SNEAK PEEK OF JAMIE BELL AS 007

HOLLYWOOD – Following the revelation that English actor Jamie Bell will replace Daniel Craig as James Bond 007, an image was released onto the internet which is supposedly the first poster for the new James Bond movie: Jimmy Bond.

Jamie Bell has been confirmed to play an earlier incarnation of Her Majesty’s most secret agent, James Bond 007.

The film begins long before Casino Royale when James Bond was simply Jimmy Bond, just another boy in the prep school, with dreams of espionage and ballet. But mainly espionage.

Jimmy Bond first apeared as a character int he Peter Sellers parody Casino Royale and was played by Woody Allen, but the new version of the Bond character is to be taken seriously according to writer Paul Haggis:

We’ve been playing for years with the idea of putting a younger Bond on screen. Charlie Higson wrote some really interesting Young Adult novels with the young Bond, but we’re going to do something different. This is going to be the first James Bond song and dance film and I think it’s about time. Bond won’t be dealing with Spectre and SMERSH but instead, a batey headmaster and a couple of bully wags in the cloister pantry.

Jimmy Bond will be released in 2018.

 Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

FBI FORCE FOX TO CHANGE TITLE OF FANTASTIC FOUR

HOLLYWOOD – Fox studios have been forced to change the title of the new Josh Trank movie The Fantastic Four to simply The Four.

The Fantastic Four has been released to universally disappointing reviews and the unprecedented legal case was brought by the FBI following a deluge of complaints from theater patrons. It stars Miles Teller as Mr. Fantastic, who will be renamed in the new version Mr. M’eh, Kate Mara as Susan Storm, renamed Susan Drizzle and Michael B. Jordan as the Human Torch, who will simply be known as the Torch and Jamie Bell as the Thingy.

Special Agent Jim Bauer told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Usually the FBI would never get involved in a dispute over the title of a movie but Jesus Christ, I don’t know if it was Fox or if it was Josh Trank, but someone needs to be warned that this film is in no shape or form Fantastic and certainly not four fantastics. From now on people going to see it will not be misled and hopefully everything will be okay from now on.

Although unusual, the actions of the FBI are not completely without precedent. When in 2012 the Tom Hardy, Chris Pine and Reese Witherspoon comedy This Means Hilarious War was released, the Federal Bureau of Investigation was forced to intervene and remove a word to make it more appropriate.

When asked for comment, Josh Trank simply said: ‘F*cking Fox, [mumble mumble] Fox!’

The Four is currently in theaters. 

FANTASTIC FOUR WILL BE NC-17

HOLLYWOOD – Following the announcement that Ryan Reynold’s Deadpool will be R rated, the news came that the Fantastic Four reboot will be NC-17 in what is being viewed as ‘a rating war.’

We all know that comic movies aren’t just for kids and with films such as The Dark Knight Rises and Kick Ass pushing the boundaries and striving for adult audiences, it seems that the new trend is to get darker, more violent and less kid friendly. Earlier this week Ryan Reynolds announced that the long-awaited Deadpool would be an R  rather than the much feared, tame, bloodless and fully clothed PG-13. The New Josh Trank remake of The Fantastic Four has gone one more, forcing the MPAA to award it an NC-17 certificate for what it calls ‘constant cunnilingus’.

Starring Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell and Kate Mara, the new Fantastic Four is an origin story of four young scientist who become a Marvel superhero team following being hit by an awful version of the same film in 2005 and again in 2007. In an attempt to stoke some interest, the team decided early on to put in as much violence and sex as they could. An insider told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

At first we were nervous about the certificate we might get. this is after all a tent pole style film, but after a certain point in filming we just decided to go for it. We actually started to add blood and gore where none was. And once we knew that Deadpool had already got the R rated we knew we’d really need to get pull out the stops and one thing we know that the MPAA can’t stand is the oral pleasuring of females. So the new film is ram packed with endless scenes of said act. I mean it’s wall to wall. Utterly unnecessary.

The Fantastic Four will be released briefly.  

JAMIE BELL TO STAR IN BILLY ELLIOT 2

HOLLYWOOD – He was a mere child when he was launched into the cinematic firmament playing the dancing hero of Billy Elliot, but now Jamie Bell is ready to return in Billy Elliot 2: the Rave Years.  

The screenplay by original screenwriter Lee Hall takes the action forward to the 1990s. Hall explained:

I’m fascinated by the early nineties rave scene and obviously Jamie was keen to have the story follow his age. So we find Billy in a desperate situation. Following his initial success in the world of ballet, Billy has fallen out of favor and slumped into a spiral of drugs and alcohol and now has to scrape a living as a warehouse podium dancer, hopped up on pills and blowing a whistle to the sounds of The Shamen

Jamie Bell spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec about his take on the new script: 

When I first spoke to Lee and Stephen about going back to Billy, I was resistant. I couldn’t see how it could work. But on watching Black Swan, I realised that classical dance can be an expression for getting an Oscar.

How about the dancing? 

Believe it or not I’ve kept it up. And we have kept the classical aspect in the new script despite the fact he’s dancing to Orbital now. The ravers are initially put off by my tendency to plié and jeté, but they soon redefine it as ironic and thereby he wins them over.

Stephen Daldry, who first directed the 2000 feel good movie, will return behind the camera.

Billy Elliot 2: the Rave Years will be released in 2016.