MANIMAL SURPRISES AT THE EMMYS

HOLLYWOOD – The 67th Emmy awards took place at the Microsoft Theatre with Andy Samberg presenting the awards, but the major upset of the evening was Manimal the 1983 adventure series that swept all the major categories.

Manimal, a short-lived adventure series started and ended in 1983, but last night it swept the Emmys due to a glitch in the voting mechanism. Beating out the likes of Mad Men, Orange is the New Black, Veep and Game of Thrones, Manimal won best drama series, best comedy series, best non-prosthetic make up and Simon MacCorkindale won best actor, beating out the likes of John Hamm and Bob Odenkirk.

Peter Dinklage – who plays Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones – spoke bitterly of his disappointment to the Studio Exec:

I’m bitterly disappointed. We were expecting stiff competition this year from Mad Men sure, but Manimal? That came from nowhere and swooped in like an eagle and took the award from my grasp. I mean was it even a good show? I didn’t even see it.

Although Manimal only ran for nine episodes in the early eighties, it received a massive cult following among internet groups and it is these groups which are thought to have interfered, or swung, the voting process. Starring MacCorkindale as Dr. Jonathan Chase, Manimal follows the shape shifting manimal as he solves crimes as a bull, or a dolphin, or a snake, or a monkey, or a giraffe. The Emmys host Andy Samberg was philosophical about the outcome and the outpouring of anger and hatred that soon followed:

It’s just like 2007 when Airwolf won everything. Or 2013 when it was Modern Family AGAIN. Nah, people bitch and complain but the fact is it is also cyclical. These things come around.

A new Manimal film starring Will Ferrell has been greenlit for 2017.

 

MARK MAYHEW REALIZES HE HAS 3 SEASONS OF MAD MEN TO CATCH UP ON

CONNECTICUT – Software designer mark Mayhew today realized that he has 3 seasons of AMC’s Mad Men to catch up on and not 2 as he originally thought.

Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, via Skype, the 43 year old Mayhew expressed his shock when he realized his mistake:

I knew that Mad Men was coming to an end and I had the fourth season box set sitting there waiting for me, but I was sure that there were only six seasons. But then I checked on Wikipedia and it turns out that they’ve done seven. When did that happen?

Are you going to marathon them?

That was the idea. But three seasons? Woof, that’s a big ask. I mean I probably will, but I just can’t believe there have been that many. I mean I was watching them every week and then my wife had a baby and a few other things happened, and I just lost sight of it. I’m ashamed to say. It’s not quite as bad as ER, which just went on and on and no one was watching it anymore. I just gave up on that. And I totally lost Lost, but 3 Seasons of Mad Men I think are doable and the design of the show is really impressive.

Showrunner Matthew Weiner personally apologized for the inconvenience:

We’ve been meaning to wrap up for some time and the scheduling has been crazy, so all I can say to Mr. Mayhew is thanks for the patience, enjoy the last seasons and we hope it’ll be worthwhile. John Hamm and Elizabeth Moss are amazing and I think Mr. Mayhew will agree at least with that.

The Seventh Season of Mad Men is the final one.

MR AND MRS GEORGE CLOONEY ACCIDENTALLY SINK VENICE

VENICE – Newly weds George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin accidentally sank Venice yesterday when George left the taps running in their hotel bathroom as the two went out for brunch with their friends.

Ms. Alamuddin was wearing a Giambattista Valli Couture dress to complement her platinum wedding ring when they met guest at the Cipriani Hotel for food and drinks. Meanwhile back at the Aman Grand Canal Hotel the bathroom was filling with water and the water was leaking into other rooms causing the 15th century palazzo to subside. This set off a chain effect in neighboring structures and before long the whole quarter of the city was compromised. George, wearing a classic Armani suit and Police sunglasses, greeted fans and reporters with his trademark smile by Valentino. Eating antipasti prepared by the award winning chef, Carlo Ancellotti, the beautiful and glamorous A-listers mingled as the sound of falling masonry and terrified screaming could be heard in the distance.

‘We knew something was going on when we heard the sirens and the helicopters, but we were all having such a good time,’ said one guest, Mad Men’s John Hamm. ‘George and Amal have waited so long for this day we didn’t want anyone to spoil it.’

As the world heritage site rapidly began to resemble a latter day Atlantis, the weekend celebrations continued into the early evening, featuring music from friend and guest Adele. The party was really beginning to rock when some bleeding and half drowned survivors swam to the hotel, but were denied access because their names were not on the guest list.

As the stars came out in the Venetian sky, the newly weds gave a charming farewell to their friends and family and prepared to depart for an undisclosed location for their honeymoon.  The death toll currently stands at four thousand.