QUENTIN TARANTINO SUED BY EVERYBODY

HOLLYWOOD – Quentin Tarantino is to be sued by everybody, it emerged today.

Following the release of The Hateful Eight, it was revealed that Quentin Tarantino was to be sued for alleged similarity between a screenplay and Django Unchained. However, this looks to be only the first in what promises to be numerous law suits.

Legal expert and the Studio Exec’s personal lawyer Marty Drang offered his legal opinion:

Frankly no one knew that you could accuse Quentin Tarantino of plagiarism. It’s a little like accusing Beethoven of writing symphonies. But now that the cherry has been picked so to speak, I can forecast that everyone who has ever written a screenplay, directed a film or even made a passing comment about a film will feel empowered to sue the motor-mouth postmodernist until they have him down to his last mix tape.

According to Drang legal cases pending from several million suits are already being prepared:

There’s the Japanese, the Koreans, Jean Luc Godard, the Italians, obscure American TV directors. The list goes on and on. Kung Fu, Spaghetti Westerns, John Carpenter, the estate of Agatha Christie, and Madonna.

The question on everyone’s lips is obviously do these suits have a chance of success and can I sue him too?

I’ve already filed the paperwork.

The Hateful Eight is currently being held in escrow.

JEAN LUC GODARD’S DRINK MORE MILK CAMPAIGN

PARIS – Breathless and Alphaville director Jean Luc Godard has today launched a campaign aimed at getting people to drink more milk.

Godard was one of the principal filmmakers of the celebrated Nouvelle Vague (New Wave) which changed French and World Cinema in the 1960s. With a series of films from Un Bande Apart to Goodbye to Language, Godard has consistently created challenging and daring movies that sought to elevate film as an art form. More recently he has become interested in milk. He spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the campaign.

Milk is delicious. It’s natural and fresh. You can have it cold from the fridge in the morning or you can have warm milk and cookies as a tasty supper just before you go to bed. You can put it on cornflakes, or any kind of breakfast cereal or in tea or coffee, and it can also be used in recipes. But for me there is nothing better than a glass of milk on its own. It tastes of goodness.

The announcement came as a surprise to many devotees of the Gallic genius who saw it as a u-turn from his position in the 1960s, inspired by the teachings of Chinese Communism that milk was the ultimate in capitalist exploitation. In his 1968 interview with Michel Ciment for Cahiers, Godard had been unequivocal in his rejection of milk.

I ask myself: what is milk? The answer to me is obvious. Milk is the food for the children of the animals that produce the milk. That is what it is for. We are the only animal in existence that steals the baby’s food from other species, that drink breast milk meant for the young! It is capitalist exploitation at its most unnatural.

However, when asked to comment on his former position, the director of Le Mepris and Weekend, waved his cigar in the air:

It is rich in calcium!

Jean Luc Godard’s new film The Milk of Human Kindness will be released in 2016.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT CANNES

CANNES – The Cannes Film Festival runs from 13th of May until the 24th of May in the beautiful seaside town of Cannes, but what do we really know about it?

We sent The Studio Exec FACT squad to the Croissette to find out.

1. The Cannes-Cannes dance originated at the Cannes Film Festival. It was invented by Francious Truffaut as an expression of joy when his debut film Les Quatre Cents Coups (400 Blows) won the best director award in 1959. It then became customary for ever winner to do the dance before their acceptance speech. The practice was eventually banned in 1991 after the Coen Brothers used their celebratory dance – on winning a rare sweep of the major awards for Barton Fink – to kick their arch rivals the Baldwin brothers in their faces.

2. Lars Von Trier was declared Persona Non Grata by the Cannes Film Festival following his Nazi-y remarks at the press conference for Melancholia. Cannes authorities were particularly upset because noted Jew Mel Gibson was also at the festival starring in Jodie Foster’s porn film The Beaver.

3. Clint Eastwood was the President of one of the most lively juries in Cannes history. The arguments between the jurists led in some instances to punch ups and in others to marriage. In the end the Jury awarded the Palme d’Or to Pulp Fiction. Eastwood justified his choice by saying ‘Although I didn’t care for the picture’s violence and profane dialogue, the furniture was really sexy!’

4. The red carpet down which the stars and directors walk before every major premiere is dyed red from the blood of last year’s losers, each of whom have to donate three pints of blood before they are allowed to leave the Cote d’Azure.

5. The Cannes Film Festival is divided into several different sections. There’s the main competition, then Un Certain Regard sidebar, The Director’s Fortnight and the Dardennes Brothers section, which is devoted to the films of the Dardennes Brothers.

For more FACTS click HERE.

XAVIER POULIS: DOES CINEMA PROVE THE EXISTENCE OF GOD?










GENEVA – Today Swiss cinema and cheese expert, Xavier Poulis tries to resolve one of the most difficult question in philosophy: does God exist?

‘Allo.
God, Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, L. Ron Hubbard. We all have different names for God and different relationships to him. Richard Dawkins doesn’t believe he exists and George W. Bush talks to him frequently. One of these intellectual giants is telling ‘le whopper grand’ as we say in the cantons of Switzerland. So I’ve decided to settle the matter once and for all, after which no more talking, etc. Just bide by my words. And enough with the talking and silliness.


Arguments for God.

  1. Woody Allen’s early output, especially Love and Death and Manhattan.
  2. Scarlett  Johansson.
  3. Jean Luc Godard.
  4. The Empire Strikes Back.
  5. Robert de Niro in Raging Bull and Taxi Driver.

Arguments against God.

  1. Woody Allen’s later output, especially Scoop and Curse of the Jade Scorpion. 
  2. Scarlett Johansson singing.
  3. Jean Luc Godard.
  4. The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith and Ewoks.
  5. Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers.
  6. Adam Sandler.
So there we have it. God doesn’t exist. Carry on.

SCARY MOVIE 5: SEVEN YEARS IN THE MAKING

 

HOLLYWOOD – In 2006, when Scary Movie 4 was released everyone naturally assumed that the next entry in the money spinning, gross out and laugh free franchise would be along within the year.

After all, up until that point each script had taken less time to write than it actually took to sit down and watch the finished movie. However, six years passed and no Scary Movie. Some hoped – even prayed – that the bone headed franchise which only seemed to exist to give Charlie Sheen and his wife money had finally fallen into its own dark hole of pointlessness. Yet now a new entry is on the horizon and Studio Exec asked Malcolm D. Lee (cousin of Spike) what took so long?

‘There was the feeling that the quality of the franchise had gone downhill,’ said Lee. ‘We wanted this to not just be another Scary Movie movie, we wanted it to be a Scary Movie movie that was also a good movie movie, a moving Scary Movie movie movie.’

Beginning in 2000 with  the Keenen Ivory Wayans directed Scary Movie, the formula was quickly implemented with a series of broad stroke parodies played out by tired hams and vacuously inept actors. Scary Movie 2 followed in 2001 and Scary Movie 3 followed in 2002 and Scary Movie 4 in 2006 under the direction of the once great David Zucker.  

We watched a lot Andrei Tarkovsky. I’m particularly fond of Stalker. I thought Tarkovsky because I know that Keenen had been very influenced by Ingmar Bergman, especially his later films, so I didn’t want to repeat him. And Zucker of course is Godardian to a fault. If you watch A Bout de Souffle and then you watch Scary Movie 3 you’ll see that structurally the films are identical. 

 What can we expect to see that’ll be different from the other Scary Movies?

Obviously I don’t want to ruin a very successful franchise. But we sat down and we went through the script again and again and again. We put in layers. We put in a whole Kabbalistic thing and then we took it out. We got all the actors to get into their roles in a way that was crazy. Charlie Sheen went totally method and I think you can see that in the headlines as well as the film.

Scary Movie 5 will be released in 2018.