HOLLYWOOD – It was announced today that everyone would get an opportunity to play Spider-Man in the upcoming reboot of the highly successful franchise.
Following in the footsteps of Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, Tom Holland will be the first web-slinger front and center for the new Spider-Man film, to be followed five minutes later by Aaron Aarman, and then in alphabetical order, everyone else on the planet (with the exception of blacks and gays and women).
A Marvel spokesperson told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
Listen Peter Parker is a kind of everyman figure. Or at least every white, straight man figure, ha! But you know what I mean. Yes, he has superpowers. Yes he can climb walls and swing from webs that he shoots from his wrists, but really he’s just like you or me (as long as you’re not black or gay or a woman). So we’re going to give everyone the chance to play him. This way we’ll also broaden his appeal and lord knows there are enough films to go around. We’re planning to have a new Spider-Man movie every year with a new reboot every three.
Comic book legend and cameo junkie Stan Lee gave his thumbs up to the idea in an internal memo, in which he expressed his delight at the money.
Spider-Man’s Got Talent will be released in 2016.