ETHAN HAWKE AND JULIE DELPY CONDEMNED BY FRENCH COURT

PARIS – Stars of Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy were today found guilty in a French court of having ‘defrauded the public’, a charge which could lead to a hefty fine and a short custodial sentence if the ruling is upheld.

The pair instantly lodged an appeal. 

French Magistrate Pierre Fantin stated in his judgement that:

M. Hawke and Madame Delpy have consistently and with malice of forethought raised our expectations as to what to expect when a stranger starts talking to you on a train. Untold damage has been done, with young French women in particular being made vulnerable to danger of assault, when – believing they are at the start of a life long romance – they fall for any old line from a pubicly hirsute backpacking American now. There has been an astronomic rise in the amount of semi-funny babble and meandering anecdote telling, and as heart warming as that is, it also deserves punishment.

The White House today took the unusual step of commenting on the judgement, saying that ‘It was no more damaging than When Harry Met Sally.’  The director of the films – who was not named in the original charges – Richard Linklater said that the case was preposterous and would not deter the team for reuniting for a prequel that was currently being planned. ‘This is a story many have grown to love and I think we will do justice to that,’ said Linklater. ‘Unlike the French court.’

Before Before Sunrise, Sunset and Midnight will be released in 2015.

BRETT RATNER REBOOTS THREE COLORS TRILOGY

HOLLYWOOD – Brett Ratner announced plans to remake Krzysztof Kieslowski’s prestigious Three Colors Trilogy. The Rush Hour 2 director said he loved the originals and wanted his versions to be thought of as a homage to the genius of the Polish director’s vision.

But whilst admiring the complex themes and often striking cinematography Ratner always thought ‘there was too much reading involved’ so his version is going to be in American. Kieslowski’s triptych of films was based on the colors of the French flag (blue, white and red) and each story was loosely based on Liberty, Equality and Fraternity: the motto of post-revolutionary France. Ratner has already declared that he will reverse the order to red, white and blue, because ‘you know, our flag, red, white and blue thing.’ The original trilogy also features outstanding performances from the actresses Juliet Binoche, Julie Delpy and Irene Jacob.

‘Casting is everything,’ Mr. Ratner said. ‘We have Julia Roberts, Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox already on  board.’

The first of the trilogy, Three Colors: Red, will be directed by Brett Ratner, whereas Three Colors: White and Three: Colors Blue will be given to guest director while Brett Ratner takes on an executive producing role.

Brett Ratner’s Three Colors: Red will be released in 2015.