GARY OLDMAN DIRECTS KAJAGOOGOO BIOPIC

LEIGHTON BUZZARD – Gary Oldman is to direct his second feature film with a biopic of British Eighties pop group Kajagoogoo.

Too Shy represents a radical change in direction for Oldman, whose first film Nil By Mouth was a grimly realistic portrayal of domestic violence, starring Ray Winstone.

Ray Winstone returns, however, in the role of Limahl the egotistical lead singer of the group which had hits with ‘Ooh to Be Aaah’ and ‘Too Shy’ before exploding in an orgy of hair spray and recriminations. Jonah Hill will play bassist – and arch rival – Nick Beggs.

The Firm and Dracula actor explained exclusively to the Studio Exec:

The Eighties is a period that fascinates me. I first made a real name for myself playing Sid Vicious in Alex Cox’s Sid and Nancy. I wanted to go back to the Eighties and explore the rise and fall of the kind of one-hit-wonder group that was so prevalent in those days. Though I wanted something more epic. That’s why I went for Kajagoogoo, because they’re more like a two-hit-wonder. 

Ray Winstone seems like an odd choice for Limahl. What made you offer him the part?

bow wow wow (Ray, far left)

Well, you say that but what you don’t know about Ray is he used to play keyboards for Bow Wow Wow and so he knows that world intimately. They kicked him out just after they released ‘Go Wild in the Country’ and he’s been very bitter about it. 

The film ends with Limahl leaving the band. Would you guys consider a sequel to follow Limahl’s solo career?

Wow. That would be a lot bigger in scope than I’m used to. Perhaps. I mean it could be a [sings] Never Ending Story-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-laaaaaaaa.


Too Shy is due to start filming this month.

NETFLIX TO REMAKE MONKEY WITH JADEN SMITH

HOLLYWOOD – Jaden Smith is to play Monkey in a Netflix produced remake of the cult Chinese TV show from the Eighties.

Jaden Smith is to take on the iconic role of Monkey in a Netflix remake of Monkey, the cult Chinese TV show. Jaden Smith told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I am so excited about this. I mean Monkey has his own cloud and he’s got a stick. I’m going to use my kung fu/Karate skills which Jackie Chan taught me in The Karate Kid.

The original show was actually a Japanese TV production though based on a Chinese novel and largely filmed in Chinese locations. It followed the adventures of the mischievous Monkey God (Smith) who must travel to India with Pigsy (Jonah Hill) and Sandy (Owen Wilson) in order to retrieve some ancient scriptures.

I’m so excited to do this because of the spiritual quest and of course I get the chance to fly on a cloud.

Monkey will drop in 2017.

23 JUMP STREET: MEN IN BLACK ‘THE RESULT OF TOO MUCH TEQUILA’

HOLLYWOOD – It has been revealed that the crossover movie 23 Jump Street: Men in Black will begin filming in June despite being ‘the result of too much tequila’.

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum are set to return to 23 Jump Street: Men in Black, an ill advised mash up which was inspired by ‘too much tequila’ according to one studio insider.

I think it was someone’s birthday and so a bottle or two had come in and we got to talking and drinking. There was definitely some tequila and then we all went out to a bar. You know bottomless mimosas? Well, it turns out there’s a bottom.

So what happened?

We were shooting our mouths off and writing stuff on napkins and the usual stuff. But we were all out of our brains. Tommy from creative tried to take his trousers off over his head. The next morning … or the one after, I woke up with a soiled mouth and a thousand missed calls. Turns out we’d been green lit.

So Jump Street 23: Men in Black was done?

I didn’t know at the time. I couldn’t remember. We were all sitting in the meeting waiting to see what had been decided, but it could have been the spin off of Big John Little John or the Terrahawks musical that we’d come up with somewhere between the kebab Sunday special and the Jane’s Addiction concert.

But when you did find out you must have been happy?

No. Of course not. We have all these wild ideas but we never thought they’d actually come to anything. Jesus Christ and now we’re going to go into production. Jonah and Channing are on board.

That’s great!

They’re idiots. What do they know? They’re Goddamned actors! Usually getting stoned off your brain means you wake up with ideas written in such bad handwriting it never comes to anything but apparently we had a conference call and now I’m going to have to sell this unholy cow to the world.

  Jump Street 23: Men in Black will be released in 2017.

TERRENCE MALICK CONFIRMS STAR WARS ANTHOLOGY ‘JABBA’

HOLLYWOOD – Cult director Terrence Malick has confirmed that he will be directing a Star Wars Anthology movie, entitled simply: Jabba.

The reclusive director of The Tree of Life and To the Wonder, Terrence Malick will direct a new Star Wars spin off movie based on the early life of Jabba the Hutt entitled simply Jabba. Very little is known of the movie, but the Studio Exec was able to talk to the notoriously shy director.

This is what he said:

I’ve always been fascinated by the desert. One of my favorite films is Lawrence of Arabia, so when Kathleen [Kennedy] telephoned and said they were wondering if I’d be interested in doing anything in the Star Wars universe, I said straight away yes, but it would have to be set on Tattooine and the character I would be most interested in would be Jabba the Hutt.

Why Jabba the Hutt?

I’ve always been interested in the way a soul that is so capable of joy and glory, becomes also capable strangely of destruction and wickedness. Watching Return of the Jedi, I always thought that Jabba was capable of appreciating beauty, but at the same time his own ugliness made him destroy that beauty. His tragedy was that he could appreciate the lithe beauty of the dancing girl and slave Leia, but he could never truly reach them. His was forever a yearning without any real chance of contact. And that was the root of his violence.

I see. 

I think it was Schopenhauer who said that life is divided between desire and boredom and in a nutshell that is Jabba’s dilemma. But in the new film we’ll see a young Jabba, a young creature with a dominant strict and somewhat distant father, and a beautiful dancing girl mother who represents grace and nature. It will be her early death in the maw of the Rancor that will scar the young Jabba forever and force him into believing that the toothed vagina of the Sarlacc Pit is the reality of love.

How will the film be stylistically?

Emmanuel Lubezki is very enthusiastic to be on board, so might beautiful photography. The Magic Hour will look gorgeous with the sand. You think of the best part of Episode IV, it was Luke gazing at the two setting suns. So we have more magic hour! We’ll have lots of voice-over. And Rachel Weisz will get cut out of the final movie again.

Who is going to play Jabba?

I know you want me to say Jonah Hill or Kevin James, just for the easy laugh. Am I right?

Okay, who will it be?

Jonah Hill. Definitely.

Jabba will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

JUSTIN BIEBER AND JONAH HILL APOLOGY OFF

  HOLLYWOOD – Let the ‘nothing I can say excuses what I did’ excusing commence!

In the blue corner, weighing in at 54 pounds, two inches – everyone’s favorite nice boy gone bad until Miley Cyrus cut her hair and now we’re all confused but anyway: he’s Canadian! Justin Bieber!
And in the red corner, weighing in at NO! I’m not going there, Jump Street 22 star and Wolf of Wall Street Oscar nominee, he’s not Canadian! At least, I don’t think… no he definitely isn’t. Jonah Hill!
And Justin is out first ducking and weaving throwing a few mild complaints about the pressure of celebrity. But here’s Jonah, some of his best friends are Gay! In fact he’s going to a Gay wedding tomorrow, of his best friend, who is totally cool, and that’s cool!
But Justin’s back. He was only eighteen when he made the comments: they’re hurtful, he says. He expresses remorse.
BUT MY GOD WHAT’S THIS?
Jonah’s Kimmeling him to the ground. Claiming that no one should forgive him and should use him as an example for what not to do or be when someone responds to you with hate because there’s too much hate in the world, why (for the love of Pete!) can’t we just get along, black and white, gay and straight, Hos and Bitches?
Oh no. No, I think he got away with that.
Bieber is trying to claim his joke was more about racism than racist itself but it’s no good, Hill is running circles around him, he’s on Howard Stern, he’s gone viral. His voice is cracking. 

It’s CRACKING! It’s all over. 


Bieber’s deported and Hill is King of the Sorrys!

KUNG FU REMAKE

MELBOURNE – Moulin Rouge and Great Gatsby director Baz Luhrmann – everyone’s favorite subtlist – is set to direct the Kung Fu remake.

The original series ran from 1972 to 1975 and starred David Carradine as the wandering Caine (AKA Grasshopper), who wanders the West dispensing Eastern justice and searching for his long lost half brother.  The current script is by Black Swan writer John McLaughlin but according to a source close to Mr. Luhrmann ‘doesn’t feature enough dancing’.
Legendary Pictures, who are developing the project, have already stated that the action of the film version will be moved to China ‘for purposes of money authenticity’. An insider told us:

Luhrmann is a perfect fit. He is kinetic and vibrant and let’s face it he’s rubbish when it comes to drama. This kind of kitschy stuff is more up his alley.

Jason Statham and Leonardo di Caprio have already expressed interest in the role, but it is understood that Jonah Hill is currently Luhrmann’s preferred choice.   

Kung Fu remake will be released in 2017.

STEVE MARTIN MAKES CHEAPER BY THE TWO FOR CHINA

BEIJING – With the aim of capturing the massive Chinese audience, Steve Martin is to remake his 2003 remake Cheaper by the Dozen explicitly for China with the new title: Cheaper by the Two.

The story follows the difficulties of Bill Mumy (Steve Martin) and his wife Linda (Bonnie Hunt) as he tries to juggle his busy work life, when he is hired to coach a Chinese baseball team, with his massive family of two riotous children, played by Jonah Hill and Eddie Murphy. Martin said spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec this evening:

We’re absolutely delighted to have the opportunity to retell this story for a different audience and – as family is a universal theme – we are confident that we will connect with the Asian cinema-going public and money. Money money money.

And you get to work with Eddie Murphy again.

Ha ha. Yes. Poor Eddie, poor, poor Eddie. Yes, we’ll obviously be CGIing him and Jonah so they look small enough to be kids. Benjamin Button them in reverse.

Are there any changes you had to make to the script to fit audience expectations? 

None at all. I wrote what I thought was the best script and we shot it and that’s the film that we’ll release. Some might look at the scene where we denounce the next door neighbour for his critical remarks against the Party as trying to win favour with the authorities but actually I feel that the comedy execution scene and the part where his wife gets the bill for the bullets is just gold.

Cheaper by the Two will be released in China in 2015.

STEP UP 5 GULAG: CAST AND STORY REVEALED

HOLLYWOOD – Following on from the hugely successful dance movie Step up 4: Revolution, comes Step Up 5: Gulag to be directed by David Fincher and starring Jonah Hill, Kate Winslett and Mike Myers.

A plot summary was released to Studio Exec:

The revolution is complete and street dancing  has now been made compulsory throughout the United States of America. Anyone not at least body popping is thrown into the Gulags which have been built in Montana. Everyone is happy until evil hip hopper takes charge of the People’s Democratic Revolutionary Council and starts imposing his frankly mad laws regulate all dancing so that they outlaw robotics (good) and somersaults (aw no, I like somersaults). When a dance off is broken up by the new fashion police force, Frankie (Jonah Hill) finds himself thrown in Montana and mixing with a bunch of assholes who don’t know or refuse to dance, but soon he is joined by a crack team of somersaulters and robotic mimes led by Alexxxxia (Kate Winslett).

‘Smiles weakly to cover his unhappiness and confusion’


Together they plan to escape by putting on a show for the camp commandant (Mike Myers, very camp) Herr Shtizel (and yes they address that). Everything goes well until something doesn’t and they are all forced to dig their own graves and then get shot in the back of the neck. [SPOILER ALERT.]

 Step Up 5: Gulag will be released in 2015. 

JONAH HILL TELLS CRITICS TO F*CK OFF

HOLLYWOOD – At a special Studio Exec brunch, Jonah Hill the superstar of Get Him to the Greek and (more recently) The Wolf of Wall Street, gave a spirited defense of the new Martin Scorsese film, telling critics that they can ‘just f*ck off’.

The Superbad star went on to say:

I understand that people watch this film and see two handsome movie stars, me and Leo di Caprio, indulging in bad behavior and they make the leap that we are endorsing that behavior or encouraging people to imitate us. But people who say that can just lick my b*ll s*ck clean, because I’m sick of you sanctimonious assholes taking a dump on our movie when the media was partly complicit in covering up the excess that we belatedly uncover. 

Jonah Hill then left the brunch stopping only briefly to eat an omelette with peppers and a couple of bruschettas. Representatives of the star were keen to point out that the Moneyball actor did not walk out but had to go cross town where Variety were holding another brunch and where Mr. Hill gave a watered down version of what he had previously told the shocked Studio Exec crowd, who numbered in the sevens.

The James Cameron helmed sequel The Wolves of Wall Streets is due to be released in 2015.   

  

ASHTON KUTCHER AND JUDI DENCH TO MARRY

 

HOLLYWOOD – Jobs star and ex-Mr Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher announced his long awaited marriage to M actress Judi Dench earlier today.

Rumors had been rife about the couple ever since, Kutcher accompanied Dame Dench o the premier of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel last year, and friends of the couple have said the two have made no secret of their commitment. A source close to Kutcher (it was Jonah Hill) told Studio Exec anonymously:  

We went out for dinner and although they were discreet, arriving separately and leaving at different times, it was obvious to everyone in the room that they were very much in love. They had their hands all over each other and Kelsey Grammer actually told them to get a room at one point.

Friends said that the two have a great deal in common, one of them is a highly accomplished actor and they both enjoy breathing cool air and taking walks in the moonlight. It is reported that they are planning a small private ceremony to which close friends and Bruce Willis will be invited. 

Jobs 2: Retina Display will be released in 2015. 

MICHAEL FASSBENDER TO APPEAR IN DUNE REMAKE

LONDON – Michael Fassbender has been linked to the Dune reboot currently planned by Len Wiseman.

The announcement came as a surprise as most of the main roles have already been cast, with Jake Gyllenhaal as Paul Atreides, Ian McKellen playing his father, Jonah Hill as the evil Duke and Johnny Knoxville playing the role sting played with the underpants and the hair.

Fassbender was a bit coy when we spoke about it earlier this week.

‘Well to be honest it’s really a bit part,’ said the Guinness advertisement star. ‘I don’t actually have any lines and you won’t necessarily be seeing the whole of me on screen.’

Fassbender’s part


News will come as a special treat though for anyone who enjoyed him in Shame.

JONAH HILL IS SPIDER-MAN

HOLLYWOOD – Jonah Hill to join Sam Raimi’s reboot of Mark Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man, which looks set to be on a collision course with Webb’s own sequel in the wrung dry comic book franchise.

Raimi announced today that his Spider-Man has been chosen and it will be Jonah Hill.

The Superbad and Money Ball actor said:

Of course, it’s always been a dream of mine to play a super hero and when Marc was searching for his Spider-Man I actually tested for the role, but there were technical aspects that we couldn’t get right. Every time I was trying to you know fly through the air using my web shooter, the chains kept snapping. So they went with that limey asshole. But since then I’ve become really svelte and so, you know, when Sam called me and told me we were going to do it right this time and said count me in.

The Amazing Spider-Man Begins Again will be released on the same day as The Amazing Spider-Man, and we’re hoping for fist fights. 

LEONARDO DICAPRIO TAKES CAREER BREAK TO FIGHT CRIME













HOLLYWOOD – Leonardo diCaprio is one of the hardest working lead film actors in the industry and in the course of the next few months we will see him as a villainous slave owner in Django Unchained, Jay Gatsby in The Great Gatsby  as well as the whistle blowing stock broker of The Wolf of Wall Street. However, diCpario has revealed that he is going to take a sabbatical and use it to secretly fight crime.

The something something year old actor told Studio Exec that he was worn out and spent. He felt drained, used up, torn off and thrown aside. But he has decided not to use the spare time to pursue some high adrenalin hobby or relax in a bath of Armagnac, but instead to devote himself to roaming the streets and defeating criminals ‘Wherever they prey on the innocent and the weak.’  

People are asking, will I wear a cape and a mask? I mean it’s getting really ridiculous. Yes, of course I’ll wear a cape and a mask. I mean, duh!

Pazzo!

DiCaprio revealed that Jonah Hill is going to be his sidekick, using the monicker ‘Pazzo’. Johnny Depp had also expressed an interest but DiCaprio had been very clear in stating that he preferred Johnny Depp to be exactly where he was ‘ruining his reputation with film after film of egregious tripe’.