JAMES BOND SPINOFF MOVIE ANNOUNCED

BREAKING NEWS – Ending months of speculation, EON productions and Barbara Broccoli have confirmed a James Bond spinoff movie is set to go into production shortly. The James Bond spinoff movie will tell the story of ‘The Bottle Man’, the guy who witnesses various crazy James Bond stunts around the world in several Bond films. The Exec caught up with Barbara Broccoli to find out more on this surprising project.

Barbara, Why Did You Choose The Bottle Man As Your First Bond Spinoff?

We knew everyone would be expecting us to go with a female double-0 kinda vibe. So we thought it would be cool to go in a direction nobody would be expecting. There’s a whole raft of female led action movies out there now, with Black Widow, Atomic Blonde and the upcoming Furiosa thing. Therefore the market’s flooded. We thought let’s expand the JBU (James Bond Universe) in terms of genre. That’s when we came up with the idea of going with a character driven, arthouse picture. The Bottle Man is the perfect choice to explore what drives men to drink and become toxic assholes. No one’s done that before.

Can You Explain Who The Bottle Man Is?

He was a guy who briefly appeared double-taking when Bond emerges from the sea in his Lotus on The Spy Who Loved Me. He then did the same when Bond is in that fucking motorized Gondola during Moonraker. He also turns up during the ski and bike chase in For Your Eyes Only. This is a guy who spends his time on some pretty expensive holidays, but he’s always drinking. We wanted to explore what drives him to drink.

How Do You Intend To Do That?

We’re going to tell his stories leading up to and including those encounters. It’ll be a trilogy, one encounter for each movie. It’s like our version of Kieslowski’s Trois Couleurs Trilogy. Think Bond meets Bukowski and you can’t go far wrong.

Who Is Playing The Bottle Man?

Jean Dujardin. We figured he owes us after making a killing on those fucking OSS-117 movies. We couldn’t even Kevin McLory his ass in court. So we figured, if you can’t beat them, give them a shit ton of dough to do your own stuff. That fucker took the bait. No more OSS, that’s for sure.

The Bottle Man Part 1 Starts Filming In The New Year

AARON SORKIN TO REMAKE THE ARTIST

HOLLYWOOD – Aaron Sorkin is working on a remake of the Oscar winning The Artist.

Today, Aaron Sorkin announced this his next project will be a remake of the 2011 Oscar-winner The Artist.

The writer of the West Wing and Trial of the Chicago 7 spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I’m a big fan of the film. I love Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo. They are superb. So I was nervous. Why go to the bother of ruining something that’s so perfect? Right?

Well, yeah.

That’s what I thought. But then it occurred to me that I could see a way of putting the Sorkin stamp on it. There was one area that the film really lacked. Can you guess what it is?

It’s in black and white?

No. Well, yes, now you mention it, it is in black and white. Okay two areas. Jesus, maybe the film isn’t that good after all. Anyway, the one that irked me was the lack of dialogue.

Well, it’s a silent movie. 

So you noticed too. I mean I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to the witty dialogue exchange. Quick fire. Arguments. Jokes. The whole shebang. As I’ve explained in EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW I’VE EVER DONE, I consider it to be like music. With its own rhythms and what not.

But the movie is supposed to be a tribute to the films of the silent era. 

Right. But without dialogue, I don’t even know how that is supposed to work.

Silent movies didn’t have dialogue. 

Fuck off.

It’s true. 

You mean to say there are a whole bunch of old films without witty quick fire screwball comedy style dialogue?

Erm. Yeah. Any film prior to 1927. 

Wooo-eee!

Aaron Sorkin’s The Artist drops on Netflix one of the Januarys.

THE ARTIST REMAKE WILL BE IN COLOR AND A TALKIE SAYS DIRECTOR KEVIN COSTNER

HOLLYWOOD – Kevin Costner to remake 2011 Oscar winning comedy The Artist in color and sound.

The Artist is a lovingly recreated pastiche of the silent movie era. Written, directed, and co-edited by Michel Hazanavicius and starring Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo, the original film won hearts and awards and then sunk without trace never to be seen again. No one watched The Artist after 2012.

Kevin Costner however has decided to direct a remake, starring Matt Damon and Alicia Vikander.

We want to make the film because it was a very funny movie about making movies and there aren’t enough funny films about making movies.

But you’re making it in color?

Yes, exactly. When I saw the film originally I thought there was something up with my television. First of all, it was in black and white. I tried to adjust my set. I went through all the menus but it made no difference. Then someone told me that was how it was supposed to be. Oh and the volume on my television also didn’t seem to work.

But it is supposed to be silent.

Yes, well, that’s stupid. Who wants to go and see a silent black and white movie? This film remember won loads of awards. Tons. Just imagine how many awards our remake is going to win when everyone sees that it is in color and we can actually hear the characters speak!

It’s supposed to be a tribute to the great movies of the Twenties! A loving recreation of the golden age of cinema!

Yeah. Screw all that. I made Dances with Wolves. Was it in black and white? No! Could you hear me speak when I spoke? Yes! So there.

The Artist will be released in 2020.