JAMES FRANCO BURIES TOMMY WISEAU IN AN UNMARKED GRAVE

HOLLYWOOD – James Franco has admitted to burying Tommy Wiseau in an unmarked grave.

Following his best actor victory at the Golden Globes, James Franco took the inspiration for The Disaster Artist Tommy Wiseau to an undisclosed location and buried him in an unmarked grave. It is unclear whether Wiseau was alive when he was buried. Franco spoke to journalists at an after party and brushing the desert sand from his trousers, defended his actions:

Tommy directed one of the worst films ever made. The Room. But he soon became the inspiration for a wonderful film and performance by me. James Franco. And his brother David Franco and Seth Rogan and you know the rest. So Tommy has more than served his purpose. It became clear however that Tommy is not content with serving as my inspiration and now he actually wants to speak to people and I just couldn’t let that happen.

But why kill him?

I didn’t say I killed him. No one said I killed him. did you hear me say I killed him?

No. 

Okay then.

But you buried him.

I did. I buried him in an unmarked grave so you’ll never find him.

So he’ll be dead. 

It’s possible.

What’s your next film going to be?

I want to make a film about Jim Carrey making the documentary Jim and Andy about Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman in Man in the Moon.

James and Jim and Andy will be released in 2019.

JIM CARREY TURNS INTO STAR DUST

HOLLYWOOD – Jim Carrey transformed into star dust early this morning.

News just in that Ace Ventura Pet Detective 2 star, Jim Carrey has turned into star dust. The Canadian comedian was attending a gala dinner for New York Fashion Week when with a strange cracking noise he seemed to dissolve into a stream of star dust which then wavered into a helix formation. Fellow diner, Amanda Seyfried told reporters what happened:

I was talking to Jim and he was really on a roll. He was telling me about how we didn’t exist and because we were all on these astral planes we didn’t need to worry about Polio vaccinations or stuf

jim carrey
Jim Carrey today

f like that, and I was listening, but not really listening if you know what I mean. I adored him in Liar Liar so I’m a huge fan. Anyhow, suddenly there’s this loud popping noise, and he’s gone. All these colored lights were in the air. And someone said ‘hey that’s Jim!’ Then I realized he’d been talking about how we are all star dust. So suddenly it made sense. People got real quiet and we could just hear this faintest voice.

What did it say?

Smokin’.

Jim Carrey will appear in Jim & Andy on Netflix.

JEFF DANIELS AND JIM CARREY TO STAR IN ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN 2

HOLLYWOOD – Long-awaited sequel All the President’s Men 2 will star Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey.

All the President’s Men chronicled the fall of the Nixon administration through the Bernstein and Woodward investigation. The new sequel is to be directed by the Farrelly Brothers and will star Dumb and Dumber stars Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey. We talked to a Farrelly.

The idea is that we’re going to have an impeachment fairly soon so we wanted to be ahead of the curve. It struck us that with JIm and Jeff we have a cast that are very adept at improvisation, so we’re essentially starting with an outline and letting the cable news shows write the script for us.

So is it a comedy?

I’d say a tragi-comedy really. We get the drama and the politics we deserve. In the 70s you had Robert Redford and the nervy charm of Dustin Hoffman. Now we have the guys from Dumb and Dumber.

How similar will this be to Dumb and Dumber?

I wouldn’t say this is a Dumb and Dumber 3 exactly, but there are unavoidable similarities. Continuities. One of the things we will keep is the gross out humor. To tell the truth, that is kinda unavoidable.

How else will it differ from the original?

We took the view point of Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the original but no such figures exist today. So we’re actually going to be approaching it from the other side. Jeff will play Sean Spicer and Jim is going to be Kellyanne Conway.

All the President’s Men 2 will be released in 2018.

JIM CARREY ADVOCATES PICKING YOUR NOSE AND EATING IT

HOLLYWOOD – Comedian and actor Jim Carrey today caused shock waves in Hollywood by advocating picking your nose and eating it as a healthy alternatives to vaccination.

A longstanding critic of vaccinations, Jim Carrey has become the latest celebrity to advocate picking your nose and eating it. Critics of vaccines have long believed in nose-picking as a healthy substitute forvaccines. The comments came in an interview the Bruce Almighty actor gave to French cultural magazine Chappeau.

Firstly, I strongly believe that we produce our own natural vaccines that can be accessed via the nostril. Secondly, eating snot boosts the immune systems and successfully prevents measles and scurvy. Of course, no one is making any money from it and so nobody wants to believe it, but the results are absolutely stunning.

Jim Carrey is only the latest celebrity to come out in favor of the new health fad. Jennifer Anniston and Russell Crowe have been eating their own boogers for years. Meg Ryan even made claims that it works as an anti-aging cure.  However, the AMA say that clinical trials have yet to conclusively prove any health benefits from excavating and chomping on your own ‘green gold’.

We have done extensive trials and, although it is delicious, there is no conclusive proof of an identifiable health benefit.

Jim Carrey will be appearing in Jewel of the Nile.

VAXXED DOCUMENTARY LINKS VACCINATIONS TO ‘PREVENTING DEATH’

HOLLYWOOD – A new documentary due to be shown at the Tribeca festival in New York Vaxxed has linked vaccines with ‘preventing death.’

The new documentary Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe is directed and co-written by Andrew Wakefield and shows how vaccination has prevented childhood diseases such as small pox, whooping cough, polio and measles that once caused death and untold misery to millions of children. A conspiracy of medical researchers, scientists, government agencies and pharmaceutical companies joined with a cabal of socially progressive politicians to see that many of these fatal diseases were consigned to the history books. Now a brave bunch of barely qualified radicals have blown the whistle on this heinous conspiracy that saw mortality rates slashed and have started to encourage parents to opt out of vaccinations.

Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, Alicia Silverstone and Selma Blair are currently leading the fight, arguing that although vaccines can save lives they might also cause Autism and rashes. The Autism claims have been roundly trashed and Wakefield had his medical license revoked after the BMJ found evidence of fraud in the original study.

Correction: Vaxxed will not be shown at the Tribeca film festival following an outcry.

 

SARAH PALIN AND DONALD TRUMP TO STAR IN DUMB AND DUMBER 3

HOLLYWOOD – Dumb and Dumber 3 is back on with new stars Donald Trump and Sarah Palin.

They haven’t yet won the White House but they’re already making inroads into Hollywood. News came in today that Sarah Palin and Presidential candidate for the Republican Party Donald Trump have signed up to star in Dumb and Dumber 3. The sequel will see the two ‘politicians’ take over from Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in the lead roles. Former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin dropped by the Studio Exec Bungalow to talk about the film:

We’re going to play Harold and Lloyd’s out of town cousins. People are always saying that I’m stupid and Donald’s a buffoon and I thought why not take that and run with it. You remember when I went on Saturday Night Live with Tina Fey? Well, this is the same thing.

Aren’t you worried it will ruin your reputation?

Reputation? Ha! Listen they’ve been laughing at me ever since I said I wanted to run for office. Well, as Gandhi once said ‘First they laugh at you and then they get angry and then you win’ and he should know. After all he did invent the bicycle!

But what if you become Donald Trump’s running mate and then win. Will you still do the film?

Listen when I set my mind to it, I go all the way, unless I get bored. Or something better comes up. So definitely yes-ish.

Dumb and Dumber 3: in Da WHITE house will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

RARE PULP FICTION SCREEN TESTS

HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino has just released some rare photographs of early screen tests for “Pulp Fiction”.

First there was the list of casting possibilities and today saw the release of some rare photographs depicting screen tests from Pulp Fiction, offering a rare insight into the film that could have been. In the first shot Jules is still played by Samuel L. Jackson but John Travolta had originally turned down the role of Vince Vega and the character was played by Jim Carrey. Carrey was eager to establish himself as a serious actor, following his success in such films as “Ace Ventura” and “The Mask”.

The second picture shows another hopeful for the role of Vince Vega, the self-proclaimed King of Pop Michael Jackson. An obvious attraction was his suitability for the dance scene, but it turned out that his acting ability did not match his moves.

Quentin Tarantino spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the photographs and the story behind them:

Casting Pulp Fiction was especially difficult. With Reservoir Dogs I had really just been lucky, but for Pulp Fiction I had so manypulp fiction people knocking on my door, I could have cast anyone. I was so enthused that I ended up testing anyone I could think of, just so I could talk to them and spend some time with them. I think when it came down to it I never had any intention of casting Michael Jackson as Vega. Carrey on the other hand was very close to how I had imagined Vincent. But then Travolta finally came to his senses and that was that.

An exhibition of Pulp Fiction memorabilia is currently on display in PixelFaker’s closet HERE.

DEADPOOL REMAKE WON’T FEATURE CLINT EASTWOOD CAMEO

HOLLYWOOD – Clint Eastwood today denied that he will be taking part in the remake of his 1988 film The Dead Pool, which has been re-titled Deadpool.

The news comes amidst months of online speculation that the veteran actor would make a sizable cameo in the new Deadpool, which stars Ryan Reynolds in the role of Inspector ‘Dirty’ Harry Callahan.

The 85 year old actor told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I didn’t even know they were remaking that film. Deadpool you say? Strange. Of all the Dirty Harry films, that’s probably the weakest. I thought they would have been better off remaking the first Dirty Harry, or perhaps Magnum Force. What with all the police shootings and everything Magnum Force would be topical.

The original The Dead Pool featured Eastwood as Callahan and Inspector Quan investigating a series of murders based on horror director Liam Neeson’s Dead Pool, a betting list of who is going to die next. One of the victims includes a first big screen outing for ‘comedian’ Jim Carrey.

We spoke with star of the new film Ryan Reynolds about taking on one of the most iconic roles in American cinema.

I’m very happy to be a part of this. Deadpool is a great character and a real departure from the kind of comic book movie we’ve been seeing recently.

Will you be saying any of Callahan’s most famous lines? 

I’m sorry, Callahan? I don’t understand.

You know ‘Go ahead punk, make my day’ or ‘Do you feel lucky punk? Do you?’

Oh wait are you talking about Dirty Harry? No that’s totally different. I’m playing a Marvel comic book hero called Deadpool. It’s nothing to do with the 1988 Dirty Harry movie, the fifth installment I believe in the film series.

Will you be remaking other Dirty Harry movies in the near future?

No but it isn’t Dirty Harry. It’s a … Okay, yeah. We’re remaking Sudden Impact next.

Excellent. 

But we’re calling it Suddenimpact.

Deadpool will be released in 2016.

HANEKE AND FARRELLY BROTHERS COLLABORATE ON FUNNIER GAMES

AUSTRIA – Famed Austrian auteur and misery Michael Haneke is to team up with some of the legends of American gross out comedy to remake Funny Games for the second time.

Having won the Palmes D’Or and the Oscars for his film Amour, Michael Haneke is considered by many to be at the top of his art house game. And so yesterday’s announcement came out of the blue, as – in a joint press conference with Pete and Bobby Farrelly, he announced a sequel to his only American made film, Funny Games, provisionally entitled Funnier Games.

The 2007 film which featured Naomi Watts and Tim Roth being terrorized by Michael Pitt and chum in white tennis toggs was something of a misstep for the director and he has since gone on record regretting the film, which was a remake of a film he had already made in German in 1997. The idea for a sequel came when the director saw the film again in a small Los Angeles theater.

Haneke recalled:

There was this raucous laughter coming from the back all the way through the film, and I thought how wonderful, finally someone who understands my admittedly bleak Austrian sense of humor.  After the film I followed the men who had been laughing and cornered them at the McDonald’s where they were drinking out of one soda carton with two straws.

‘We thought Mikey’s work was unbelievable, like totally,’ says Bobby.

‘Misunderstood,’ says Petey. ”The Seventh Continent? Hilarious. Hour of the Wolf? Hilarious. The White Ribbon? I pissed my pants it was so funny.’

‘He totally did,’ says Bobby. ‘He pissed his pants.’

The new film will feature Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey, killing children amidst hapless escapades and gross out humor.

‘He really did piss his pants,’ Bobby assured us. Again.

Funny Games will be released in 2017.

HAROLD LLOYD SUES JIM CARREY

HOLLYWOOD – Silent comedy star and bespectacled accident prone icon Harold Lloyd today began legal proceedings to sue Jim Carrey.

Jim Carrey, along with the Farrelly brothers and Jeff Daniels, are accused by Harold Lloyd of using his name in two movies which he deems ‘harmful to my reputation as a comedian’.

Star of The Freshman, Safety Last and Girl Shy, Lloyd spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

When I first encountered the characters Lloyd Christmas and Harrold Dunne in Dumb and Dumber I took the names to be an affectionate tribute to my comedy even though the film itself was based on lewd humor in poor taste, rather than my death defying stunts. I didn’t really understand the reason they would name check me but it is nice to feel you are being recognised so I made no move. However, things changed when I saw the ineptly spelled Dumb and Dumber To. This was a genuinely awful film. About as funny as a child’s freshly dug grave. And I felt I ought to take action to disassociate myself from this dross before it irredeemably damaged my career.

But didn’t you die in 1971?

Yes, and the fact that I’m issuing this law action  from the beyond the veil that those who living call life speaks to how strongly I feel about the issue. Even kicking the bucket didn’t hurt my reputation as much as these nincompoops have. I’m sorry about the blue language, but Heavens to Betsy they have me worked up into a lather.

The case is due to be heard in the West Hollywood courthouse later this month and if it succeeds could as the first postmortem case of intellectual property rights lay a dangerous precedent. Steve Martin for one will be following the case closely as Phil Silvers, Spencer Tracy and Peter Sellers are thought to be considering a class action lawsuit against the famously white haired comedian.

Jim Carrey, Bob and Peter Farrelly and Jeff Daniels refused to comment.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TRUE DETECTIVE 2

HOLLYWOOD – True Detective 2 is going to be hitting HBO in June but what do we really know about it?

Although we already have the facts about True Detective 1, we sent the Studio Exec FACT squad into the underbelly of the badlands to find FACTS out like a real detective, I mean a genuine detective, an authentic detective, or a true investigator to find out about True Detective 2.

1. Despite coming from an impeccable source, the casting news that Owen Wilson, Jim Carrey, Zach Galiafanakis and Jack Black feature in the series looks to be untrue, possibly a ‘spoof’ of some kind.

2. The confirmation of Vince Vaughn, however, like much of his work, is no laughing matter.

3. Although it’s called True Detective, the characters never actually existed, the story is based on Nic Pizzolatto’s brain squirts and the setting of Los Angeles is a fictional kingdom like Narnia. To add to the titular falsehood, there are actually no detectives in the show, just police officers.

4. Rachel McAdams is to play the woman, doing stuff and not just being naked or a whiney wife type as a way of solving some of the accusations of misogyny leveled at the first season. For the men, Colin Farrell has a moustache.

5. Although the new season of True Detective is not a continuation of the first season, Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are thought to have cameos to add some extra incomprehensibility.

For more FACTS click HERE.

JIM CARREY JOINS TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 2

HOLLYWOOD – Following the news that Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams have all been cast for True Detective Season 2, the Studio Exec can confirm that Jim Carrey will be joining them in the new HBO show.

According to sources close to the production (it was show runner Nic Pizzolato but he made us promise to be discrete), Jim Carrey has approved the script and will be filming his scenes early next week.

Nic the anonymous source said:

As everyone already knows, we have decided to completely change this season. Not only are the characters going to be different, so is the story and the tone. Although it takes place in the same universe and there will be strands and possible cameos to connect the two seasons we want to do something that is so out there that people will be really knocked over. They’ll say ‘What the F*ck?’ and we’ll say ‘Oh. Yeah’.

What is the Dumb and Dumber star going to contribute?

We’d like to say madcap rubber faced comedy, but having seen Mr. Popper’s Penguins I think we’ll just be happy if there’s some rubber faced nonsense that’ll have to do.  The think I love about Jim is though there is this ostensible humor, at its root there is a Lovecraftian darkness of unspeakable horror and grief, a loathing for the world and all life and a hopelessness that makes Rust Cole seem like Steve Guttenberg. Steve Guttenberg… hmmm. Now there’s a thought.

True Detective Season 2 will be broadcast sometime in 2015.

DUMB AND DUMBER TO SPELLING FAIL

HOLLYWOOD – Film makers Bobby and Pete Farrelly were left red faced yesterday when it was revealed they had misspelled the name of their own movie Dumb and Dumber To.

In a mishap worthy of their two moronic characters Harold and Lloyd, played by Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, the title printed on all the promotional material and even the title sequence of the film itself was either missing a W or perhaps missing another O.

Jim Carrey, whose career has been plagued by mistakes of late such as Mr Popper’s Penguins, was relatively sanguine:

This kind of thing happens all the time. It’s a simple typo that wasn’t caught and the whole thing repeated itself. Yes, it’s a little embarrassing for a huge studio picture like this to make such a foolish error, but no one got hurt and if the film ends up losing money because of it, it’s still going to do better than The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.

Jeff Daniels, however, was less forgiving:

I beat Bryan Cranston to get an Emmy! For The Newsroom, of all things. I’m a serious actor and I expect the same level of professionalism from all those around me. Some people have even suggested that it is some kind of joke! That is arrant nonsense. We deal in sophisticated wordplay and political satire. How is misspelling a word funny? In what way? It’s just carelessness. Care. Less. Ness.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Pete Farrelly tried to brush the whole debacle off as some kind of misunderstanding:

The title Dumb and Dumber To is not a mistake. It is a joke. We misspelled the word deliberately because that’s a dumb thing to do and the film is called Dumb and Dumber. You see. It’s kind of… I mean, it IS funny, isn’t it?

Dumb and Dumber Two is currently in theaters.

DUMB AND DUMBER 5 ANNOUNCED

HOLLYWOOD – Following the successful reuniting of Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey vehicle Dumb and Dumber To comes the news that work has already started on a third film, provisionally entitled Dumb and Dumber 5

We spoke to Dumb and Dumber star Jim Carrey about the new film:

While we were making the new film we were having so much fun me and Jeff and we said to the Farrelly brothers hell we’d love to do another. And they said they couldn’t because they wanted to do a sequel to their Three Stooges movie because it was such a huge hit and we said that wasn’t a huge hit, and they said no they’d been joking. That’s the kind of fun we were having!

So Dumb and Dumber 5 will be… 

The thing is people will say Dumb and Dumber 5, but surely this is the third film, and it is, but we’re using 5 because they’re so darned stupid that they can’t count! Do you get it? Yeah.

So how is it working with… 

No, I mean the thing is there’s the first film then this second one and then the next one should be called Dumb and Dumber 3 but it is actually Dumb and Dumber 5.

Are you at all worried about being typecast as… 

Of course, we were kicked around Dumb and Dumber 4 but then someone said, what about that shitty film that they tried to pass off Dumb and Dumber: When Harry Met Lloyd? And we all went yeah and so Pete and Bobby got together for about an hour and half and they came back with Dumb and Dumber 5 and the room burst into spontaneous applause. It was… genius.

Dumb and Dumber 5 will be released in 2015.