MARVEL HAWKEYE SERIES STORYLINE

BREAKING NEWS – The Marvel Hawkeye series storyline has been leaked online. Starting at the end of the Korean War, the Marvel Hawkeye series storyline will follow the title character after he leaves his MASH Unit.

Marvel At Hawkeye and Corporal Klinger

 


Following Hawkeye after he leaves the Army and his MASH Unit behind, he travels to Seoul with Corporal Klinger and his wife. While in Seoul, Benjamin Hawkeye takes up archery and discovers his natural talent for the sport. Soon, he’s representing the USA in Archery at the Olympics, winning silver and missing out on gold to Bullseye (Colin Farrell).

 

SHIELD On The Radar

 

In the second episode, Hawkeye is recruited into SHIELD by his old Army buddy, Radar. Radar now works for SHIELD in communications and soon the two are battling against their nemesis, Major Margaret ‘Hotlips’ Houlihan. Elliot Gould turns up in a cameo role but leaves quickly when he realizes this is the TV MASH and not the movie.

 

Non-Stop Court Action

 

In the third episode, the estate of the late Robert Altman takes the makers of Hawkeye to court. It’s because they’re not seeing a penny from the characters that first appeared in Altman’s movie. The majority of the episode will be a ranting monologue from Altman’s lawyer about ‘those bastards at Fox’ and then ‘those corporate fuckers at Disney’.

 

Post Endgame

 

The show then jumps forward to the events immediately after Endgame. There we find Hawkeye at a crossroads in his life. He takes semi-retirement where he spends the rest of his days appearing in the occasional Neil Simon film adaptation and Woody Allen film. The Woody Allen films are all before that ‘you know’… business came out in the news. But let’s not get into that right now. That’s a whole other can of worms.

 

Hawkeye Premiers Soon On Disney+

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR: SPOILER FREE REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – Avengers: Infinity War is here.

And so here is our SPOILER FREE review. 100% SPOILER FREE. Go Ahead and read on. Because there are no SPOILERS. If you want SPOILERS go elsewhere because you ain’t getting them here buddy.

Continue reading “AVENGERS INFINITY WAR: SPOILER FREE REVIEW”

CORRECTION: GOLDEN GLOBES NOT JENNIFER LOPEZ’S KNOCKERS

HOLLYWOOD – Jeremy Renner has confirmed that the Golden Globes are not actually Jennifer Lopez front love cushions.

In 2015, Jeremy Renner referred to Jennifer Lopez’s love bumps as the Golden Globes during the 2015 Golden Globe Awards. The statement came as part of a ‘joke’ but confusion reigned for years. However, finally the Hurt Locker – as he prefers to be known – has cleared up the issues:

The Golden Globes are actually a series of awards. Nothing to do with Jennifer Lopez’s mammary glands. I was joshing and misspoke. I’m sorry for all the worry. Especially to Ms. Lopez and her gilded protrub … oh there I go again.

The Golden Globes are on television somewhere.

ARRIVAL – REVIEW

REVIEW – Denis Villeneuve’s Arrival is clever science fiction which manages to escape its essential silliness.

There’s a lot that is silly in Arrival. Forrest Whitaker’s husky soldier is one of them, with his peremptory attempt to recruit Amy Adams. She is a linguist and aliens have arrived. We need to know what they’re saying. Jeremy Renner is another scientist, tagging along to say some funny stuff. The light relief to Adams’ mopey egg head. See there seems to be some Sandra Bullock like grief to contend with but don’t rush to judge. Villeneuve is on a role at the moment. And he has a habit of making the silly luscious and strangely smart. Prisoners was a mess but looked great. Sicario is a masterpiece. And we’ve still got his Blade Runner sequel to contend with. He even makes aliens that communicate via coffee rings seem deep, so I think we’re in safe hands.

 

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REAL LIFE JASON BOURNE SAYS MATT DAMON HAS FORGOTTEN HIM

COLORADO – The real life secret agent that inspired Richard Ludlum to write the Jason Bourne books today slammed Matt Damon for forgetting him.

Fifty seven year old Jason Bourne from Fort Collins, Colorado today lashed out at Matt Damon for his deliberate amnesia towards his contribution to the character that has made Mr Damon a star.

When Richard asked if he could use me as a model I said yes. I was actually pleased for him to research the past which I could remember only with difficulty and then when Matt Damon was cast in the original film, The Bourne Identity, he came over to see me and spent a day trying to get my walk right. It was difficult because my walk is actually quite strange.

Things changed however with the success of the franchise.

Jeremy Renner didn’t even write me an email and Matt Damon, I’ve not seen at all this time round. One phone call. One. And that was just to tell me to stop sending the parcels of food. It ain’t as if I want to go on the red carpet or get paid a lot of money. I just want my contribution to be recognized.

However, filmmaker Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon have both issued statements that Jason Bourne simply has the same name as the fictional agent and the 57 year old postal worker should cease harassing the production.

Jason Bourne will be released next week.

5 FACTS WE LEARNED ABOUT CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD – The new trailer to Captain America: Civil War dropped and with it the first sight of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man, but what did we really learn.

The Studio Exec FACT Squad is currently being ripped asunder (which is not good) by a civil war about which side to support on Captain America: Civil War, so we sent both halves of the warring squad into battle to find out five FACTS about the new film from watching the trailer once on a phone with a poor Wi-Fi connection.

1. It is historically inaccurate. Although the characters wear ‘costumes’ they are not correct to the period from 1861-1865 in which the Civil War took place.

2. Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Emily VanCamp, Don Cheadle, Jeremy Renner,Chadwick Boseman, Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Rudd, Frank Grillo, Tom Holland, William Hurt, and Daniel Brühl are in it

3. Tony Stark loves Captain America’s perfect teeth but there’s an edge there.

4. New York, Washington and Skikky-lovia have been destroyed. Everyone looks serious, including William Hurt who is playing Michael Douglas, Robert Redford and Jeff Bridges.

5. Black Panther isn’t actually a panther. And Spider-Man isn’t actually a Spider.

For more FACTS click HERE.

MATT DAMON DISCUSSES NEW BOURNE MOVIE AND REVEALS TITLE

HOLLYWOOD – Matt Damon has discussed for the first time the new Bourne movie which he is to star in directed by Paul Greengrass.

After the mega-success of the Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy and The Bourne Ultimatum, Matt Damon will play Bourne for the fourth time, following a less successful incarnation The Bourne Legacy, starring Jeremy Renner, which existed in the same universe but did not feature Jason Bourne.  Matt Damon dropped by the Studio Exec Jacuzzi to discuss the new film, to be entitled The Bourne Austerity:

We’re still in very early stages, but I can tell you some stuff.  The first Bournes were very much a result of the Bush presidency and so we were in a War on Terror and black ops and that whole feeling of the US running rogue in the world. With Obama came a sense of hope, but now we have an austerity struck Europe and a US foreign policy that relies on massive surveillance which has also been used domestically.

So The Bourne Austerity is like a post-Snowden thriller?

Exactly. The film starts off in Greece where some of you might remember that Bourne actually helped run a scooter hire business. He’s gone back there where he used to be happy with his new girlfriend Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles). But Greece is defaulting on its loans and in the run up to a new bailout Jason Bourne is activated by Angela Merkel to take out Alex Tsipiras, the new Greek prime minister. Of course, Bourne realizes he is being used and turns against his masters once more. Then they send in Jeremy Renner as a cheap version of me – again the austerity theme – but because of Quantative Easing they finally manage to spend some money on destroying Greece and they send in Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) to finish the job. It’s very exciting at the end.

The Bourne Austerity will be released in 2017.

ALEX GIBNEY TO STAR IN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 6

HOLLYWOOD – Documentary filmmaker Alex Gibney is to star in the next installment of Mission Impossible, it was revealed today.

Although it is as yet unclear which role Alex Gibney will play, word has it that Tom Cruise is personally writing the script.

An insider told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Tom is always very involved with the creative process but in this case he’s so hands on I think this might end up being the first film that Tom writes in its entirety and he’s fairly keen to direct it as well, although chances are Christopher McQuarrie will return.

 The news came as something of a surprise given that Gibney’s latest film the HBO documentary “Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief” was an expose of the “religion” of which Cruise has been a lifelong spokesperson and believer.

Gibney himself seemed nonplussed by the news:

Are you sure? Well, that would be a turn up for the books. But sure I don’t mind doing a bit of acting if Tom needs some doing. And it would be nice to be in film rather than pointing the camera at other people.

Despite being early days, there are some clues to Gibney’s role from the studio synopsis:

Once more the IMF is faced with a threat to world peace via the Syndicate. Led by documentary filmmaker Malik Ribney (Alex Gibney), the terrorists look to overturn the world order, freedom and democracy by spreading lies and infiltrating the media. Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his team (Jeremy Renner, Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg), however, are hot on their lying tails and are willing to unleash all manner of horrific violence in what will prove to be the first R rated Mission Impossible film.

Mission Impossible: Thetan Vengence will be released in 2017.

POPULATION OF SWEDEN CAST IN AVENGERS: CIVIL WAR

HOLLYWOOD -The 9,593,421 population of Sweden were confirmed to all have roles in the upcoming Avengers movie, Avengers Civil War.

The entire Swedish population will join Paul Rudd, Martin Freeman, Daniel Bruhl, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Robert Downey Jr, Elizabeth Olsen, Scarlett Johansson, Chadwick Boseman, Frank Grillo, William Hurt and Don Cheadle in Avengers Civil War, the third movie in the sequence. The Russo brothers popped in to the Studio Exec bungalow to explain EXCLUSIVELY their thinking behind the move.

Anthony Russo: We want this movie to have a genuinely epic scale. Civil War! You know it gives you that feeling of size, of magnificent hugeness. In the past Avengers movies have concentrated on teams and cities, but now we’re into armies and nations. So Sweden seemed like the perfect choice. They speak really good English and we picked up some nice tax breaks.

But when you say cast, you mean extras, right? I mean nine million people here.

Joe Russo: Well, the positive thing is they come with their own infrastructure and a system of government. Ha ha! No, but seriously, we are talking about speaking roles here. Not just what we used to call Background Artists.

That’s crazy!

AR: Is it? Terrence Malick used the entire population of France to make To the Wonder.

No he didn’t.

JR: Did so! But in the end he cut most of them. To their immense relief, it has to be said, once they saw the movie.

Avengers: Civil War will be released in 2016.

JEREMY RENNER CHRIS EVANS: FULL INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

HOLLYWOOD – It was an ordinary press junket for their new film Avengers: Age of Ultron, but for Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans it was about to become real.

Then the interviewer asked Captain America (Chris Evans) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) what they thought of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and the fact her character fell in love with another character (SPOILER) who was not their characters in a fictional universe. What happened next will blow your mind. Read the full interview transcript below:

Jeremy Renner: Well, obviously, I think it sucks. I mean I thought we – that is to say our fictional characters were close but it’s typical, isn’t it?

Chris Evans: Yes. I was hoping that we might get together. After all there aren’t many women in the Marvel universe and so for the rest of the time it’s one big sausage fest.

JR: In a way you could see that as part of the problem. Goddamned Bechdel test. If we didn’t have to have a woman in it, we could just all be men and there wouldn’t be this kind of conversation tearing us apart.

CE: I agree with Jeremy on this. Women just cause heartbreak and although I respect Scarlett as a fellow performer and a human being, I’d have to say that in general all women are horrible, conniving, duplicitous, actively evil people and the world would be a much better places if it was just men having men babies through their men holes.

Interviewer: (LAUGHING) Men holes?

JR: Hey Chris is serious, man. We talked about this on set and we all agree. If women could just like all go away. JOss did a great job of getting rid of Natalie Portman and Gwyneth Paltrow and I know there was a version of the script where Black Widow was on the wrong end of a HULK SMASH, but I don’t know what happened, it’s political correctness gone mad again I guess.

CE: Just think about it. All us men, with no women soiling the place with their menstrual cycles and boy band crushes. We could leave the toilet seat up.

JR: We could leave the toilet door open.

CE: We wouldn’t have to wear pants. We could just walk around with no pants on our junk swinging free. It’d be great.

Interviewer: You’re joking.

CE: NO! We are deadly serious. Women must be stopped.

JR: I wrote a letter.

CE: I love the way your mind works man.

JR: Thanks guy. I love you too.

Avengers Age of Ultron is in cinemas currently.

5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THE GOLDEN GLOBES

HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec sent in the world famous FACT squad to find out exactly what the Golden Globes taught us about everything.

1. George Clooney went and got married when no one was looking. The world’s most famous bachelor tied the knot with some civil rights lawyer or other sometime in the last year, probably during some kind of secret ceremony.

2. Bill Cosby is easier to joke about than Woody Allen, because everyone is pretty sure he did it. Whereas last year’s Cecil B. DeMille recipient Woody Allen was sniped at via social media by Mia Farrow et al, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler had a couple of rapey jokes which even Ricky Gervais wouldn’t have got away with.

3. Pompeii might not be such a run in for the best picture nomination as previously predicted.

4. Jeremy Renner is in line for Andrew Dice Clay’s crown as stand up comedian of risque material, with his ‘Look at the Golden Globes on you’ hilarious rib-tickler which he slotted in Jennifer Lopez’s direction, who – it turns out – has breasts. You see it’s funny because it’s true. Hmmmm. That one should have stayed in the Joke Locker.

5. Hollywood can take a joke. Except for Emma Stone, who seemed to be quite pissed at being referred to as a Big Eyes painting. And Wes Anderson who rolled his eyes at a riff on his whimsy. And Oprah Winfrey who didn’t seem to get the irony of Tina Fey. And Jeremy Renner can’t tell a joke, who isn’t, to be fair, funny.

For more Movie FACTS CLICK HERE!  

AMERICAN SNIPER: REVIEW

AMERICAN SNIPER: REVIEW – Bradley Cooper’s Hangover 4 takes a dour turn as it heads off to war in Iraq.

Clint Eastwood’s Iraq war drama based on the real life story of America’s ‘deadliest sniper’ Chris Kyle and based on his memoir is a confusing and weird film. As an initial character study it resembles last year’s Dallas Buyers Club in taking an unlikely Southern character and turning him into something like a hero. We first see Kyle as a sniper deployed in Iraq. On a roof top covering the advance of a platoon of marines, he is presented with an impossible choice. A woman and her ten year old son approach the platoon with apparent intent. Does Kyle shoot them to protect the platoon, or does he renege on his duty and put the platoon at risk? Flashback to the rest of his life up until this point.

Kyle grows up with a gun in his hand and bottle fed a stern Christian based (almost Manichean) morality. There are wolves, sheep and sheep dogs, his father tells him, with his belt on the table. Kyle is thus pre-molded for when he finds his vocation in the Navy SEALs elite squad. But Cooper’s performance elevates Kyle from some brainwashed grunt. He is a chivalrous old fashioned type who falls completely for Taya (Sienna Miller), a feisty young woman who already feels she’s been around the block once too often. They marry with the second Gulf War imminent and Kyle’s deployment almost certain. And so back to shooting children.

Eastwood has created a weird film. The war scenes are compelling and work as a companion piece to Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker. As with Jeremy Renner’s character, Kyle is an expert who genuinely enjoys war as it gives him the opportunity to enact that expertise to its fullest potential. His simplistic us and them view of the world – the Iraqis are ‘savages’ who need to be exterminated –  is as narrow as you’d expect from someone who spends his life looking down a telescopic sight. Kyle is the man with the hammer who sees only nails. Whereas a friendship of sorts grew up between an Iraqi boy and the bomb disposal expert in Bigelow’s film, Kyle has little contact with the Iraqi populace short of popping them. One moment of apparent peace and civility – a meal shared in the house of  a suspect – is revealed to be a duplicitous trick.

This is not to say that the film wholeheartedly endorses Kyle’s viewpoint. His unwavering commitment to the war increasingly looks more like a symptom of PTSD or simple psychopathy than a political ethos. Or worse still, it is a self-serving justification to allow Kyle to keep killing people. His only moral quandary, his only stated doubt, is that he didn’t kill enough people and thereby save more of his own tribe. His upset at shooting a child he explains to a friend is because it was his first kill, like a man disappointed to have lost his virginity in an ugly drunken tryst.

Kyle’s entire life is defined by guns: from hunting with his dad, to Fallujah and on to hunting with his son. He even wins his wife’s affections by showing off his prowess at a funfair shooting gallery.  There’s a weird moment with his wife late on when he points a gun at her and tells her to drop her knickers – as a joke, with their kids in the next room – which might be a litmus test for how you view the protagonist and the whole film. If you see this as the good old boy charm of a happy domestic scene, you’ll read the film as a NRA approved portrait of a patriot who sacrificed his own mental well-being to protect and serve. Otherwise, you might see that the war will never end for this man, no matter where he is. And that the American in the title is a disturbing pairing with echoes of American Psycho, as if that’s what America is now, a country that kills at long range.

A final note on historical accuracy/honesty. American Sniper is open to criticism similar to that leveled at the Dallas Buyers Club. Just as McConaughey’s sexuality was straightened out by the Oscar winning film, so Kyle’s racism and his loud self-promotion is dampened down in Eastwood’s. Cooper’s Kyle is embarrassed by his legend, modest and self-effacing and as such eminently likable. In reality, Kyle wrote the book the film is based on, starred in a reality TV show, claimed to have shot looters post-Katrina and gave interviews to Bill O’Reilly et al claiming to have punched out Jesse Ventura (a case for defamation was found in the plaintive’s favor). Along with these omissions is the invention of an Iraqi sniper as a nemesis and mirror image of Kyle who is basically the Ivan Drago to Cooper’s Rocky IV.

This is a well made and intense war film. But I always felt like I was in the cinema featured in Inglourious Basterds watching the film about the Nazi sniper. Except the Nazi didn’t shoot children.

For more Reviews CLICK HERE.

NEW BOURNE TITLE REVEALED

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Greengrass has announced via his website details of the upcoming Bourne 5 starring Matt Damon.

Here is the information taken directly from the site:

Title: Bourne Free

Synopsis

When Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is forced to kill a lioness out of self-defence, he brings home three orphaned cubs she had been trying to protect. Bourne tends to the three orphaned lion cubs to young lionhood, and, when the time comes, the two largest are sent to the Rotterdam Zoo, while Elsa the Lioness (the smallest of the litter) remains with Jason. When Elsa is held responsible for stampeding a herd of elephants through a village, John Kendall (Mads Mikkelsen), Bourne’s boss gives him three months to either rehabilitate Elsa to the wild, or send her to a zoo.

With no mention of the character Jeremy Renner played in the previous Bourne film, some have speculated that Greengrass will simply gloss over that picture but when asked by a journalist if this was the case, the director confirmed Renner will be making an appearance:

We’re getting Jeremy in for a couple of days. He won’t be in the film but during the opening titles you’ll see him getting eaten alive by a lion. It’s very much like a Bond opening sequence we’ve even got Tom Jones singing The Lion Sleeps Tonight. It’s going to be epic.

Bourne Free is due for release in 2016.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON WILL FEATURE THE THUNDERCATS

HOLLYWOOD – It isn’t due out until 2015 but the sequel to the mega-successful Avengers is already lighting up the rumor bots across the Internets and one major news story has come to light: Avengers: Age of Ultron will meet up with the Thundercats.

Joss Whedon – long-time fan of the Japanese/American animated series from the 1980s – was initially involved in the feature film reboot which was put on indefinite hold last year, but with Marvel having published a series of comics based on the series, it seemed to Whedon that it would be a perfect fit. Lion-O and pals Cheetara, Panthro and Snarf humanoid feline aliens from the planet Thundera would it seems team up with Iron Man, Captain America, the Incredible Hulk, Thor, Jeremy Renner and Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett…

This also gives Marvel the opportunity of making a slew of stand alone films featuring the various Thundercats characters, the first of which – Lion-O – is likely to go into production later this year with Kenneth Branagh both starring and ‘directing’.

While some fans will moan and bitch about the series having absolutely nothing to do with each other and that this is woefully misguided violation of the integrity of what they call ‘the Marvel Universe’, Marvel studio heads have responded by making ca-ching noises and waving hundred dollar bills at fans while they drive past in their souped up Ferraris.

Avengers: Age of Ultron is due for release in 2015.