HATEFUL EIGHT DISQUALIFIED FROM OSCARS

HOLLYWOOD – In a shock move the Quentin Tarantino movie The Hateful Eight has had its Oscar nominations revoked and the film has been disqualified from the Oscars completely.

The Hateful Eight was nominated for Best Supporting Actress Jennifer Jason Leigh, cinematography and score for Ennio Morricone. However, all these nominations have been rescinded. An Academy spokesperson gave the Studio Exec the rationale for this unprecedented move:

We hadn’t seen the full film and when we did we realized that the actor Samuel L. Jackson has quite a prominent role in the film. And well… this is embarrassing, but you see, he’s a little bit black.

A little bit…

Well, actually, he’s very black. And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but here at the Academy we’ve been trying to make things easier, streamline the whole process and just have people who are white get the awards and stuff.

But Samuel L. Jackson isn’t even nominated.

Yes, but what if Jennifer Jason Leigh invites him along?

But you have a black host.

What?

Chris Rock is black. 

No, he isn’t. I mean I saw him in Madagascar. He’s black and white.

But that was an animated movie. He’s not actually a zebra.

Are you serious?

Oh, come on.

No, wait this will work. We have Chris Rock, who is apparently black, hosting and then everyone else white, that’s great because then no one can accuse us of racism! Problem solved. And no angry Samuel L. Jackson telling us horrid stories about forcing someone’s son to do unspeakables on his unmentionables.

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THE HATEFUL EIGHT

HOLLYWOOD – With the release of the new trailer for Quentin Tarantino’s 8th film The Hateful Eight hitting the internet, what do we really know about this so called ‘Western’?

The Studio Exec sent the FACT Squad into the snowy mountains to discover all they could about the new Quentin Tarantino film The Hateful Eight.

1. Although Quentin Tarantino has completed the film, The Hateful Eight will never be seen by anyone. This is because when the script leaked onto the internet, Tarantino promised that he would never make the film and Tarantino is a man of his word. Many wished they’d leaked Deathproof onto the internet instead. After a successful live script read, Tarantino decided he would after all make the film, but no one would ever see it. It is due to be destroyed in December.

2. The Hateful Eight is Quentin Tarantino’s eighth film and it also has eight in the title. There are eight main characters. It was filmed over eight weeks with eight cameras operated by eight camera operators all of whom have only eight fingers and eight toes. There was a tale told of cameramen so motivated to take part in the production they asked Eli Roth to cut off the digits which were surplus to requirement.

3. Kurt Russell’s Mustache is so magnificent that it has not only reversed climate change but is currently defeating ISIS in Syria. There are delegations from the UN pleading with Mr. Russell to keep from shaving.

4. The cast for The Hateful Eight includes many Tarantino regulars, including Tim Roth, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Dern, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Michael Madsen and Kurt Russell. According to onset rumors, the entire cast had sex in a massive orgy organized by Tarantino who sat on a tennis umpire’s chair shouting directions through a large cardboard cone.

5. The Hateful Eight is the first Quentin Tarantino movie to feature an original score by the old maestro of Spaghetti western soundtracks, Ennio Morricone. This despite tensions between the two after Quentin asked to do some whistling on the soundtrack. ‘Ennio does all his own whistling,’ Tarantino explained to Comic-Con.

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THE HATEFUL EIGHT – REVIEW

THE HATEFUL EIGHT – REVIEW: Quentin Tarantino’s second Western is a bloody locked room mystery of a wide screen claustrophobia and unbridled suspicion and violence.

John Ruth (Kurt Russell at his most John Wayne-y) is a bounty hunter nicknamed the Hangman, because instead of shooting his targets and bringing them to town over a saddle insists on seeing them hang. Escorting notorious female felon, Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh) to the gallows he meets Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson), a former soldier turned bounty hunter who has his own bodies to bring to market. Along the way they also meet Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins), a Confederate bushwhacker turned Red Rock sheriff. Why all these characters happen upon one another while running ahead of a potentially deadly blizzard is never fully explained and the mystery gets even deeper when they arrive at the dubious refuge of Minnie’s Haberdashery where they meet up with cowboy, Michael Madsen, Englishman, Tim Roth, Southern General, Bruce Dern and Mexican Bob, Demian Bechir. Minnie, sweet Dave and the other regulars of the place are missing and something is obviously afoot.

What follows is bloody and witty, long-winded, frustrating, violent (obviously) and both overwhelming and underwhelming at exactly the same time. The premise is much more modest than the epic treatment it is given. The Hateful Eight feels like an Agatha Christie inspired bottle episode of Bonanza written by Sam Peckinpah, but why it has to be three hours long  and shot in 70 mm is beyond me. There are performances to relish from the veterans of the cast – and it is a blessed relief to not have to put up with the supposedly brilliant Christoph Waltz any longer. Ennio Morricone’s score is worth the price of admission alone. The opening scenes of the snowy Wyoming landscapes are gorgeous but like many mysteries the initial intrigue leaks out with each ho-hum revelation. Of plot holes there are several and Bob and Harvey Weinstein might do well to employ a tough no nonsense script editor on the final two Tarantino productions.   All of that said, The Hateful Eight is a better film than Django Unchained and Inglourious Bastereds, though it doesn’t reach the early peaks of Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs.

 

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FX TO MAKE HUDSUCKER PROXY TV SHOW

HOLLYWOOD – Following the success of the Fargo TV show, FX have announced they have green lit a spin off TV version of the hit Coen Brothers movie: The Hudsucker Proxy.

Based on the 1994 film starring Tim Robbins, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Paul Newman, The Hudsucker Proxy TV show will be written by Noah Hawley and executive produced by the Coen Brothers. Hawley came by the Studio Exec Bungalow to talk about the project:

I’m really excited. We’ve done two seasons of Fargo and the third will be a real challenge but now I have enough people in place that I can kind of let it run itself and I am ready for a new challenge. Hudsucker is going to give me that.

How is it going to be different from Fargo?

Well, if you’ve seen the film you’ll know that it is a tribute to the sort of screwball comedies of the 30s and 40s and much less dark than Fargo. So we’re going to be doing that. There will be much less violence. Bruce Campbell also had a great role in the film so we’re hoping he’ll come back for us.

So there’ll be less violence?

Oh absolutely. The whole tone will be lighter and more comic. Plus we’re looking at a totally different demographic. A younger audience. This is going to be fun and youthful, colorful and with lots of music and dance. Oh and they’re going to be the Muppets as well. They are going to be working in Hudsucker Industries int he lower sections.

That sounds… very different. So it’s going to be …

You know for kids.

The Hudsucker Proxy: The Show will be broadcast in 2016.