JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT TURNS UP TO FORCE AWAKENS PREMIERE DRESSED LIKE KERMIT

HOLLYWOOD – Star of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and 50/50, Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned up to the Star Wars: Force Awakens première in Los Angeles tonight, dressed like a Muppet.

In some sad sack Cosplay attempt, Joseph Gordon-Levitt turned up to the first screening of Star Wars: The Force Awakens dressed in his pyjamas and with his face green and some home-made ears. A stormtrooper standing by told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I really liked Looper, but today Joseph Gordon Levitt was a sad embarrassment to the very serious business of Cosplay. We dedicate our time and energy to getting our costumes precisely accurate, but Levitt turns up and the asshole’s got the wrong movie.

Cheers and Hunger Games star, Woody Harrelson defended the actor saying, ‘Maybe he thought Kermit was in the picture.’ But everyone knows that Harrelson is always high so an endorsement from his mouth is almost worse than nothing. When asked what on earth he was thinking turning up to a Star Wars event dressed as a Muppet, Gordon-Levitt laughed it off:

Right, Muppet! Fantastic. After four hundred years so Kermity you will be. Ha ha!

Everyone agreed that it made no sense whatsoever. Noted linguist Noam Chomsky posted a video on YouTube criticizing Gordon-Levitt’s syntax. ‘It’s all wrong,’ he concluded.

Could this be the end of Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s career?

Use the comment box below to tell us what you think.

To read our Star Wars: The Force Awakens SPOILER FREE review CLICK HERE!

EDWARD SNOWDEN JOINS GOOGLE PLUS

HOLLYWOOD – Edward Snowden made headlines recently when he joined Twitter, but what many people don’t know is he also joined Google Plus.

Speaking to political Blog The Runtler, Edward Snowden commented for the first time on his foray into social media:

Of course the reason I am on Twitter seems to me obvious. I wish to maintain a high profile online presence and I want to argue for the freedom of the individual and against the oppressive surveillance of the state. But I also obviously am very concerned about privacy and I fear that Twitter will be an intrusive drain on my time. So to address this I’ve also joined Google Plus, which uniquely will give me a place to be alone while I am on the internet.

Oliver Stone who is directing a film on Snowden’s life starring Joseph Gordon Levitt had this to say:

Edward Snowden is one of the most principled men I have ever met and the fact that he is on Twitter is phenomenal. But his joining Google Plus is just more evidence of how dedicated this man is, in protecting himself, like a digital hermit, from the overload of the modern world.

Some however have criticized the erstwhile whistleblower, claiming he is broadening his social media profile in order to publicize his new film WarGames 2, to which Snowden replied, ‘Obvs.’

Snowden will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT TO STAR IN FRAGGLE ROCK

HOLLYWOOD – Star and director Joseph Gordon-Levitt confirmed yesterday that he would be starring in and producing a live action movie version of Jim Henson’s celebrated TV Show Fraggle Rock.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec, the Don Jon director spoke about his role in the new Fraggle Rock movie:

I’ve always loved Jim Henson’s creations. From Sesame Street to the Muppets, to Fraggle Rock. I even liked Dark Crystal.

F*ck off!

Okay, may be not Dark Crystal. I had heard about the opportunity to be a part of the Fraggle Rock movie, I jumped at the chance.

Who will you play?

We had a long discussion about this. I was thinking that I ought to play a live action character and the last thing I wanted to do was Neil Patrick Harris it the way he had with The Smurf movies. The only option then would have been to play Doc, but when I was growing up, I never pretended to be Doc, I always wanted to be a Fraggle or a Doozer or even a Gorg, so when we had our first meeting I put it out there that I didn’t really care about money or anything like that but I absolutely had to be a Fraggle and they simply said okay. It was as easy as that. They already had concept art of what I might look like as Gobo Fraggle.

Gobo?

I know it was like a dream come true. Gobo is the explorer, the one who wants to go to Outer Space which is what the Fraggles call our world. His Uncle Travelling Matt is already out there, inspiring him. I hadn’t consider that it would be possible the Henson people said that I actually look quite Fraggley already so all I need is some purple clothes and a wig.

No CGI?

Absolutely not. We’re going old school. Just me in costume and with some guys hand up my ass.

Fraggle Rock will be released in 2016.

JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT IS EDWARD SNOWDEN

HOLLYWOOD – First look at Joseph Gordon Levitt as Edward Snowden in Oliver Stone’s new film Snowden.

The film, which also stars Nicolas Cage, tells the story of the most famous whistle blower of recent years and subject of this year’s Oscar winning documentary Citizenfour. Shailene Woodley is also confirmed as Snowden’s girlfriend Lindsay Mills. Many who saw Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center believe that the film could be part of a CIA plot to discredit the former defense contractor, but there is always a chance that the Oliver Stone who made Salvador didn’t actually die in the 1980s.

Stone is currently filming in Munich, Germany. 

RIAN JOHNSON TO REMAKE LOOPER


HOLLYWOOD – Rian Johnson announced that he is to remake Looper, his Science Fiction mind bending time travel thriller that stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Bruce Willis’ younger self.

‘I made it all wrong,’ said Johnson. ‘I watched it again recently and I realised that Bruce Willis should be playing an older Joseph Gordon-Levitt rather than Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing Bruce Willis’ younger self.’

The news came as no surprise to Rian Johnson collaborator, actor Paul Dano: ‘It came as no surprise to me, as actor Paul Dano, because what many people don’t realise is that Rian Johnson already made Looper three times. One in 2009 and twice in 2011, but one of those 2011s weren’t our 2011.’

Rian Johnson said that the plot mechanics of time traveller were so complicated and convoluted that he was unable to properly explain many of the parts of his own film, but he admitted the only way to do justice to the story was to use real time travel.  ‘I watched it again recently and I realised that Bruce Willis should be playing an older Joseph Gordon-Levitt rather than Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing Bruce Willis’ younger self.’

Rian Johnson announced that he is to remake Looper, his Science Fiction mind bending time travel thriller that stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Bruce Willis’ younger self. The news came as no surprise to Rian Johnson collaborator, actor Paul Dano: ‘It came as no surprise to me, as actor Paul Dano, because what many people don’t realise is that Rian Johnson already made Looper three times. One in 2009 and twice in 2011, but one of those 2011s weren’t our 2011.’

Rian Johnson. Rian Johnson. Looper Paul Dano.
Bruce.

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT OVERDOSES ON SMUG

HOLLYWOOD – In the early hours of this morning, actor, writer and director, Joseph Gordon-Levitt was rushed to hospital with what doctors are describing as ‘a serious attack of smugness’.

Dr. William Radley told gathered reporters:

A young male was admitted at 2.15 this morning with what can only be described as a broad grin on his face. The grin has stretched so widely that it has stuck making it increasingly difficult for the patient to feed himself, or in fact breathe. Though a serious condition many patients are so pleased with themselves and everything they say or do, that they refuse to seek treatment until it is too late. 

Mr. Gordon-Levitt first showed symptoms when he was directing Don Jon, a film in which he also stars as a sex addict who falls in love with Scarlett Johansson and has problems because… he’s an addict of sex and Scarlett Johansson wants to have sex with him and so… The Inception star is also what Dr. Radley called ‘a double hyphenate’. He explained:

Not only is he an actor-director he’s also a Gordon-Levitt. Thus doubling the risk.

However, Dr. Radley was optimistic that Gordon-Levitt would make a full recovery. 

We’re just going to show him Premium Rush on a loop. That ought to knock the wind out of his sails pretty smartish. What a piece of shit that movie was. I mean in my medical opinion.

Sandman will be released in 2015.