DWAYNE THE ROCK JOHNSON TO STAR IN ZARDOZ REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is to star in, as well as write and direct a new remake of the 1974 science fiction film Zardoz.

Widely considered one of the strangest films ever made, Zardoz originally starred Sean Connery and was directed by John Boorman. It tells the story of a giant flying head that spews guns and tells the Slayers to kill and not have babies. Dwayne Johnson spoke exclusively to Studio Exec about the project:

When I was first approached to act properly in movies I always had the dream of some day doing something as wonderful as Zardoz. It’s a film I’ve greatly admired for years. Films these days are simply unambitious and way too normal, including my own, with perhaps the exception of Southland Tales, but Zardoz is just a treasury of nutsy drug induced flim-flam.

How do you feel about directing?

It’ll be easy. I’m going to take a lot of LSD.

Can you tell us about your role?

I’m playing Zed and I want to keep it very close to the original concept, especially the costumes. The body hair will be a challenge. Connery was one of the most hirsute actors of the seventies, and, as we all know, the seventies were the hay day of hairiness.

What other hairy actors do you admire?

Peter Sellers. Burt Reynolds.

Other than body hair how else will you approach the film?

I will update the special effects obviously. They are the weak point of the original film. And I shall also make Zardoz more kid friendly. I think Zardoz has a lot to say to young people. So I’ll try to keep the nudity down to an absolute minimum. The studio will probably insist on changing the name somehow, but I’ll fight them on it.

Journey 4: From the Earth to Zardoz will be released in 2016.

THE BURT REYNOLDS DIARIES: 1

HOLLYWOOD – Studio Exec has laid its grubby hands on the unpublished dairies of actor and heterosexual moustache wearer Burt Reynolds and we are going to publish and be damned.

 February 1971
Johnny Boorman comes over: wants to make a film of the James Dickey book.- ‘I want you to a grow a moustache,’ says Johnny. I tell him I ain’t a homo and that’s the end of that conversation.


March 1971
We’re shooting this Summer. The cast is beginning to take shape. Jon Voight is coming round and we’re going to bond as men. I’ve been practising my archery. I keep looking at my upper lip. It does look  kinda bare.

12 May 1971

Johnny Boorman is winding up Dickey, who’s an asshole by the way. Keeps telling him he wants to film the novel as a musical. He shoots this scenes with banjos and Dickey goes ape shit and starts yelling, punches Johnny in the face. Poor bastard has to get some serious dental work. ‘I was only kidding,’ Johnny tells me. ‘But now that fuckers going in the movie.’

17 May 1971
I keep winding Jon Voigt up. He’s just become a dad and he brings little Angelina on the set. I tell him she’s gonna break hearts and he looks at her, ‘What? This ugly little pug dog?’ I swear to God she’s the ugliest baby I ever saw.

21 May 1971
I gotta say first off, rape is never a subject for jokes. Ever. But Ned Beatty getting raped. We were howling. These hill-billies Johnny is using – they’re the real thing. Johnny says okay ‘one last one, make it real.’ And they start in on poor Ned, making him squeal like a pig and all that and he’s squealing and they’re going at it, but I guess they don’t what acting really is, cause one of them just gets it out and sticks it in, as quick as greased lightning. Well, Ned’s screaming cut and we’re falling around laughing. I loose off an arrow and hit James Dickey in the throat. I know for damned sure that’s the take that Johnny’s gonna use.