HOLLYWOOD – 50 Shades of Grey 2 doesn’t go into production for a few months but the script is complete and Studio Exec has gained EXCLUSIVE access to the final draft.
INT. A CORRIDOR. NIGHT.
We move down a corridor towards a bedroom door.
No, oh no. Stop. Oh it’s too much. Stop please!
You know you want it.
We go through the door and into…
INT. DARK BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Candles light the dark bedroom of Christian Gray. Clothes trail across the floor. A red evening dress, some lacy lingerie.
Anastasia Steele is in bed. Her hands are tied to the bed posts and she is blindfolded. She has put on a lot of weight since we saw her last.
Yes, I want it. I want it.
Ha! I knew it. But you must beg your master.
He takes a chicken fry from the bucket of chicken fries that he had been holding out of sight. He wafts it in front of her face.
Anastasia reaches for it with her mouth but he pulls the bucket back at the last minute and starts eating them himself.
Oh you sadistic asshole!
Christian – who has also gained a substantial amount of weight – starts laughing his head off as he shovels more and more chicken fries into his mouth.
Suddenly he grips his chest. His face contorts in pain and he collapses dead.
Christian, Christian are you okay? Christian answer me.
She sniffs the air and twists her body so she can reach the fallen bucket of chicken fries. Twisting in a weirdly erotic way she manages to lodge her head in the bucket where noise of enthusiastic and happy eating can be heard.
HOLLYWOOD – The Studio Exec has managed to get our hands EXCLUSIVELY on the first draft of the FIFTY SHADES OF GREY 2 script. Read here.
Anastasia is naked, blindfolded and tied to the bed. Christian Grey appears, his turgid penis glistening in the moonlight.
Tell me you want it.
I want it.
I don’t believe you. Make me believe you.
I want it. God, Christian. I want it so bad.
Please, please. I beg you. Take me. Take me now!
What’s the matter?
Nothing, just give me a minute.
Hello. Are you still there?
Yeah, I’m still here.
Then what the hell are you doing?
Ah. Look. This isn’t going to happen.
I knew you shouldn’t have had the 4th Vodka Espresso.
Yeah. Shall I order a Chinese and we’ll watch something on Netflix?
Sure. Untie my arms and go and order.
(Christian unities her arms and she takes off the blindfold)
There we go. Are you coming down?
I’ll just finish myself off and I’ll be down a minute. I’ll have a Beef Curry and some of those Satay Chicken on sticks.
Is the Pope a f*cking Catholic?
HOLLYWOOD – New guidelines on how to watch Fifty Shades of Grey have published.
Fifty Shades of Grey Watching Guide:
1. Sit comfortably in the cinema.
2. Take the blindfold out of your trouser pocket where it will have been warmed by your excitement.
3. Position the blindfold over your eyes and then tie the knot tight. No peeking. Tight I said. Owch, that’s too tight. Okay that’s Okay.
4. Oh wait, they might have some good trailers. Take the blindfold off.
5. Nope, adverts. Put it back on again.
6. Now there are trailers. They might have the one for Mad Max: Fury Road or The Force Awakens.
7. The movie is beginning. Reposition the blindfold.
8. Take the earplugs out of your pocket where they will be moist from the melted chocolate bar you forgot was in there.
9. Put them in your ears. That’s right. In. Deep. Uh huh! Okay. Can you hear me? No of course you can’t I could say anything. You smell like a wet badger. Did you hear that? I don’t care if you did. Did it hurt your feelings? I don’t care. I am the MASTER.
10. Once the film is over, think about the ten dollars you paid for your ticket and you didn’t even get to see the film did you? Ow! That hurts! Think about it again. Ow. And again. Again. Ahhhhhhhh.
Fifty Shades of Grey is out.
HOLLYWOOD – The trailer for the new 50 Shades of Grey film hit the internet this week, along with a rumor that the ending of the film will be dramatically different from the finale of the E.L. James authored masterpiece.
Continue reading “50 SHADES OF GREY ENDING CHANGED”