% of their Facebook shares to charitable causes, Priscilla Chan and Mark Zuckerberg yesterday made good on their promise by pledging $3 billion to fund a campaign to stop Kevin Hart from making films. Making the announcement in San Francisco Wednesday, Dr Chan said the work to stop Kevin Hart making films was ‘an achievable goal, if not in our lifetime, certainly in the lifetime of our children.’ She went on to explain:

Kevin Hart is one of many comedians who has parlayed a reputation in the clubs into a successful movie career. But the films of all these guys are rotten. Just terrible. Kevin Hart is one of the worst examples. So we’re going to target him specifically and with the funds of the Chan Zuckerberg Foundation see if we can’t eliminate, reduce or at least manage all Kevin hart movies.

Responding to critics who said there were worse problems in the world, Dr. Chan replied:

Oh really?

Kevin Hart himself issued no statement, busy making Journey with Lara Croft to Jumanji Kong with Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson.

 

FIRST IMAGE OF JOURNEY WITH LARA CROFT TO JUMANJI KONG

HOLLYWOOD – The first image has been released from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s new film, the multi-movie mash-up: Journey With Lara Croft to Jumanji Kong.

The photograph shows the cast in costume posing in the jungle on Skull Island.  Dwayne Johnson plays Dr. Smolder Bravestone and Kevin Hart his dumbass sidekick Moose Finbar. Karen Gillan is seen in the role of Lara Croft and Jack Black reprises his role as Carl Denham. Jack Black spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

You could look at the picture and say what happened to Jack Black? I mean, the guy used to star in movies and now he’s playing third fiddle to a wrestler and Kevin Hart, but that isn’t the way I look at it. I see it as the opportunity to pay tribute to three or four great movie franchises. Jumanji, Lara Croft, Journey to the Whatever and King Kong. Oh, and Central Intelligence as well I suppose. I have to say that last one or Kevin gets pissed and tells everyone not to give me food.

Journey with Lara Croft to Jumanji Kong will be released in 2017.