LEONARDO DICAPRIO ARRESTED FOR PROSTITUTION

HOLLYWOOD – Police arrest Django Unchained star Leonardo DiCaprio on suspicion of being a prostitute.

The film star and owner of one of the world’s five oceans Leonardo DiCaprio was sitting in a parked car kissing a lady friend. But then police officers spotted him and arrested him. The arresting officer said that the arrest showed solid police work:
We didn’t know it was big movie star Leonardo DiCaprio at the time, but when we realized we were doubly pleased we had got him. DiCaprio has been a menace. This is a family neighborhood and Mr. DiCaprio has been seen more than once standing on the street corner and soliciting passing cars, wearing provocative clothes and even making obscene gestures and invitations in a curvy language which leaves very little to the imagination. One would think he earned enough money from all those flicks he’s made.
A lawyer for the star however pleaded mitigating circumstances:
Ever since What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? Mr. DiCaprio has been very honest about his proclivities. This is a case of victimization of a sick man by a police force eager to grab headlines and distract people from its more unsavory reputation. My client is seeking counselling but would also like to point out in terms of his economic position – which on the surface would seem to preclude such sex-barter – that since buying an ocean he has been a bit strapped for cash.
Other Hollywood male prostitutes were quick to leap to DiCaprio’s defense. John Cusack said:
People see us and they think, we’re white, we’re rich, what are we doing? But they don’t understand how hard it can be to make a living in this town. And frankly if the choice is turning tricks or making Hot Tub Time Machine 2, I know which of them is the less degrading option.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is available.

HISTORY AND DISCOVERY CHANNELS HOST NAZI SHARK WEEK

HOLLYWOOD – In a unique collaboration, the History Channel and Discovery are going to broadcast Nazi Shark Week early next year.

The season will a week long program of documentaries, quiz shows and Nazi Shark themed films that will appeal to fans of Nazi history and the most dangerous predator of the oceans and those who like Nazi Sharks as well.

Presenter John Cusack told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

People have been fascinated by sharks for centuries, but many do not know how closely they hold to the tenets of National Socialism as espoused by Adolph Hitler. In this season of informative and educational programs, the Discovery and History Channels will show how sharks aided and abetted the Dictator’s rise to power from a so-so painter in Munich to a man who caused the death of millions.

The season kicks off with a three hour marathon Nuremberg Rally shot off the coast of Australia where the rise of the far right sharks have worried surfers and the Australian government for the past five years. Then there will be a series of historical documentaries about the beginnings of shark fascism in Italy, the roles sharks played in maintaining international neutrality in the midst of the Spanish Civil War and Hitler’s infamous Das Shark battalions that fought alongside the U-Boat fleet. Throughout the week there will be updates from Great White Supremacist Shark Watch, which follows a family of Great White Sharks who will be living with a black family to see if they can’t find common ground.

Shark Week begins on January the 13th, 2015. 

CHARLIE KAUFMAN WRITES CHARLIE KAUFMAN WRITES A MOVIE

HOLLYWOOD – Screenwriter of Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Charlie Kaufman is writing a movie entitled Charlie Kaufman Writes a Movie.

The director of Synecdoche New York spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about his new project:

I am endlessly fascinated by myself and the way when I do something other things happen. I don’t know what it is. I have a mirror placed so I can see myself writing in my room and I often catch myself looking at myself as I write so I began to wonder what if I was writing about myself writing about myself. To help the process of writing, I placed another three mirrors at angles around the room. Now I can see all the different versions of me writing and the reflections of the reflections lead to an infinitude of Charlie Kaufmans.

What will the film be about?

Essentially me writing the movie. At the beginning I’m writing down ideas and getting nowhere and then I notice this mirror and I start thinking about me writing the movie and then I place these other mirrors, like I just told you and… well, you see. It’s really easy once you get started.

Kaufman will direct the movie and has already begun the process of casting.

Initially, I was going to cast John Cusack, but after Synecdoche he’s basically way too expensive for me. Jack Black has expressed an interest and Chris Dowd. But even as we’re going through this process I began to think, ‘You know what, THIS could be the second movie’. We could even have a trilogy. Charlie Kaufman Writes a Movie, Charlie Kaufman Casts a Movie and Charlie Kaufman Releases a Movie.

You could do a follow up, Audience Goes and Sees a Charlie Kaufman Movie.

No, that would be stupid.

Charlie Kaufman Writes a Movie will be released in 2016.

 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT WOODY ALLEN

HOLLYWOOD – Comedian, actor, director, writer and hat model Woody Allen has long been considered the funniest bespectacled madcap that New York has ever produced (sorry, Billy Crystal).

And yet, how much do we really know about the zany? Exclusively, the Studio Exec is going to give you 5 FACT zingers to the one best known as Woody ‘Joey Nickels’ Allen.

  1. Woody Allen isn’t actually Jewish. As an ambitious young comedian, the WASP Trevor Allen changed his name to Allan Stewart Koningsberg and from thence to Woody Allen.  
  2. Woody writes the scripts to his films in long hand on A4 yellow legal pads. In the left hand corner of the scripts he draws every scene of the movie so that potential investors who are too busy to read can flick through the script and see an animated version of the film play out.
  3. Woody Allen is famous for casting avatars for himself in his films. Kenneth Brannagh, Owen Wilson, John Cusack and Larry David have all played Woody Allen. As a tribute to Allen, director James Cameron based the whole story of Avatar on Woody Allen’s method.
  4. Woody Allen gets paid money from European cities if he sets his films there. He gets special bonuses if the films aren’t too funny. So far he has received bonuses from Paris, Rome, London and Barcelona. 
  5. Woody Allen has a long running feud with Mel Gibson that spills over into violence whenever the two men meet. Despite their apparent difference in terms of physical dynamism, Allen has given Gibson a head slapping on every single occasion. (For more on that story CLICK HERE).

For more FACTS click HERE.

THE PAPERBOY: REVIEW

THE PAPERBOY: REVIEW – The Paperboy is accidentally entertaining in way a car crash is entertaining for those not in it. The film is a pile of over the top, over acted, over directed, over exposed, badly written, multicolored shit, which manages to be both predictable – plot wise – and dumbly surprising – in a WTF way.

Lee Daniels – revealing himself to be something of a sadist – seems intent on punishing his cast as if this was Movie 43 all over again. Matthew Mcconaughey lawyers up to defend white trash slime ball – John Cusack playing a toned down version of himself – who in turn has somehow managed to win the duct taped heart of Nicole Kidman’s Southern slattern. Never have I seen an actress obviously hankering for a new direction head off in the wrong one with such a flourish. All is seen through the eyes of  Zach Efron who gets pissed on – the takeaway moment of the film – by Nicole Kidman, who in turn is pissed on, along with the rest of the cast, by Lee Daniels. And he’s been eating asparagus.

JOHN CUSACK IS RUSH LIMBAUGH

WASHINGTON  – Hollywood reeled today with the news that John Cusack and Rush Limbaugh are in fact the same person.

The actor famed for his liberal views and twitching irritating performances has apparently been ‘Rushing’ from film sets to radio studio changing into his fat suit and grey wig in the limo, before spouting off at the mouth about a load of bigoted guff.

First rumours were spread after Leonardo diCaprio in a GQ interview with Clint Eastwood revealed that the fat suit and make up used in J. Edgar to reproduce the famed FBI boss were actually borrowed from Cusack. ‘Why did John Cusack have a fat suit?’ the confused ‘journalist’ asked. But Eastwood cut the interview short and soon after faked an argument with the coffee table in order to bring the embarrassing conversation to a close.

Speaking today exclusively to Studio Exec, Mr. Cusack said:

I’m relieved ultimately. For years I’ve been leading a double life. On the one hand making forgettable films and the on the other spewing my hateful bile into the airwaves. Sometimes the lives would collide as for instance when I made Con Air

Cusack plans to make a film of the experience which ‘will make Tootsie look like Mrs Doubtfire.’